


Kundiman

by thedinokid



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, high school sweethearts probably???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-03-10 19:09:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 56,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3300431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedinokid/pseuds/thedinokid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When her father got into a terrible accident, Danny Lawrence chooses to drop out of high school and help her family. After two years, she decides to come back and finish her education. She doesn’t know what’s in store for her except that most of her friends have graduated, but then she meets the cutest human being to ever walk this earth. Someone who could rival even her 2-year-old sister, Annie. And God, she plays the piano.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> And this is my shot into the Hollence hsau! Fair warning though. The characters will feel really OOC in this fic because I can’t control myself. Anw, enjoy the fic!
> 
> Written in Danny’s POV. I’m playing with 2nd person POV for this one but for the other chapters, I opted for 3rd person POV. So good luck with that.

You never asked, but you were curious why your skin colour never matched theirs. Every time you came home from elementary school, you carried the echoes of adoption and ignorance in your head. Sometimes your brother would ask, “What’s wrong?” and take your hand as you weave through narrow streets and dark alleys, but all you could do was stare at his hand and compare the stark contrast of brown and white.

He’d catch you staring then he’d smile and say, “You’ve got the best eyes, little sis.”

He always argued that they looked similar with your father’s own pair, but he was lying for your sake because all of them had brown eyes and yours were blue; maybe that was okay because the only thing that registered to you was that he called you his little sister.

(From then on, you grew to love brown eyes, that their beauty is seen in the light of a smile.)

//

You loved words and the sound of your father’s voice. He’d come home straight from work; his clothes were stained with cement and he smelled like sweat and paint, but you’d settle on his lap for a good story. He’d tell you stories of his childhood, how he made wooden airplanes that fly and star-shaped lanterns for Christmas. Sometimes, he’d tell you about dragons and princesses, how they always got together, which earned a scoff from your mother; then your father would whisper that she was a fire-breathing dragon and he was the quiet princess.

When it was time for bed, you would beg for another story, but your father would shake his head so you would tug at his shirt and he would relent, but he would tell you stories of evil spirits and kapres and goblins. You’d hide under your blanket but the darkness, too, was scary. You’d ask him to stay with you for the night. He did and you learned that he’d tell you those stories so he’d have a reason to hold you close and make sure you remember that you were his daughter.

(One day, you’d tell stories about him.)

//

It was December 21, 2012 and someone told you that the world would end, but you shrugged it off because you knew that the world would miss this tiny human in your arms. You were sure she’d have a flat nose like your father and round eyes like your mother. (You knew even though they were still closed) You kissed her forehead and placed her back in her crib.

(“Little Annie,” you say, “I hope Joric can see you now if only he hadn’t left.”)

//

You were sixteen and with two years left in high school, when your homeroom teacher excused you from your class. Your blood froze when she asked you to bring your bag along because you knew that meant being sent home. Your worst fear had come when you’d return home as a disappointment because of school, but you knew you had done nothing wrong. You didn’t know that worse things could happen. Like finding out your dad involved in an accident.

You were glad to know that he was alive, but you had never seen him broken before. A metal beam had fallen on him and hurt his back, which apparently messed up his nervous system; now he can’t walk. You saw your mother cry over your father, the hospital fees, working another job and your tuition fees. And Little Annie. Oh God. Even though the government would support you with the child tax benefit, that didn’t mean it could help you all the way.

That night when you came home with your mother, you hugged her so tight and she felt so small in your arms. She told you about how your father’s employer messed up the papers to file the claim and now, you wouldn’t receive the compensation that your family needed. You promised to help and stop school after Grade 10 and work full time, but your mother stepped away from you and with teary eyes she said:

“But I don’t want to take that away from you. Danny, you deserve all the best in this world.”

“I have the best family in the world and that’s all I need.”

You hugged her again and cried along with her. She could’ve left you to die on that street. She could’ve just walked away, but your parents gave you everything that you needed. Forehead kisses when you were four and afraid of the dark. Kisses on the knees when you stumbled while playing basketball with your brother. Sweet spaghetti and hotdogs and marshmallows on your birthdays.

You’d give up everything for Annie to have that too. You’d be the one telling her stories of dragons and princesses, and sometimes pirates too. You’d be the one carrying her on your back and making her feel like she’s at the peak of a mountain and her fingers could touch the clouds. And you’d be the one singing to her at night and snuggle close to her when she’s scared of the dark. No one should ever take happiness away from her.

(Education can wait another day.)

//

You weren’t sure how to be a mother, but you knew how to love and maybe that’s enough to take care of your little sister. You didn’t know what to do when she first started to cry. You panicked and carried her while pacing around the room. You patted her back and thought that maybe this would calm her down but it never did and you thank the heavens that your father started speaking to you again when he suggested that maybe Annie was hungry. And in fact, she was.

Then you grew accustomed to it and could differentiate from changing her diaper and getting hungry. You also discovered that there were different times for laughs too. Sometimes she loved you blowing a raspberry on her stomach and sometimes she’s not amused with a peek a boo, but she always loved it when your father would throw her up in the air.

When Annie turned one, you were excited to teach her how to walk. You’d hold her little hands and guide her own her first steps; then, you let go of one hand and after a while, the other one as well. You sat down on the floor by your father’s bed as you wait for her to come walking to you. She reached out her hands to you as if to balance herself on her feet. Most of the times, she sat back down and crawled. You couldn’t scold her for it because she was little, knew little, and understood little, but you’d patiently teach her because you couldn’t wait to play hide and seek with her. It took six months for her to master the skill but you were so so glad because the first time she walked into your arms, she uttered the first syllable of your name.

You cried.

(These were the days when your mother was away, working, and you loved her in your own way.)

//

It was the dead of the night and it wasn’t your favourite shift, but it was a better pay than nothing. You worked at a 24/7 convenience store that your dad’s friend owned. You always wondered who would be buying at two in the morning except for the occasional drunks. You thanked God that you were strong and knew a few tricks in the art of self-defense.

You heard the ring of the bell; a young girl dragged her father into the store. She looked the same age as you except maybe younger. She ran to the food aisle and grabbed four bags of cookies, which she dumped on the counter in front of you.

“Are you sure, Laura?” her father said as he fumbled for his wallet.

The girl smiled sweetly in reply. (You saw the sparkle in her brown eyes.) Her father sighed.

“We’re a little bit jetlagged. Just moved into town,” he explained. You smiled and accepted his cash.

You gave Laura (that was the name you heard) the bag because somehow, you knew she’d open one of the packages and start munching on one cookie. You were right when you hear them laughing as they exit because her father had chided her about eating before even getting back to the car.

(Sometimes you wish that you could walk and laugh with your dad again.)


	2. It Started with a Smile on the First Day that We Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny meets Laura and instantly falls in love with her music.

Something was wriggling under her arm or rather, someone was wriggling under her arm.

 

“Annie, get back to sleep. It’s not yet time for your breakfast.” Danny groaned. She peeked at a little tawny ball of sunshine staring back at her.

“Dandan. School.”

 

_Shit._

 

Danny kicked off the sheets and looked up at the clock hanging on the wall decorated by hanging paper cranes. 7 AM. She might be able to make it if she catches the 8 AM bus to school.

 

She stretched her arms and her legs before she’d even try to stand because her legs always went numb from sleeping in a small bed and with a small child. Speaking of children, Annie was jumping on their bed and was excitedly chanting school. Goodness, this kid didn’t know how boring and scary school could be. Plus yesterday, she was crying over how Danny would leave her alone with their dad and his crazy old stories. Annie didn’t have the same taste as Danny did when she was younger but she guessed that maybe it was her fault that Annie didn’t like Dad’s goblin stories. She was way too attached to Danny like a little koala.

 

“Okay, squirt. Let’s go,” Danny said as she scooped up Annie in one arm and carried her out of the room. The little kid squealed in delight and kept chanting school until Danny finally told her to stop.

“It’s too early for this, kiddo,” Danny rolled her eyes at Annie’s pout.

 

The redhead placed her little sister on the seat beside her.

 

“Do you want cereal or --”

“Don’t worry, Danny dear. I got this,” their mother interrupted.

 

She placed a bowl of fried rice and a plate of scrambled eggs and sweet sausages. It had been a while since they’d eaten freshly-cooked food made by their mom. Grabbing a plate and utensils, Danny heard Annie answer that she wanted cereal instead of the hot food laid on the table. Danny shook her head because this kid could be stubborn sometimes, but Annie quickly agreed to eating rice when their mom told her that if she wanted to be like Danny, she should eat the same things as her. It always worked, but Danny wished the best of luck to her mother because Annie talked a lot and it took her half an hour to finish a bowl of cereal and an hour to finish a full meal. Well, no time for worrying about that.

 

7:20 AM. Danny finished eating and washed her dishes. Annie just had her first bite. She was telling the story of Danny making paper airplanes then she imitated the sound of an airplane engine. Their mother hushed her with a spoonful of rice. Annie seemed quite content to have her real mother feeding her again.

 

7:40 AM. It was probably the quickest shower Danny had recorded. She needed time to decide what to wear for her first day back in high school, but it’s not that she had a large collection. She chose a pair of light-washed jeans and her favourite baseball shirt with red sleeves. It was 18 degrees in Calgary. She wouldn’t particularly need a jacket. She gave quick peck to her sister and mother. A quick glance on Annie’s plate told her that it will probably take her mother another half hour for them to finish. After shouting “I love you,” she’s out the door.

 

10 AM. Danny will meet the cutest person to ever walk this earth. Someone who would even rival Annie’s.

 

* * *

 

It was nice to be back but it was also nerve-wracking as hell because all of her friends had graduated from high school. Making new friends wouldn’t be a horrible task. They wouldn’t mind that she was a couple years older than them, right? She walked into her first class.

 

The room was fairly quiet except for the two obnoxious boys who occasionally laughed loudly when the taller one showed something on his phone. Danny steered clear from them so she chose a seat as far away from them as possible. She chose the one next to a brunette who was tapping her pen on a blank page of her notebook. Someone’s excited for class. Before she could even put her bag on the floor, the brunette held out her hand and introduced herself.

 

“Hi, I’m Laura. Nice to meet you.”

“Danny. Nice to meet you too,” Danny took up the offer and shook Laura’s hand.

“Soooo... How was your summer?” Laura asked.

“Mostly work and hanging out with my little sister. You?” Danny answered as she slid the straps of her backpack from her arms and finally had the chance to sit down.

“That’s nice. I spent mine with my dad.”

 

Danny mentally slapped herself for forgetting about mentioning her dad.

 

“I know it’s not the coolest to, like, spend the whole summer with your dad or anything,” Laura rambled on when she noticed Danny dropping her gaze to the floor.

“No, no! It’s not anything like that. I mean dads are cool. I thought that was a given,” Danny reasoned. She ran her hand through her hair.

 

Laura became more relaxed and she smiled. For some reason, Danny’s heart skipped a beat.

 

“We made paper airplanes most of the time,” Danny added.

“My dad and I went trekking in Banff and --”

 

Laura was cut off when the teacher who came in. She was dressed in all black: blazer, skirt, shoes and all. Heck, even her lipstick looked black. Danny recognized her from anywhere. She was Mrs. Roth who almost failed her in English back in Grade 10. What was she still doing here teaching mediocre English? Danny hoped that she was in the wrong class.

 

“Hey, this is English 20, right?” Danny asked.

“Huh? No. English 10,” Laura answered.

“Crap.”

 

She _was_ in the wrong class. Danny shoved her notebook back in her bag, which she slung over her shoulder. She was not willing to relive English 10 hell with this witch. She was about to bolt to the door but Laura called out to her.

 

“Hey, you forgot your pencil,” Laura held it out for her.

 

Danny took it and muttered a quick thanks. The last thing she remembered were Laura’s bubbly laugh, her smiling eyes and her last words:

 

“See you, Danny.”

 

The pencil wasn’t even hers to begin with.

 

* * *

 

Danny joined Elsie’s group for lunch. She had been thankful for Elsie being her homeroom buddy and all. It put her not-fitting-in and having-no-friends-for-the-first-day anxiety to rest. Basketball was what brought them together.

 

“Danny, please defend my honor,” Elsie said.

 

Erica, Farah, and Beth immediately looked at Danny. She tried to laugh her nervousness and self-consciousness away. It seemed to work.

 

“You. You cannot just not like Miami Heat,” Farah accused.

“Yes, I can,” Danny said. Elsie had a smug look of victory on her face.

“But at least tell us that you watch NBA,” Erica said, almost pleading.

“Nope,” Danny replied, pausing from eating the slice of beef she had, “I don’t watch a lot of TV anyways.”

“See? Not everyone who plays basketball needs to watch NBA,” Elsie pointed out.

 

She and Danny did a high five. The other three groaned at the same time. Danny was about to add another reason as to why people shouldn’t watch NBA when Laura sat next to her and they bumped shoulders.

 

“Sorry -- Oh hey, Danny!” Laura said. Danny ran her fingers through her hair.

“Hey.”

“You found your class?”

“Yup.”

“That’s good then.” Laura smiled. _God._ There it was again. A skip in the natural rhythm of her heart.

 

“Um…” Danny started.

 

She poked at her broccoli and wanted to say more but the words were caught in her throat.

 

“Guess what? I bought an ouija board yesterday,” Mary said as she joined the table.

“What? No! Mary, this is getting out of hand,” Laura said.

 

Danny lost her chance to start another conversation with Laura when she was started discussing ghosts and the supernatural with Mary. Elsie cleared her throat and gestured for Danny to continue what she was about to say.

 

“NBA sucks. End of story.” Danny said.

 

That launched a full rant from Farah who listed the pros of watching NBA but Danny didn’t bother to hear about crappy men flaunting their manhood in a sport. Danny focused her attention on her seatmate who was chatting away about the summer she was about to tell Danny a while ago. Laura flailed her arms when she got to a bit about where her dad defended her against some weird creature Danny didn’t quite catch the name of because a piece of lettuce had fallen on her lap. Danny chuckled lightly because Laura was such a messy eater, even worse than Annie. There was already a stain on her green striped shirt but Danny didn’t bother to point it out because Elsie had dragged her again into this NBA debate. She didn’t really need to hear what it was about. All she had to do was debunk it.

 

“You know what? NBA now is just grounds for capitalism. They’re making all the matches longer by purposely losing so they could cash in more money from the games. It’s not about the actual sport anymore. Plus we should be talking more about the WNBA. Now that. That is something worth watching.” Danny explained.

 

Elsie slow clapped for her. Laura swallowed whatever she was chewing. She nudged Danny and said:

 

“That was cool. I think so too.”

 

Danny managed to form a smile and her red hair might have been a mess after so much of her hand-combing.

 

“Thanks,” Danny managed to say.

 

Laura opened her mouth to speak but she heard the sound of a new package of cookies being opened.

 

“Cookies!” Laura exclaimed. She reached over and stole one before the other redhead could swat her hand away.

 

LaFontaine shook their head while Laura munched on her cookie happily.

 

“You do know that there will be consequences for eating too many cookies,” LaFontaine said while hugging their cookies closer to themselves.

“Nope. But I do know the consequences of not sharing,” Laura replied as she finished her cookie.

 

Laura stood up to take another one but LaFontaine shielded their cookies from Laura’s hands. Laura didn’t back down. She touched LaFontaine’s hair. It was an absolute rule that no one should touch LaFontaine’s hair. It took them a lot of hair product to get it styled the way it is. Laura successfully got a cookie when LaFontaine checked the condition of their hair.

 

“Not fair,” LaFontaine said. Laura laughed.

 

In the end, LaFontaine shared their cookies with Laura who finished an entire row of cookies by herself.

 

Danny took note that chocolate chip was her favourite.

 

* * *

 

First day, first spare, what would one do? It would have been nice if Danny had someone to hang with or at least homework to do but the teachers had been nice not dumping any homework at students. Elsie and the others had class so Danny was left wandering hallways when a soft melody beckoned her to the end of the hall. She peeked through a tiny square glass window on the door. The room was filled with black chairs and a grand piano was in the center. A girl with a shade of brown hair that Danny would have memorized by now was playing the piano.

 

_How do you put words on a melody when you can’t name individual notes? When is it a do or a re when they’re all just a series of vibrations passing through your cochlea? But you know, oh, you know that this is the part where it builds up, where the notes feel like the air expanding your lungs and you’re about to breathe out the words you have never said before. You reach the chorus and the words are out, one after the other and sometimes they overlap since they sound better together. The music takes a short pause and you’re back to the soft gathering of your thoughts before you utter the same words but with more power because now you know the rhythm of how it would play out. Then few gentle words to end the piece, to end your peace as you wait in silence for her answer._

_So tell me. How do you put words on a melody?_

 

Danny’s heart was threatening to beat out of her chest. It was one of the most beautiful pieces she had ever heard in her 18 years of living in this earth. Not that she heard a variety but still…

 

Laura gathered the music sheets from the piano and covered the keys. Danny panicked when Laura headed for the door. The tall redhead squished herself in between a small space between the wall and a set of lockers. She counted one to sixty under her breath before she sneaked a glance at the hallway. Laura seemed smaller with the way she walked, shoulders slumping and her hands barely holding onto the music book.

 

Danny wanted to follow her and finally, talk to her but decided against it because she knew the words would come out as coughing flats and squeaky sharps and it wouldn’t be a wonderful melody.

 

* * *

 

Danny couldn’t even hear the words the teacher was saying. It wasn’t from the fact that she sat in the back because she was tall, but because of the fact that Laura’s melody stuck. She wanted to know the name of the piece but Laura’s name had a nice ring on the piece.

 

As her mind was subconsciously singing a melody, Danny’s hands were busy folding the graphing paper her Bio teacher had handed out a while ago. After two more folds, she produced a paper crane.

 

“Hey, that’s cool,” her seatmate said.

“Thanks,” Danny replied.

 

Then it struck her. If words continue to fail her, then maybe folding those same words into origami would work? It never failed with Annie. That little kid would jump up and down every time Danny would try a new animal origami for her and she was always rewarded with a kiss on the cheek and an ‘I love you.’ Maybe, maybe it could work.

 

Danny blew under the paper crane as if she was making a wish on a birthday candle. Maybe, maybe it could work.

 

* * *

 

Danny started out simple. Folding a frog was like a reflex just like the paper crane. She hoped Laura would get the message that it was for her. Maybe she should write Laura’s name on it but then Laura might recognize her handwriting. How could she? She hadn’t read any of Danny’s notes, but still Danny decided against it and placed the paper frog on the grand piano. She hid herself in the same spot she used before and waited for a melody to play in the background.

 

_You expect to hear something new to commit to memory, but you hear the same melody. It's still gentle like when you tuck little Annie to sleep. It feels like a forehead kiss you would give or the one you would receive from your father when you were young. How could the same melody have different words? Now you wonder if she's thinking about her father while she's playing the piano because you catch her making awkward pauses on the pre-chorus, then she would play the chorus with a little more force like she was trying to prove something to someone that she could be so much more. You want to tell her that she could be so much more but you know you can't. You don't want to croak out half-finished sentences._

 

Will she ever get used to fast heartbeats and loss of air because of a gentle melody? Probably never. She peeked inside and saw Laura talking to the paper frog.

 

“So Mr. Froggie, did you like that?” she asked.

 

She took the frog in her hands and whipped out a pen. Danny swore that Laura drew a tie on him but she wasn’t quite sure until Laura said:

 

“Now you look dapper. Like my father.”

 

Danny tried to stop herself from breaking into laughter because if she had, her cover was blown and she would fail in her mission to bring Laura happiness in small things that didn’t involve words.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, there was a general assembly for the student body. Danny sat with Elsie up in the bleachers. Laura was two rows down but Danny could see her clearly, even hear her every word with that loud voice she had. She was excitedly talking to LaFontaine about yesterday’s spare period and how she found a paper frog. She took it out of her pocket and showed it to them. She wasn’t really sure if it was for her but it was so cute that she couldn’t resist taking it and she was too shy to leave it there with her drawing of a necktie on it. Laura didn’t even give LaFontaine a chance to speak.

 

“Hello, I am a prince from Paper Marshmallowland. Would you like to give me a kiss? Ribbit-ribbit.” Laura said, lowering her voice by an octave.

 

Of all the names of places Laura had to choose, why this one? It must have been her lack of sophistication, but Danny knew she wasn't aiming for that. Princes could be goofy if Laura had pleased to make it so.

 

Danny broke out into laughter and Elsie stared at her as if she lost it.

 

“What’s funny?” Elsie asked.

“Nothing. I just remembered something,” Danny answered.

 

She was wiping tears from her eyes and Laura continued to imitate frog sounds for the rest of the assembly. LaFontaine joined in to annoy Perry with their childishness.

 

* * *

 

“Finally! Friday!” Laura chimed.

 

She was excited to jump into PJs and get back to her Buffy marathon she started before school. She stretched her arms and sighed happily.

 

“Don’t you have music lessons today?” LaFontaine reminded.

 

Laura’s smile dropped. She loved playing the piano but her nerves were always on the way when she’s in her formal lessons.

 

"So did you get a new origami today?" LaFontaine tried to snap her out of her dread.

"I did!" Laura beamed and showed them a small paper bunny.

"Nice! Can I take a closer look?"

"Be careful of Baby Bunny." Laura said as she gave the paper bunny to LaFontaine.

"Baby Bunny, really?"

"It’s Mr. Froggie's little bunny."

"Are you starting an origami family now?" LaF laughed. Laura made that bunched up face when she's annoyed.

"Yeah, you got a problem with that, huh?" Laura challenged LaFontaine as if she’s ready to take the fight into a street brawl.

"Not really... Oh hey, Laura, look," LaFontaine pointed at the body of the paper bunny. There was a small L scribbled on it.

"L! That’s me!" Laura squealed.

"Or it could be for me, you know. LaFontaine," they said blatantly. Laura punched their shoulder playfully.

"You don't even visit the music room!"

"Yeah, yeah. You got me," they returned the paper bunny to Laura. "Well, you got yourself a secret admirer in the first week.”

"Now the only question is who would it be?" Laura asked.

"Investigation's all yours, L" LaFontaine smirked and went ahead of Laura to board the bus.

 

Laura decided that maybe she should come earlier to the music room but that person might get scared and wouldn't make her any more of these animal origami. She didn't want that. She wanted a complete collection; she wanted a complete family.

 

* * *

 

LaFontaine didn’t want to admit but they were more curious on who had been leaving all these animal origami for their friend. It didn't take too much to find out. Their powder and brush for fingerprint sampling were of no use if the perpetrator stayed outside the door of the music room.

 

"Hey," LaFontaine said.

"Shit --” Danny swore her heart almost jumped out.

 

LaFontaine gestured to be quiet and pointed at the music room. Good thing Laura was still engrossed in her playing. Danny dragged LaFontaine to her usual hiding spot.

 

"Don't tell --"

"Yeah, yeah I got that. Tell me about it. I did mine with my best friend and well, being the secret admirer didn't last that long," LaFontaine interjected.

 

Danny chuckled but she became serious again when it became silent. Laura's finished with her practice today.

 

"I got this," LaF reassured.

 

Danny nodded and squished herself in the same spot. LaFontaine ran up to Laura who was holding a paper lobster. LaFontaine had a wider grin than Laura had.

 

(Oh goodness, she got it real bad.)

 

They tried to be chill about it and not tell about the tall redhead who was hiding in between the wall and the lockers. They could drop the hint that Danny and the lobster had one thing in common: red. LaFontaine bit their lip and suppressed their smile.

 

"A lobster? What are they going for?" LaFontaine said, trying so hard not to give away their amusement.

"Does it matter? It's so cool!" Laura said as she held the paper lobster up and made it swim in the air. She made blobbing sounds and then snapping sounds when she held the claw of the lobster.

"So what’s its name?" LaFontaine asked so that Danny to hear the name.

 

Laura stopped playing for a moment and put her thinking face on. She looked at the paper lobster and mumbled something LaF couldn't catch.

 

“Red.”

 

LaFontaine held a hand over their mouth to stop themselves from laughing.

 

“What?” Laura raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing. It’s cool,” LaFontaine tried to feign innocence.

 

They wrapped an arm around Laura’s shoulder and together, they walked towards the learning commons.

 

Danny slid down to the floor with her hands on her face. She thought her hands could contain the red from her face.

 

_Shit. She’s naming all of them. Too cute._

 

* * *

 

The next day, Danny ran into a scene she would rather not have gone into because a guy who almost had the same height as her confronted Laura and gave her a paper crane. Danny scoffed at the idea of someone stealing her identity as Laura’s secret admirer. No one could beat her at origami unless they’d been doing it for 2 years like she did.

 

“Were you the one leaving all those origami for the past 2 weeks?” Laura asked.

 

_Don’t say yes, you little fucker._

 

“Yeah,” this stupid guy in a muscle shirt running his hand over his thin hair. Like why would he do that if he didn’t have a glorious mane like hers?

 

Laura’s eyes lit up in excitement and she fumbled over her backpack. She pulled out a blue sheet of paper and handed it to the guy.

 

“Could you please make me a blue lobster? I heard they were very rare so…” Laura gazed at him with her puppy eyes.

“All right, all right, little hottie. I’ll try,” he said.

 

He pulled out his iPhone from the back pocket of his jeans and googled “how to fold a paper lobster.” He clicked on one of the first websites that were in the first results page. After 10 folds or so, the guy gave up and handed the unfinished product to Laura.

 

_Amateur._

 

“Um… The feet just won’t come out,” the guy tried to make an excuse.

“Kirsch, it’s because it says shrimp origami on the title of the webpage,” Laura pointed.

“Oh,” he scratched the back of his head and then apologized again.

 

Before he could embarrass himself further, Kirsch excused himself and escaped the scene. Danny hoped that guy would never come back in their lives. Wait, did she just assume herself being with Laura? _Shit._ She’s falling too fast and now she couldn’t stop. Danny made a mental note to make that blue lobster for tomorrow’s spare but she had to get as far away as possible before Laura could catch her panicking over her feelings for this tiny human.

 

* * *

 

The usual scene when Danny comes home would be Annie squealing in delight while running to hug her leg. Danny could lift her leg before and take a step away from the door, but now, it was just physically impossible since Annie’s head was reaching her hip.

 

“Kiddo, I know you missed me,” Danny said, and that made Annie hug her leg tighter.

“And I missed you,” she added, “But it’s going to get cold if I don’t close the door.”

“No!” Annie said, her voice muffled by Danny’s pants.

“ _Annie_.”

 

Upon hearing a change in her big sister’s tone, Annie let go of Danny’s leg. Danny closed the door behind her and made sure to turn the lock before fully hugging her little sister. She peppered her with kisses, which made Annie giggle. Danny carried her to the kitchen and asked:

 

“Where’s Mom?”

“Work.” Annie pointed to the door.

“Already?”

 

Annie nodded.

 

“How about Dad?” Danny asked. Annie clasped her hands and tilted her head towards them.

“Sleeping? Already?” No wonder this poor kid was waiting for her.

 

There were no sign of pans or plates in the kitchen. Danny guessed that their mother left in a hurry and she also forgot to prepare anything to eat. Annie might be getting hungry. Danny could whip up something fast, but then she remembered that blue carton lying in the pantry.

 

“Want mac and cheese, Annie?” Danny asked.

"Yes, please!" Annie smiled and nodded.

“Then we can make paper dinosaurs later?” Danny grinned.

“Yey!” Annie raised her arms, which hit Danny in the face.

“Ow!”

“Sorry,” Annie cast her eyes down.

“It’s all right, baby,” Danny kissed her on the cheek, “Now let’s go get that mac and cheese.”

 

* * *

 

Danny was sweating so much today; she knew something was really off today, aside from the fact that Annie had kept her up making paper dinosaurs. They made a pack of velociraptors and Danny was sure she was going to pass out from making all of them because Annie asked for at least 20. The little squirt reasoned that the big T-Rex needed to eat a lot of small dinosaurs so that it could grow bigger. Danny didn’t really see the logic in that, but what did she expect? She was dealing with a kid, and it was a kid she loved so dearly that she made her 1000 paper cranes once and she passed out sleeping for the next day.

 

But that wasn’t the main point.

 

Danny held a green paper T-Rex and the paper was sticking to her fingers because of how much her hands were sweating. She could feel eyes behind her back and it sent chills to her spine. Danny hoped it was just LaFontaine being the creepy science person observing their specimen and not Laura. Oh gosh, please not Laura.

 

Danny turned the knob and she was greeted with a smile.

 

“Crap!” Danny dropped the paper dinosaur she had.

 

Danny thought her heart jumped out of her chest. There’s just so much that a girl can take. She put a hand on her chest and tried deep breathing to calm herself down.

 

Laura was there, standing in front of her and smiling so sweetly at her. What should she do?

She could run and never to be seen again. She could hide back in her favourite spot between the wall and the lockers. Or maybe she could just smooth talk her way out of this? But first, she fixed her hair.

 

“Hi.” _Nice greeting._

“Hey,” Laura said. _God, she was still smiling._

 

Danny looked down at the poor dinosaur on the floor. She quickly bent down and picked it up. She held it out to Laura.

 

“For you.” _Keep cool._  As soon as Laura took it, Danny wiped her hands on her jeans.

“Thanks. This now completes my little family,” Laura hugged the T-Rex to her chest.

“So um,” Danny fiddled with her fingers, “do you like pie?” _Real smooth, Lawrence._

“Yes, I do!”

“My mom’s great with them. So Wednesday then?” Danny’s words just fell out of her mouth and now, she couldn’t take them back.

“Sure,” Laura replied.

 

Shit. What had she done? She just asked Laura out. How would she explain this to her mother and father? Oh God, oh God. Danny was definitely screwed.

 

 


	3. It Was a Feeling That I Couldn’t Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pie dates and poetry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah. The first part has implied homophobia. So um... yeah. Just letting you know.

She said it. Out of the blue. Danny was totally screwed. She asked out _the_ Laura Hollis out on a pie date. Were first dates supposed to be like that? She didn’t know.

 

She had never been in love until now.

 

Danny, smiling, looked out the window and watched the passing cars. She’d seen an old man holding hands and walking with his little daughter on the sidewalk.

 

Then it hit her.

 

How would she ever tell her parents that she actually like this girl she met on her first day back to high school? They were devoted Roman Catholics who were kinda okay with homosexuality, but she wasn’t really sure if their daughter turned out to be one. But then again, she wasn’t really _their_ daughter, so she guessed that would be fine, right?

 

Danny got home and Annie came to hug her like the usual, but Danny wasn’t in the mood to pull the little kid for a hug. Annie huffed and crossed her arms.

 

“Dandan!” Annie said. It pulled Danny out of her thoughts. Her lips curved up into a smile.

“Sorry, baby. Dandan was thinking of something,” Danny carried Annie, then kissed her on the cheek.

“Is Dad awake?” Danny asked. Annie nodded.

 

Her shoulders slumped. Danny took a deep breath then went into her parents’ room with Annie.

 

The door creaked open. Usually, Danny would burst into the room with Annie but today, she was damn nervous. How would it play out? Will her dad and mom shun her forever and kick her out? Danny never wanted to disappoint her parents, but what could she do when she really likes this girl?

 

Her dad was reading a book when she came in. He looked up and gave her a small smile. He scooted over to the left side of the bed to give his daughters space on the bed. Danny set Annie down, who ran to her toy kitchen set in the corner of the room. Danny’s father gave her the book he was reading.

 

“Read me something from it,” he requested. This was how they greeted each other sometimes, with poetry or short stories. She had to choose carefully from the anthology.

 

Danny flipped over the table of contents and one title caught her eye.

[“Discussing Love With An Intellectual” by Nadine Ramos](http://issuu.com/heights-ateneo/docs/lx_11-13_online)

 

Danny read the poem to her father; sometimes she looked up to gauge his reaction. His face was calm and he looked at her lovingly.

 

She finished then closed the book. She waited for his guess on why she chose that poem. It’s not that hard to guess.

 

“Danny,” he took her hand, “you’re in love, aren’t you?”

 

Danny swallowed and she squeezed her father’s hand. Danny couldn’t form words and her eyes in the brink of tears; all she could do was nod. Her father sat straight against the headboard and put on a stern face.

 

“What did he do to you?” he asked.

 

Danny managed to squeak out a “She.” He looked even more confused.

 

“She? You mean your friend is in love and asking advice from you?” he assumed. Danny shook her head.

“So you’re…” he furrowed his eyebrows. Danny took a deep breath.

“In love with a girl,” Danny added.

 

She expected to have a wide-eye stare from her father but he laughed gently and beckoned her for a hug. Danny nestled on his chest. Her father stroked her hair as he muttered what Danny guessed were prayers to God.

 

“I love you either way.”

 

Danny cried.

 

* * *

 

They heard a click of the door lock. Danny didn’t want to move away from her dad but he stopped stroking her hair and said:

 

“Danny, Mom’s here.”

“But I don’t want to go,” Danny said as she snuggled closer to her dad and Annie who slept in between them.

“I’ll be here,” her dad kissed her head.

 

Danny moved away from her dad and straightened her shirt. She rubbed her eyes and smiled at her dad. She felt better, but the sinking feeling was back. Her mother didn’t know yet and she had to go through the talk again. Speaking of her mother, she entered the bedroom.

 

“Hey, Mom,” Danny began.

“Yes?” her mom asked while settling on a spot next to her dad and removing her watch then placing it on the side table.

“So um, there’s something I have to tell you,” Danny gulped.

 

She wrung her hands. She thought that this would be easier since she already told her dad but her heart was still racing and her hands were getting cold and sweaty. Her mother turned to face her. Danny sighed.

 

“I’m in love with a girl,” Danny’s words flowed better than last time.

 

Her mother was clearly taken aback. The way her eyebrows furrowed and the confusion in her eyes told so much of her answer. Her mother checked her dad who kept a calm expression.

 

“How can you approve of this?” the question that broke Danny’s heart.

“Angie --”

“No. Never mind. I don’t need your explanation,” her mother interjected.

“And you,” Angie pointed at Danny, “I didn’t raise you up to be like _this_.”

“But, mom, you’ve always been fine. You’re friends with gay guys. How is it different with me?” Danny fought back.

“Because you are _my_ daughter. And _that’s_ not who you are,” her mother snapped.

“But mom, this is who I am. I thought you said that I deserved all the best in this world. Why would it be different if it’s with a girl?” Danny asked, teary-eyed and fists clenched.

 

Danny’s mother shook her head and pointed at the door. “We’ll talk about this another time. I’m too tired for this conversation.”

 

Danny opened her mouth then closed it again when her father looked at her. He mouthed that he would try and talk to her tonight. Danny nodded, carried Annie and retreated to her room.

 

“Richard, our daughter is in love,” Angie sighed.

“Completely normal,” Richard replied.

“With a girl,” she groaned.

“Yes and that’s completely fine. We love who we can love, don’t we?” Ric said.

“I guess so,” Angie sighed again.

 

* * *

 

Danny had been distracted lately, missing her bus rides and daydreaming in classes. Although her mother told her that they would have the conversation another time, she had been avoiding any decent conversation with Danny. They only talked in the morning when Angie packed her lunch and took care of Annie.

 

"Danny?" Elsie waved a hand in front of Danny's face. A piece of meat fell onto Danny's tupperware.

"Yeah? Sorry," Danny said, poking the same piece of meat.

"So I was asking if you wanted to watch a movie tomorrow. I mean it's Half Price Tuesday."

 

Danny's eyes lit up at the sound of Half Price but her heart sank at Tuesday. That would mean Wednesday was getting closer and Laura would visit them for pie. Danny remembered about her mother. There was no way she would be making Danny pie this Wednesday. Maybe she should tell Laura that they wouldn’t be able to have that pie date after all. God, she didn’t need any more knots twisting in her stomach.

 

"So are you coming or what?" Elsie asked.

"I'll have to ask my mom first," Danny popped the piece of meat into her mouth.

 

Danny took a deep breath and sighed as she chewed. She added another thing to her list of things she needed to say to her mother. She tuned out the conversation Elsie and the others as she glanced to the table across them. Laura had spaghetti sauce on the corner of her mouth. It sent butterflies fluttering in Danny's already twisted stomach.

 

* * *

 

 

Danny got home and was kinda sad to not find Annie running towards her. When she stepped into the kitchen, she knew why. Her mother was there waiting for her while Annie was busy eating chicken noodle soup. Her mother was dressed for work.

 

"I called that I'll be late," her mom started. Danny gripped the straps of her backpack.

"I needed you to know as soon as I can. I think I'm ready. You were right. You deserve all the best, Danny. And I love you." her mother said.

 

Danny ran to her mother to hug her. She was crying. Angie was teary-eyed but she tried to stop the tears because she had to go to work soon. Danny muttered repeated gratitude in her mother's ear.

 

"I want you to meet her," Danny said as she pulled out from the hug.

"When?"

"Wednesday."

"This Wednesday?"

"Yup. She's coming over for pie," Danny answered. Angie put her hands on hips then shook her head. Danny held her breath. Her mother walked over to their refrigerator and checked it.

 

"I thought so. We're out of butter," Angie remarked. Danny sighed in relief.

"I'll get it," Danny volunteered.

"Them," Angie handed her a quick list for groceries.

 

Danny smiled. She would have to skip Half Price Tuesday for Pie Wednesday.

 

* * *

 

 

Laura agreed with Danny to go to Danny's house together, but Danny didn't expect that LaFontaine, Perry, and Mary would be accompanying them in the bus. She guessed that maybe they were going the same way, but she didn't see them often when she rode home. Maybe they really loved talking to Laura? When they got off at the corner of the street, they were still talking to Laura. That's when it clicked. Laura invited her friends for pie. Good God. Laura finally gave her attention to Danny when she asked:

 

"So what kind of pie does your mother usually bake?"

"Um, it's a secret," Danny said, running her hand through her hair, "I guess you'll have to find out." Danny grinned.

 

They continued to walk side by side. Sometimes their hands brushed and Danny wanted to tangle her fingers with Laura's but her hands were getting so sweaty and she figured no one would want to hold hands with that kind of hands.

 

* * *

 

Danny thought that maybe it wasn't so bad Laura's friends were here. She could've melted into goo if she had been left alone with Laura. She didn’t even want to start thinking about awkward silences.

 

Danny opened the door to their house and was greeted by Annie. The little kid hugged her leg and was giggling but then she stopped when she saw the visitors. Laura bent down and smiled at Annie.

 

"Hi there. I'm Laura and what's your name?"

 

Annie looked up at Danny like she didn't know what to say. Danny carried her.

 

"Go on. Tell them," Danny encouraged.

"Annie." Annie put her fingers to her mouth as soon as she said it.

"Annie, don't put those into your mouth. They're dirty." Danny pulled her hand.

 

Danny and Laura moved away from the front door so the others could come in. Angie called out from the kitchen and told them to leave their stuff by the living room. Danny kissed her mom on the cheek. Laura and her friends were cramped into the kitchen/dining area of the house.

 

Danny’s mother wiped her hands on her apron and greeted the guests, “Make yourselves at home.”

 

The group shuffled to the dining table. It could only fit four and Laura was hesitant to take a seat.

 

"It's okay I can pull up a stool," Danny said.

 

Danny set Annie down, who immediately went to her mother's side. Danny took a stool from another room and placed it in between Laura and LaFontaine.

 

"Danny, could you get the forks and plate, please?" Angie said.

 

Danny got the utensils from the drawer beside her mother. Angie took this chance to ask her daughter.

 

"So which one is she?"

"Oh, um." Danny glanced over to Laura. Angie followed her eyes and nodded.

"Isn't she too small for you?" Angie commented.

"Mom! Like you're one to talk. You're almost smaller than her." Danny said. Her mom pinched her side. Danny laughed and ran away before she’d get another pinch from her mother.

 

Danny passed forks and plates before settling on her seat. Annie insisted on sitting on Danny’s lap but she kept silent most of the times. It’s not that Danny had been taking part in the conversation too.

 

“So Danny, how much do you know about dinosaurs?” Laura pulled her into the conversation as she pulled out the T-Rex origami Danny made for her. Annie jumped off Danny’s lap to fetch her own collection.

“Not much. Just folding them into paper. And that they’re extinct,” Danny replied.

“See, Laura?” LaFontaine gestured to Danny, “Even she thinks that dinosaurs are extinct.”

 

Laura rolled her eyes.

 

“I’m pretty sure that they exist in an island we have no knowledge of,” Laura said. Danny laughed.

“Not you too!” Laura complained.

 

Annie came in with her pack of velociraptors and her own T-Rex. She struggled keeping them in her arms without one falling on the floor.

 

“Dinosaurs!” she exclaimed.

 

She put all of the paper dinosaurs on the table. Laura added hers in.

 

“What’s the name of yours, Annie? Mine’s Dino Danny,” Laura said.

 

LaFontaine laughed out loud while Danny blushed and sank into her seat. Annie retreated to Danny’s lap and refused to answer Laura.

 

“Annie, answer the nice lady’s question,” Danny’s mom said as she placed the pie on the table, “And also clear out this mess, dear.”

 

Annie didn’t move, neither could Danny. Their mom just sighed and shook her head. She took the paper dinosaurs off the table. She also got Laura’s dinosaur.

 

“Sorry, um, that’s mine. I can keep it,” Laura said. Angie handed her the paper dinosaur and quickly apologized.

 

Angie cut the pie into slices and served them. They proceeded to eat it and one bite, all of them loved it.

 

“This is so good!” Laura remarked.

“It is! Um, Mrs. Lawrence, is it okay if you teach me this recipe?” Perry asked.

“Sure, and call me Angie. If you could come earlier next Wednesday, I might be able to teach you,” Angie replied.

 

Danny had been watching Laura eat. It had always been her favourite pastime. The crumbs were just falling all on her lap. The sauce on anything, really, were always left on the corners of Laura’s mouth. Laura turned to Danny and said:

 

“Thanks for inviting me today. This is really good.”

“You’re welcome.”

 

They stared for a couple of seconds with Danny glancing at Laura’s lips and she tried to make her attraction not obvious by pointing out the sauce on Laura’s face.

 

“You have a little bit of something there,” Danny said as she proceeded to wipe Laura’s face with a napkin. Laura blushed and furiously wiped her face with the back of her hand so that none of the sauce or crumbs were left.

“Oh, um, thanks,” Laura said. LaFontaine snickered, which made Perry elbow them, and they stopped.

“So Danny, do you have any interests in ghosts or supernatural creatures and what-not?” Mary asked, obviously not reading the atmosphere.

“I don’t really believe in them because…” Danny left out the part that she was actually terrified of them, but since Annie was there, she had to act like the brave big sister, “But I’ve heard stories about them. My dad told a lot of them.”

 

“Oh! Do tell us!” Mary encouraged.

“Kiddo, I don’t think you’d want to be here right now,” Danny said to Annie. Annie responded with a hug.

“Annie, you can go play with Dad for a while,” Danny tried.

“No!”

“ _Annie_ ,” Danny put her big sister voice again.

 

Annie pouted and moved down from Danny’s lap. The little kid ran to her mother instead.

 

Danny told them the story of little elves and their homes in grasses with razor sharp edges, and how one should say a specific phrase when one is wandering through their land because one could get horribly cursed by unknown illnesses for disrespecting their home. When Danny finished, Mary was impressed and so was Laura, but when Laura asked a few questions, Danny couldn’t find the words to answer her questions. When Mary asked something, Danny could reply almost immediately.

 

Danny really hoped that Laura didn’t take it too personally for not being able to answer her questions because Laura had talked to LaFontaine and Perry for the rest of the evening until they said their goodbyes.

 

Danny really hoped that Laura knew that Danny was helplessly attracted to her that Danny didn’t feel worthy enough to utter any words.

 

* * *

 

Danny plopped down on her father’s bed and planted her face on a pillow.

 

“How did it go?” her father asked.

“Horrible,” Danny said, her voice muffled by the pillow.

“Or so I heard from your mother,” her father replied as he flipped another page on his book.

 

Danny turned her head to face her father.

 

“Dad, how did you and mom, you know, got together?” Danny asked. Her father closed his book and set it down on the side table.

“Is this the new way for asking courtship advice?” her father narrowed his eyes.

“Probably,” Danny shrugged, “and also you never told me.”

 

Her father laughed lightly.

 

“I thought I subtly told you when I read you those fairy tale books when you were younger,” her father said. Danny rolled her eyes.

“Dad, I was five. How could I have analyzed that?”

“Good point.”

“But really, what do girls like?” Danny blurted out.

 

Her father just looked at her and sighed. He bit back the question of “Aren’t you a girl?”

 

“Let’s see. Back in my day, girls loved serenades.”

“But I’ve only sung in karaokes,” Danny said.

“That’s still a start. Ask Mom to take you for practice,” he grinned.

“Okay, what else?”

“Hmm… Maybe draw a portrait of her or cook something for her! Food always does the trick,” he suggested.

 

Danny sighed. She knew that those two were also not in her areas of expertise. She could draw and cook, but she’s not the best one for the job.

 

“How about flexing your arms?” her father said, rolling up his sleeves and showed off his biceps, “I mean you’ve been working out for basketball tryouts this fall. Why not show it off? Don’t girls love those?”

 

Danny laughed so hard that she almost fell off the bed. The mere thought of Laura even drooling over her arms made her laugh even more. It boosted her ego.

 

“Dad, no! You can’t be serious,” she said. Her dad shook his head.

“Then why not use words? Tell her how you feel; tell her how beautiful her eyes are,” his tone getting more serious.

“That’s the problem,” Danny admitted, “the words just won’t come out of my mouth.”

 

Richard patted his daughter’s head.

 

“You know what you do when you can’t speak the words? You write them. Love her through poetry.”

 

Danny knew that her writing wasn’t the best too, but this she could probably pull off. Handwritten poetry was so old-fashioned. She was sure Laura would love it.

 

“Thanks, Dad,” she said as she hugged her dad.

 

Now it was time to write the best love poetry she could ever have thought of and pour out her feelings for this girl.

 

* * *

 

LaFontaine found Laura reading over something by her locker.

 

“Hey, what’s that?” they asked.

“Some sort of poetry, I guess,” Laura answered. LaFontaine made a quick read through.

 

Staccato

 

Am I to dare myself to speak to you,

If words are broken and have been stuck in

My throat for times I definitely knew

The things I have to say? Let me begin.

My love for you is like the morning sky.

It’s only starting out, but colours are

Already bursting out, but still it’s shy

Just as the sun peeks through to quell the dark.

Your eyes have trapped my heart in brown delight,

The paradise I’d love to stay for life.

I wish you knew you keep me up at night

Because I wonder if you’d be my wife.

 

I know it’s early to request your hand

So I will hide behind the words I banned.

 

~~(I love you.)~~

 

They squinted at that one line where it was scribbled over. It looked like it was composed of three words. They smiled because it didn’t take long to figure it out.

 

“It’s a sonnet, L. And you know what sonnets are usually for?” LaFontaine said as they handed back the poem to Laura.

“Well, yeah, I knew that. They’re mostly for love, aren’t they?”

“You got it. And you just got yourself a poet head over heels in love with you,” LaFontaine nudged her.

 

Laura blushed, “What? But who?”

 

LaFontaine laughed because they knew who it was but Laura was so slow on these things. She couldn’t possibly believe that it was someone other than Danny.

 

“I’m pretty sure it’s not Danny,” Laura said. LaFontaine covered their face with their hands.

“Why would you think that?” LaFontaine asked.

 

“I mean origami’s her thing and we’re kinda close now so she wouldn’t need to do these kinds of things for me,” Laura reasoned. LaFontaine shook their head.

 

“I mean she’s great and all. I wouldn’t want to assume that she likes me this way,” Laura rambled on.

 

“Whatever you say, L,” LaF said. They didn’t want to bother tell Laura how Danny was completely smitten by her. They guessed she had to figure that out by herself.

 

* * *

 

 

It was the second Pie Wednesday, but the pie wasn’t ready by the time they got there because Perry insisted on making the pie with Danny’s mother. LaFontaine nudged Danny and said:

 

“If Perry figures out your mom’s pie, we wouldn’t need to visit you every Wednesday.”

“And you can have Laura all to yourself,” they whispered. Danny blushed and shoved LaFontaine. They laughed.

“But I love going to Danny’s house!” Laura said.

“T-thanks,” Danny mumbled, her heart beating faster. She shoved her fingers through her hair.

“I’m pretty sure it’s just because she wants to see Annie’s dinosaur collection,” Mary explained.

“No! It’s not that!”

“Well, I-I could--”

“Why then, Laura?” Mary interrupted Danny.

“It’s just that… Danny is a great friend and I want to hang out with her and know her better,” Laura answered, her voice significantly smaller. LaFontaine and Mary exchanged glances and grins.

 

Danny stayed silent for the rest of the night unless she was spoken to by anyone except Laura. Somehow, she could only utter incoherent sounds.

 

* * *

 

Another paper fell out of her locker. Laura tried to catch it before it lands on the floor but she failed to do so. Someone swiped it before Laura could pick it up.

 

“What’s this?” It was Kirsch.

“Kirsch, just give it back,” Laura said. Kirsch raised it above his head and read the title.

“Funny thing about me…” Kirsch read aloud.

“Kirsch!” Laura whined.

“What is this, little hottie? The letters are everywhere,” Kirsch said as he gave it back to Laura. Laura swiped it from his hand.

“None of your business,” Laura hissed.

 

Kirsch frowned, shoved his hands into his pockets then walked away without a word.

 

Laura quickly read the poem.

 

Funny Thing about Me

 

I think I’m f

                  a

                    l

                      l

                        i

                          n

                             g  toofast

                                            foryou.

I can’t contain) the fast **beat** lubdub **ing** lubdublubdub of my heart

                   .  .     

when you s       e.

                  mil

 

I don’t need food when I can get full just by staring intO yOur eyes of

           cinnamon swirls.

                                                           !!!HEAVEN!!!

                                                     to                             _I have been blessed by an angel._

                                              me

                                         es

                                    ak

And God, your laugh t

 

I love the idea of ~~you and me.~~ of ~~we?~~ stars.

                                                           us.              

 

There was a little sidenote of “I hope you understood what I was trying to get at.” Two stick drawings under the stars were beside the note. Laura giggled. She couldn’t wait for the next one or she couldn’t wait to meet this person.    

 

* * *

 

 

Danny wasn’t really in the mood to talk today. All she could think about was writing. She hadn’t had any good ideas to write on this week. Hopefully she could quickly write a poem or maybe try a sonnet again for Laura so she could give it tomorrow. She was playing with her slice of pie when Laura asked her:

 

“Hey, Danny, so what’s new with you today?”

 

Danny didn’t respond immediately. She’d been counting syllables in her head.

 

“It’s nothing new. I’m just in love with you,” she blurted out.

 

Her mother stopped from washing the dishes and left the water running. Perry dropped her fork on her plate. Mary stopped talking. LaFontaine kept lecturing Annie, who was clearly not interested about how the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell.

 

Danny felt the stares of the people around her. SHIT. What did she say? She backtracked to her thoughts then realized that she just said her thoughts out loud. fuckfuckfuck Laura was looking at her so curiously. Danny wished she could shrink into anything right now. Anything but tall and so so in love.

 

She had to save herself and fast.

 

“I-I was thinking of trying to write sonnets,” Danny reasoned.

 

“Sonnets for Laura?” Perry asked. That’s when LaFontaine finally stopped pestering Annie and joined in. They were grinning.

 

“N-no! It’s just, you know, practice for writing and stuff,” Danny tried to explain. All of them had smug look on their faces except for Laura who was blushing.

“Hey! If she says it’s for practice, then it’s for practice,” Laura said, regaining her composure.

 

LaFontaine opened their mouth for a remark but Perry hushed them and gave them that shush-Laura-is-freaking-serious-right-now look. The subject was dropped altogether and they resumed what they were doing. Except for Laura. She nudged Danny and whispered:

 

“So who’s the lucky person?”

 

Danny’s heart thumped in her chest because of how Laura was so close to her. Danny looked to her mother who in turn was staring back at her with a knowing look. She’d wanted to say to her mother to fuck off but that would be out of context and rude to Laura. Danny played with her pie using her fork then said:

 

“I told you it was for practice.”

 

Laura raised her eyebrows and smirked. Danny hoped that Laura would be oblivious enough to not connect the dots.

 

“I’ll wait for you to tell me,” Laura said.

 

_Fuck._

 

* * *

 

Danny opted for a different poem because she would have been caught if she did another sonnet. Since it was her spare, she didn’t bother to look around when she slipped a piece of paper into Laura’s locker.

 

“Hey!”

 

Danny swore she could’ve died right then and there. She looked down and saw Laura. She slammed her hand on the locker then run her other hand through her hair.

 

“Hey,” Danny said, “Laura.”

“What’s up?” Laura asked.

“I, uh, I thought that maybe…” Danny stammered, “we should spend our spare period together.”

 

She really needed to stop saying things she shouldn’t say for her sake.

 

“Oh! Sure, why not? I hope me practicing piano is alright with you?” Laura said.

“Yes! It’s cool,” Danny said.

 

Laura smiled and they stared at each other for a while. Laura’s smile never faded away.

 

“So um, I just need to…” Laura pointed at her locker.

“Sorry!” Danny said as she withdrew her hand from the locker and took a step back.

 

A piece of paper fell out and Danny caught it for Laura. Danny, contemplating whether she should keep it or not, held to it for a moment, but then Laura looked at her. She returned the paper to Laura who seemed eager to read it.

 

Danny watched Laura read her poem. Laura put a hand over her mouth and she looked like she was about to cry.

 

“You okay?” Danny asked.

“Yes, it’s just that no one has ever been this sweet with me,” Laura said as she folded the poem and put into her pocket.

“I mean, since your origami, of course,” Laura added quickly, “That made me really happy.”

 

Laura suddenly grabbed Danny’s hand. Danny’s heart jumped.

 

“Oh God! I haven’t even thanked you for that! So thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome.”

 

Danny could feel the heat spreading to her face. Laura’s hands were so soft. She wanted to hold them and kiss them. The touch was short-lived. Laura let go to take her music books from her locker then closed it.

 

“Let’s go,” Laura offered her hand.

 

Danny wiped her hand on her green jeans. Laura tried to hold her laughter in. It made Danny more nervous but she took up the offer and held Laura’s hand.

 

She bit her lip to contain her smile.

 

* * *

 

Laura sat down on the bench then patted the spot beside her.

 

“Don’t you think sitting beside you would disturb you with your practice?” Danny asked. Laura shook her head.

“Don’t worry. I’m just playing a simple melody today,” she replied.

 

Danny sat down beside her. Her heart beat a little faster. Danny thought that the heater was broken because the room temperature was going up, but she figured out that it was only her.

 

Laura did play a simple melody. They were short quarter notes and they didn’t overlap like the previous melody that Danny had heard. Danny watched Laura’s fingers press on different keys and she found it quite amusing how Laura’s hands bounced up when she played the short notes. It had a happy mood on the piece. Danny was in a happy mood to be beside Laura. The melody stopped. It left Danny hanging for more.

 

“Why’d you stop?”

“I messed up on one part,” Laura said.

“No, you didn’t. It was perfect.”

 

Laura sighed. She gave Danny a tight-lipped smile. Laura rubbed her hands together then put them on her face.

 

“Maybe your hands were cold?” Danny said.

“Yeah, they are right now.”

 

Danny found it cute that Laura was using her cheeks to warm her hands. Speaking of cold hands, Danny thought of a weird idea. Her heart was racing. She knew she shouldn’t go with this thought she had, but she couldn’t stop herself like the words she said:

 

“Let me warm them up for you,” Danny said as she took both of Laura’s hands.

 

Her hands were real cold. A while ago, they weren’t when she and Danny were holding hands. Danny smiled at the memory. She made Laura’s palms face her.

 

_Well here goes._

 

Danny took a deep breath and kissed Laura’s right thumb. Laura held her breath. Danny recited the lines:

 

_One_

Rule of thumb,

I love you.

 

Laura’s jaw dropped and she was about to say something but Danny continued on. She kissed her index finger next.

 

_Two_

Point out what hurts

and I’ll make it better.

 

Then her middle finger.

 

_Three_

Don’t be afraid

To tell people to back off.

 

Danny kissed her ring finger while looking at Laura. She had her eyes closed.

 

_Four_

The weakest player

But the strongest bond.

 

Laura smiled. Danny’s lips moved onto her pinky.

 

_Five_

You’re small but

equally important.

 

Danny laced her fingers with Laura’s right hand. She moved to Laura’s left pinky.

 

_Five_

I’ll make promises

that I can keep.

 

Danny paid special attention to her left ring finger by giving it a couple more kisses before reciting the next few lines.

 

_Four_

Give me time

And I’ll put a ring on it.

 

“Danny --” Laura sounded like she was out of breath.

“Shh or I won’t be able to finish.”

 

Danny’s lips were on Laura’s tall finger.

 

_Three,_

a provocation

and a seduction.

 

Then her pointing finger.

 

_Two_

Pick out the loveliest

white dress you want to wear.

 

And finally, Laura’s left thumb.

 

_One_

But before all that,

I hope you love me too.

 

Danny finished by intertwining their fingers and waited for Laura’s response. Golden greens greeted her ocean blue. Laura’s first reaction was to let go of Danny’s hands and hug her.

 

“I love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the link works and the poetry made sense. And also if you're wondering why it feels so fast, it's because I'm condensing two years into limited number of chapters. Plus, I just want shameless Hollence fluff to exist.


	4. Our Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shameless Hollence fluff that would normally be the behaviour of two teenagers enjoying their first loves. Almost kisses are a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long! I've been trying to write in bits but it's always hard to convert images to words so yeah. I hope you enjoy this! :) And also there are a few links in the fic. You could go check them out if you want to. They're the ones underlined. ^_^

"So you're a thing now?" Elsie asked. Danny almost choked on spaghetti.

"What do you mean?" Danny swallowed. Elsie laughed.

"I mean with tiny freshman over there," Elsie threw a glance at Laura's direction.

"You've been exchanging glances for like the last 5 minutes."

"You can't judge a relationship by glances, Elsie," said Danny. She proceeded to drink from her water bottle and sneaked a glance at Laura. Elsie smiled.

"Sure, Danny. But remember we have basketball tryouts next week," Elsie gathered up her things, "so get your head in the game, Lawrence."

Danny almost threw the rest of her lunch at Elsie, but Laura laughed so loud that it distracted her. The others looked at her with the same smug look Elsie had.

"Shut up."

* * *

 

Danny was boarding the bus when she heard LaFontaine say goodbye to Laura. Laura rushed to get onto the bus and sat beside Danny.

“They’re not coming?” Danny asked. She squeezed her knees. She hoped that they’d come for pie today. She gotten used to escaping awkward situations by talking to LaFontaine, Perry, and Mary.

“Nope. It’s just you and me today,” Laura answered, smiling. _Just you and me. You and me. You. And. Me._ It kept repeating in her head. Danny swallowed and offered a small smile.

LaFontaine knocked on their window. They wiggled their eyebrows and grinned. Danny wanted to slam at the window, but she rolled her eyes instead, while Laura blushed.

Danny saw Perry scolding LaFontaine as the bus rolled by and took a turn. Danny looked at Laura, who was still blushing. She hoped that it wouldn't be an awkward silent ride home, but she was proven wrong when Laura spoke up.

"Read anything lately?" Laura asked. Thank God that reading was right up her alley, but it took a moment before Danny could pull out an answer.

"Just a few poems," Danny said, still thinking of any novels she'd read lately.

"Poetry! Nice! Do you remember some of them?"

"Hmm... Let me see," Danny rubbed her chin, "I think it goes like this." Danny locked eyes with Laura.

[ _You say your eyes are an average brown, and I completely disagree. The word brown cannot fulfill what your eyes are. They’re not just brown, they’re the colour of soil after heavy downpour. They’re the colour of cinnamon on a heavy snow day. Your eyes have trapped sunlight like the sudden rush of piercing sun rays on opening a dark room._ ](http://thedinocommander.tumblr.com/post/110720386752/you-say-your-eyes-are-an-average-brown-and-i)

"Or something like that. I can't remember the whole piece," Danny broke their connection. Danny hadn't noticed that Laura was redder than before. Laura leaned her head on Danny's arm.

"You little nerd," Laura commented. Danny coughed.

"Irony," Danny coughed again. Laura pinched her side.

"Hey!" Danny yelped. Laura pouted at her. Danny noted that Laura's a little bit touchy about her height, but she'd still tease her about it. For now, Danny wrapped her arm around Laura's shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm _your_ little nerd," Danny whispered. Laura smiled.

It was a silent ride back home, but not so awkward as Danny had expected. No usual heartbeat races. No overheating. No slipping of words. Just comfort in knowing Laura's by her side, their breathing in sync like they had been together for a long time.

* * *

 

They walked home while holding hands. Danny was so adamant on holding Laura's hand that she dropped her keys as she tried to get it.

"Danny, you know you can hold my hand after you open the door,” Laura suggested. Danny held Laura’s hand tighter as she stared back at Laura.

“If there’s one thing I would never do, it would be letting you go,” Danny said. Laura blushed.

Danny picked up her keys and after a few tries, she finally got the right key to open the door. As soon as Annie came running, she let go of Laura’s hand. Danny hugged Annie and carried her with one arm. Laura huffed and crossed her arms.

“You said you wouldn’t let go,” Laura complained. Danny laughed.

“You said I can hold your hand after I open the door,” Danny answered back. Laura still wasn’t satisfied. She opened her mouth to retort but Danny’s mother interrupted.

“It’s just the two of you today?”

“Yup,” they both answer.

Angie eyed Danny and they smiled.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go eat some pie!”

* * *

 

As expected, no one said a word while they ate. Danny admitted that she missed LaFontaine’s random science lessons and the latest ghost gossip from Mary. Even just Perry’s ramblings about LaFontaine’s manners would have been nice. Danny guessed the awkwardness was back again. She didn’t know how to fix it. What would she say? What would she ask? How would she start the conversation? The rattling of crayons snapped her out of her thoughts. They scattered on the floor. Danny didn’t have the nerve to scold Annie so she helped the little kid pick them up.

“No drawing on the table unless everyone’s finish eating,” Danny reminded. Laura wasn’t finished eating yet, but Danny and Annie were.

“Oh! Don’t worry about me. Go ahead,” Laura said, her mouth still full of pie.

Before Danny could stop her, Annie rushed to her seat and scattered her drawing materials on the table. Danny sighed.

“You shouldn’t have done that. Now she’ll get used to it when you’re around.”

But Laura wasn’t listening. She was preoccupied, watching Annie draw squiggles and circles.

“What’re you drawing there?” Laura asked.

“Dandan,” Annie said as she took the orange crayon and drew straight lines for Danny’s hair.  
“And Annie.”

The little kid showed her work to Laura with a toothy grin except one front tooth was missing.

“Wow, that’s awesome!” Laura said. She was amused by how tall Annie made Danny. Danny could’ve been mistaken as a tree with orange leaves.

Danny set aside her plate and borrowed Annie’s crayons. She asked for Annie’s work so she could add another person into the picture. She doodled real fast and showed the new picture to them. There was an added stick drawing of Laura who was roughly as tall as Annie.

“Hey! This is the second foul you have today,” Laura said.

“I still got three more to go so I’m safe,” Danny answered.

“Well, your drawing of me doesn’t match up to my standards,” Laura huffed.

“I thought stick drawing was the theme of this picture,” Danny retorted.

“I can do better than that,” Laura said as she took a new sheet of paper and began to draw Danny as a ridiculously tall figure that Laura almost drew on the table.

“Oh, it’s on,” Danny said. She also grabbed her own set of crayons and paper.

The two teenagers huddled closer to Annie who was watching them draw. Sometimes they’d stop and ask Annie who drew better. Of course, Annie would always choose Danny’s but Laura didn’t give up. She kept drawing until she drew a decent profile of Danny. Annie was so excited about it that she took the paper and compared it with Danny’s face. The kid adored the drawing and hugged it.

“Can I keep it?” she asked.

“Sure, Annie.” Laura smiled. She looks at Danny and smirked at her to flaunt that she won.

Danny shook her head. It was already ridiculous that they had an impromptu drawing contest. She glanced over the wall clock. It was already 6 PM. How did it go by so quickly? She should remind Laura about it. She didn’t want her getting home so late. It could get dark and cold so fast in this city. Laura followed Danny’s gaze. She stood up.

“I better get going,” Laura said while picking up her plate.

“No worries. I’ll get that,” Danny replied, piling up the plates.

Laura slung her bag on her shoulder while Danny deposited the dishes in the sink.

“Hey, at least let me walk you to the bus stop,” Danny offered.  
“Oh no, no. I’m okay,” Laura answered.  
“Front door, at least?” Danny tried again. This time, Laura nodded.

Danny walked her to the front door, which wasn’t that far away, considering everything was just one big room. Annie had followed after them. She was still clinging to the drawing Laura made.

“Will you be back?” Annie asked so innocently. Laura bent down a little to be on eye level with Annie.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Next Wednesday,” Laura answered. Annie frowned.

“How about this Friday then?” Laura offered. Annie’s face lit up like she was offered a lifetime supply of candy for free.

“But aren’t you busy on a Friday?” Danny asked. Laura stood straight and stared up at Danny.

“Don’t worry. I don’t have much except for music lessons,” Laura answered.

“Okay then, but I have part-time though.”

“All the more reason to come,” Laura said, patting Annie’s head, “Anyway, I should go. I might miss the bus.” Danny nodded and opened the door for Laura.

“But first, I gotta tell you something,” Laura said as she beckoned Danny to lean down.

Laura covered her mouth from Annie’s view like she was about to whisper a secret to Danny. It wasn’t words that Danny received. It was a quick kiss on the cheek. Laura smiled at her then she skipped her way out the door.

“See ya!” she said, waving.

Danny couldn’t utter any words. Her fingers traced where Laura’s lips were and her other hand barely waved at Laura. She stared into the dark street in front of her and it took Annie’s help to snap her back from her trance and close the door.

_Well, shit. She kissed me._

* * *

 

Friday. It's something Laura dreaded and got excited over, but today, she was more excited to hang out with Annie. It had been so long since she played with any kids. She always wanted a younger sibling. It had been so lonely with her dad busy with work and all.

"Hey!" Danny called out to Laura. Laura smiled and waved. Maybe she wasn't that lonely.

Danny dangled the keys above Laura like Danny was making fun of her height again.

"My mom was a little skeptical to give out any keys to anyone besides direct family, but I guess you make the cut," Danny said.

Laura pursed her lips and blinked back the tears. Why was she being so emotional? They were only keys. When did getting keys become such a big gesture to her?

"Hey, are you okay?" Danny asked, her eyes filled with worry.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Laura waved it off.

"Don't worry. Annie's a good kid. Plus my dad's there too," Danny reassured. She dropped the keys on Laura's hands.

"Thanks."

"Anyway, I have to go," Danny looked for her bus, "or I'll be late."

Danny patted Laura's head and kissed her forehead.

"Good luck with your lessons today!" Danny shouted as she ran to catch her bus.

Laura was left there, standing. Her heart racing and her breathing erratic. She looked over her fingers where Danny’s lips first touched her. The memory still sent tingles to her fingertips. She smiled. How lucky she was to be loved by her.

* * *

 

Sure enough when Annie heard the door’s lock click open, she came running for Laura just like she would for Danny.

“Oh, hey!” Laura said, looking unsure if she should be pleased that Annie’s hugging her.

“Laura came!” Annie squealed.

“Of course, I did. I even brought donuts!” Laura lowered the box of donuts she was carrying.

“Yey! Can Daddy have some too?” Annie asked.

“Of course, he can.”

She never met Mr. Lawrence before, but hearing the stories from Danny, he sounded like a pretty cool dad although he could be a little “corny” as Danny had put it.

Annie led her into a room where Mr. Lawrence was staying. He had been reading a book then he looked up and returned to his book.

“So you’re the one Danny has been talking about these days,” Danny’s father said with a grave voice.

“She’s been talking about me?” Laura swallowed. Why was it so tense in this room? Danny’s father flipped a page. He looked up again from his glasses then went back to reading like he was disinterested in Laura.

“Yes, like you’re the morning headline,” he deadpanned. Laura didn’t know what to say. Should she say something witty about that or should she just keep quiet about it?

Danny’s father closed his book and smiled at Laura. Laura’s heart calmed. He wasn’t mad.

“And you’re the best news I’ve ever heard since Annie’s birth,” he added. Laura’s cheeks turned red.

“Um, thanks, I guess, Mr. Lawrence,” Laura said.

“Call me, Ric,” Ric waved it off.

“Or call me Yo’ Daddy, if you prefer.” he winked.

Laura’s eyes widened. She wished she could crawl into anything right now. She turned to Annie who was busy preparing her little dinosaur minions. The little kid wouldn’t be stepping into this situation anytime soon.

“Ric, Ric is good,” she smiled hesitantly.

It was going to be a long night with Ric’s horrible puns and jokes, but it was fun playing with a little kid who loved dinosaurs as much as she did. This was how she pictured her childhood if she could get another chance to rewind life.

* * *

 

“Okay! Now team up in pairs. You’ll go two against two,” Coach Thompson shouted.

Danny was about to run to Elsie’s side but the blonde teamed up with Beth. Danny thought she’d have to partner up with somebody she didn’t know but Farah popped up beside her.

“Oh, we’re gonna kick ass, Lawrence,” Farah said as she rolled her shoulders and poised to fight anyone.

“Hell yeah, we are,” Danny said promptly when she locked eyes with Elsie who was smirking at her.

“You!” Coach Thompson pointed at Danny’s team, “And you!” she pointed at Elsie’s team.

“Show me what you all got,” the coach said as she passed the ball to Farah.

Farah dribbled the ball while she pointed for Danny to move out of Elsie’s defense. Even with Danny’s long strides, Elsie always caught up with her and blocked any chance of Farah passing the ball. And that one time Danny was able to escape Elsie’s defense, Elsie shouted:

“HEY! LAURA’S WATCHING!”

Danny dropped any concentration she had to get the ball from Farah. She glanced to the side of the gym. Nope. She wasn’t there, thank God, but Elsie had already stolen the ball from them and passed it to Beth who was outside the 3-point line. Beth took the shot and it went in. The coach shouted for the next pairs to play.

“Hey, I thought we were gonna kick some ass out there?” Farah asked.

“Sorry,” Danny said. Elsie and Beth approached them.

“Hey, that was a low blow, yo,” Farah stood up against them.

“Sorry, I was a little curious if it works,” Elsie grinned, “And it did.”

“Shut up,” Danny lightly shoved Elsie.

“Well, I wouldn’t have done it if you already told us,” Elsie said.

“Told what?”

“You know…” Beth said.

“Yeah, yeah, okay. We’re dating. Happy?” Danny relented.

“More like happily married,” Farah muttered.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing. Be cool,” Farah said.

“And oh yeah, you looked at the wrong side of the gym,” Elsie pointed out where Laura was staying.

Danny took a sharp breath. Why? Why was she here? Danny was careful not to hint at when the tryouts would be but there she was. Laura was beaming at her and waving like she’s a human banner of “Go Danny! I know you’ll make it to the team.”

“You know it’s rude to not wave back to your only fan,” Farah nudged Danny.

Danny blushed and waved reluctantly back at Laura.

* * *

 

“So how did your tryouts go? It’s already been a week so I’m pretty sure the results are out,” Laura said while taking a part of her pie.

“I made it in. Knew it since Monday,” Danny grinned.

“And you didn’t tell me?” Laura said, appalled.

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“My girlfriend making it into the team sounds like a pretty big deal to me,” Laura pointed out. Danny smiled and played with her food.

“I like the sound of that.”

“Of what?” Laura asked, her voice muffled by mouthful of pie she had.

“Girlfriend,” Danny answered.

“You little nerd.” Laura shook her head.

“ _Your_ little nerd.” Danny laughed.

* * *

 

Danny got off early from her part-time work today. Her boss was in a particularly bad mood today that he didn’t want to get home soon so he stuck around for a while. Danny hoped that he doesn’t scare any customers today. That would be bad for business.

Danny stepped into the house and got no greeting from her favourite sister. She almost forgot that Laura had been here today until she heard voices that said “Potato!” and “Yes, head chef!” Danny headed to her parents’ room and took a peek instead of sauntering into the room.

Annie’s little microwave made a little ting! after she popped a toy frozen tv dinner box in it. Laura was wearing an apron because Annie had insisted that they would be chefs for the day.

“You! Onion!” Annie ordered.

“Right away, head chef!” Laura answered. (Danny smiled at the thought of her girlfriend being so quick to follow someone even smaller than her.)

Laura was pretty impressed that it took her only a while to get that Annie was asking her to faux chop random vegetables. What’s more amusing was that most of the toy vegetables Annie easily came off in halves with a velcro in each half. Laura sliced an onion in half with a little toy knife and dropped it in the pot.

“Good job!” Annie gave Laura a thumbs up.

“Thank you, head chef. But what are we making exactly?” Laura asked.

“Onion soup! For Tatay!” by which Annie referred to her dad.

“I don’t want any green stuff in there,” Ric said, without glancing away from his book.

“No greens,” Annie repeated to Laura.

“What? No greens? But the green stuff is good for you!” Laura said. Annie wiggled her finger in front of Laura.

“No greens,” Annie repeated.

“Yes, head chef,” Laura conceded.

Danny snickered. It was not every day that one would see their girlfriend being told off by a little kid. Watching Annie and Laura interact warmed Danny’s heart. Was this how Laura would interact if they had any kids? Danny imagined coming home to a much older Laura wearing a frilly apron and humming while she stirred tonight’s supper. She imagined her teaching their kid to walk and dance and sing. At this moment, Danny had seen that she wanted to build a home with Laura. Their own little family.

“Hey, you dorks,” Danny greeted as she entered the room. She swooped the two of them in a big hug and kissed each of their foreheads. _Yes, her own little family._

“Can I have some of that you’re cooking?” Danny asked.

“Yes!” Annie and Laura replied.

_Her own home, built with Laura._

* * *

 

“So how’s your sale quota going?” Elsie asked Danny.

“Done. Sold every last one,” Danny said without looking up from her food.

“Nice. Did Laura buy every last one of them?” Farah joked and nudged Danny. Danny's ears turned red. She played around with the rice in her lunch.

“She did, didn’t she?” Elsie said, forcing to get Danny to look up. Danny dropped her spoon and raised her hands in defeat.

“Okay, okay, you got me. She didn’t buy all though,” Danny admitted. Farah fist pumped like she’d won something. Danny guessed that they were betting for this to happen. Elsie sighed.

“I wish someone loved me that much to help me with funding for our team,” Elsie said.

“Hey, Laura just bought them because she’s obsessed with cookies and they were cheap,” Danny reasoned.

“Oh come on, Danny, you gotta accept that there are some things that people do because of love,” Farah said, while forming a heart shape with her hands. Danny opened her mouth for rebuttal but Elsie interrupted her.

“Speaking of love, look who’s coming over to our table.”

Laura approached them with a shy smile, which was quite unusual because she usually smiled like the sun was her birth mother. Danny scooted closer to Farah so she could offer a seat to Laura who took it.

“Hi, guys. Didn’t mean to disturb your lunch or anything. I just needed to tell Danny something,” Laura said.

“No problemo! Go ahead!” Farah encouraged.

Laura looked up to Danny and gestured for her to lean down closer to Laura. Danny hoped that Laura wasn’t going to pull off any unexpected kisses today. Danny wasn’t sure she could survived the sweetness of the gesture and the embarrassment.

“So there’s this winter concert coming up,” Laura whispered, “and I know it’s still a month away but it’s on a Thursday, and I know you have practices and will probably have games on those nights… But I’ll be playing for the choir so… I was hoping you could come at least for that night.”

Laura took a deep breath after saying those words so quickly. She was waiting for Danny’s reply.

“Of course, I’ll come. Anything for my girlfriend,” Danny said as she squeezed Laura’s shoulder.

Laura sighed in relief and smiled. She stood up and gave Danny a peck on her cheek. Laura escaped her once again and left her there, slack-jawed.

“Yo! Ants are raiding your lunch!” Farah shouted.

Danny quickly checked on her food, only to find out that it was still rather antless. It was the same as she left it. She glared at Farah, who was laughing along with everyone.

“Sorry, Danny. You guys are entirely too cute,” Elsie said as she wiped a tear from her eye.

Danny just shook her head, rolled her eyes, and got back to her lunch. But she knew she couldn’t hide the smile cracking her unaffected facade.

_Every little kiss counts._

* * *

 

Annie kept looking back to the front door. She expected that Laura would barge in any minute now. It’s not like Danny was doing the same, but she was. It was the only Friday she had no part-time work, but Laura decided to do her homework and practice on a freaking Friday night. The two sisters sighed at the same time, both of them clearly missing Laura.

“Dandan, where’s Laura?” Annie asked.

“At home,” Danny replied, stretching her arms then resting her chin on her right hand.

“She’s not coming?”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“Studying.”

“Why?”

“For school?”

“But… why?” Annie kept repeating.

“I don’t know either! Jesus, Annie, can you stop asking why? She’s not coming today, okay?” Danny fumed.

Danny was so fed up with the repeated whys. Like she didn’t need any more reminders that she wasn’t spending her perfect Friday with her cute girlfriend. No, Laura Hollis decided to stay at home and study on a Friday night. Danny’s little sister started to sniffle. Her little grubby hands swiped away any tears she had, but she couldn’t contain it any longer. Annie cried and it escalated into wailing. Yeah, like this evening could not get any worse.

“But I wanna see Laura!” Annie cried. Danny sighed and placed Annie on her lap.

“You can’t, Annie. Laura’s busy,” Danny tried to calm Annie down with kisses on her forehead.

“BUT-I-WANT-TO-SEE-LAURA!” Annie screamed. It was so high-pitched that Danny swore her eardrums may have popped at some point.

Danny clenched her jaw; she’s trying not to scold Annie back or it would make the crying worse. She closed her eyes and massaged the bridge of her nose. What to do? What to do?

“Just take her to Laura’s house! I’ll be fine!” their father called out from the room.

“Okay, you heard that, squirt? We’re going to visit Laura,” Danny said.

Annie finally settled down and eventually stopped crying. She flashed a toothy grin and that little front tooth was growing a bit too. Danny sighed, but she still kissed the top of her sister’s head and placed her back in her little seat. Danny wasn’t sure Laura would like a surprise visit so she called her first before doing anything else.

“Hey, Danny!” Laura said over the phone.

“Hey, sorry to disturb you but is it okay if we visit for a while? Annie really wants to see you,” Danny said.

“Oh, um. Sure. I could use a break from practicing anyway.”

“Thanks, and also can you tell me the directions to your house?” Danny asked while she reached for a paper and pen.

“Haha sure!”

Well, at least now, Danny would see what Laura’s world looked like. And damn, she was excited about it.

* * *

 

Laura's house was nothing compared to Danny's town home of a house. It was almost like a mansion made to shoot music videos at. When Danny stepped in, there was a complete wall dedicated to glass windows. One could watch sunrises and sunsets from this breathtaking view. The ceiling was so high Danny wondered if this was how it feels like to be shorter than everybody else. A grand piano was in the centre of the family room and it was next by the fireplace. Annie touched and looked over an expensive-looking vase.

“Kiddo, don’t touch anything,” Danny warned. Annie frowned and instead, stuck close to her older sister.

Laura settled in front of the piano.

“Hey, come in. Don’t worry. My dad’s not home for a couple of days.”

“We could’ve kept you company since your dad won’t be home for a while," Danny commented.

“No, it’s okay. I’ve been alone for so long that I got used to it,” Laura said, looking down at the ivory keys. Noticing the sad smile, Danny patted her head.

“Hey, you got us now,” Danny said.

“Yes!” Annie popped up on Laura’s side, “I love Laura!”

Annie spread her arms and tried to hug Laura but her arms were too short to make a complete hug. Laura laughed, a melody Danny would love to hear for the rest of her life.

“Hey, is it okay for me to hear what you’re practicing or should I wait for the concert?” Danny asked.

“I mean if it’s okay for you to hear an unpolished performance…” Laura trailed off.

“I love anything you play, Laura,” Danny said.

Laura obliged once Annie let go of her. She played a slow piece. Danny could feel the hesitation or maybe Laura was nervous. Her eyes watched Laura’s fingers intently. So did Annie, but Annie was not content watching Laura’s hands playing; she also wanted to join. Annie slammed her little hands on the piano keys. It surprised the two teenagers. Danny looked like she was going to scold Annie for disrupting but Laura touched her hand and shook her head.

“Hey, Annie, do you want me to teach you a few tricks?” Laura suggested. Annie nodded.

Laura taught her the middle do and Laura pointed out some notes. She even got Annie to play “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” by making Annie repeat the same notes she was playing. The little kid showed an aptitude in playing and after a while, she could play the notes using both of her hands. Then Laura added in a little harmony, and she started singing too. Annie was excited to sing as well that it could have been mistaken as shouting instead of singing. Danny wished she could have caught this in tape but her memory would work just as well.

After a few more nursery rhymes, Danny looked over the clock and it was getting late. She figured that they should be getting home soon. She noticed Annie’s eyes were already drooping even if she was still fiddling with the piano.

“Hey, kiddo, I think we gotta go,” Danny said.

“NO!” Annie drew her hand away when Danny tried to pull her away from the piano.

“It’s already late and Mom might be getting worried.”

“NO! NO! NO!” Annie ran away from her and hid behind a house plant.

“Danny, I think she wants to sleep over here. I mean I wouldn’t mind,” Laura said.

“She’s always like this when we go visit over someone else’s house,” Danny explained, “Come on, Annie.”

Annie insisted on running away every time Danny came too close. Annie hid behind a leather couch this time. Danny was about to follow after her when arms wrapped around her waist.

“But what if I wanted you to stay?” Laura rested her head on Danny’s back.

“Then that’ll be a different story.”

“Will you?”

A moment of silence hung, but both of them relished in each other’s warmth. Laura felt Danny take a breath.

“I’ll have to ask my mom first,” Danny sighed. She tried to move away but Laura held her still.

“Laura --”

“Can we just stay like this? Even just for a while?”

Danny placed her hand over Laura’s.

“Sure.”

* * *

 

When Danny put back the phone onto the receiver, the heart became lighter. First, her mother wasn’t mad for going to an impromptu trip to Laura’s house. Second, her mother approved for them to stay over. Third, her mother was bringing their stuff over. (It did make Danny a little guilty for making their mom do stuff like these after work). And finally, her mother said that she was happy because Danny was happy where she was.

“So Annie falls asleep real fast, huh?” Laura said as she descended from the stairs.

“Well, it’s actually a first. She cries most of the time when she sleeps in a house other than ours.”

“So what do we do now?”

“How about watching you play again?” Danny suggested.

They moved towards the piano. Laura sat down while Danny decided to stay standing.

“You know I can take requests,” Laura offered.

“Laura, you can play any random notes and I would still applaud for you.”

Laura took up the challenge and played random notes then chords. Danny was about to clap her hands to follow up her statement but she recognized the sound of those chords from a song.

“[ _It took_](http://thedinocommander.tumblr.com/post/111627124937/februarycharlie-i-take-one-step-away-but-i-find),” she began.

“What?” Laura stopped playing.  
“Just keep playing those same chords you were playing.”  
“Okay then.”

_It took one look_

Laura looked up to check if she’s still playing the right chords. Danny smiled and nodded.

_Then forever lay out in front of me._

Danny remembered the moment she saw a future with Laura. Maybe old and grey, wrinkled hands and sunsets.

_One smile then I died_  
_Only to be revived by you._

Laura chuckled. It was exactly like the first time they met. She fell in love with Laura's smile.

_There I was,_  
_Thought I had everything figured out._  
_It goes to show just how much I know_  
_'Bout the way life plays out._

What was life without Laura? Good, but this was so much better. It was like listening to an old favourite song and hearing for the first time the other voices in harmony with the main vocals. It was like the strings were stringing up words to tug at one's heartstrings.

" _I take one step away_ ," Laura continued singing for Danny who was wrapped up in her thoughts.

"Wait, you know this song?" Danny asked.

"Well, your dad played it a couple of times when I was playing with Annie. And I loved it."

Laura resumed playing the accompaniment to the song. They sang together.

_I take one step away_  
_Then I find myself coming back to you_  
_My one and only_  
_One and only you._

They held their stare until they finished the song. Danny’s gaze fell on Laura’s lips then back to her eyes. Before she knew what was happening, her hand was on Laura’s cheek. Holding breaths and leaning heads. Laura closed her eyes.

_Ding dong!_

Danny jumped away from Laura. A jarring end to an almost kiss. Danny looked at anywhere else but Laura.

_Ding dong!_

“Danny, we better answer the door. It might be your mom,” Laura finally spoke.

She was trailing her fingers on the piano and biting her lower lip. Danny thought for a brief moment if they could just ignore it and get back to what they were about to do, but that would be rude to her mother. Plus, her mom might think they’re doing things they weren’t supposed to be doing. Danny walked to the front door and true enough, it was her mom.

“That took you long enough,” her mom remarked, an eyebrow raised.

“We just put Annie to sleep upstairs,” Danny lied. Her mom didn’t buy it.

“Right. But anyway, here’s your stuff and Annie’s too,” Angie handed her a duffel bag.

“Take good care of your sister and behave, okay? And also I love you.”

“Thanks, mom. I love you too,” Danny said, pulling her mom into a hug.

Danny saw her mother off, then she closed the door. She turned around and Danny almost screamed.

“God, Annie! You scared me!” Danny said, “why are you still up?”

“Bad dream,” Annie frowned. Danny scooped her up and kissed her nose.

“Come on, let’s get to sleep.”

“No!”

“Are you still scared?” Annie nodded.

“How about if --”

“We all go to sleep together?” Laura appeared on her side. Annie raised her hands and said, “Yey!”

They all went upstairs then into Laura’s room and it was the first time Danny had been in Laura’s room. Danny’s origami was neatly arranged on top of Laura’s dresser. There was a keyboard and a study desk by the window. Her bed was packed with stuffed animals and yellow pillows. Danny surveyed how big it was and she was sure that three of them won’t fit or rather the bed was too short for Danny’s comfort.

“Laura, you and Annie can sleep on the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor,” Danny said.

“What? No! I absolutely cannot allow that!”

“No!” Annie added in.

“But we can’t possibly fit there!” Danny pointed at the bed.

“We can try,” Laura said as she jumped on the bed and moved to the side closest to the wall.

Danny lay Annie down on the bed. She sighed then lied down on her side, curled up. They were facing each other with Annie in between. It was cramped but it was okay, maybe not in the morning though because they’d probably have stiff limbs and necks.

“Can you sing me a song?” Annie asked.

Danny and Laura looked at each other like they had the same thought, which they did. They started to sing the song they sang a while ago.

_My one and only you._

* * *

 

Danny knew it would happen. She couldn’t feel her left arm until she finally moved it and ouch, the stiffness would last for a couple of days. But it was a good night’s sleep. Cramped but it was comfortable, warm, and soft like she was hugging a huge pillow. Wait, a huge pillow? Danny opened her eyes to a sight of tangled brown hair but an angelic face. She hadn’t noticed that her right arm was draped around Laura. Laura’s eyebrows furrowed like she was about to wake up. Danny panicked, withdrawing her arm quickly and putting a little distance between them. Except she moved too far away. Laura woke up just in time to see Danny haplessly grab at her sheets and fall to the floor. Laura quickly moved over to the edge of the bed.

“Oh my gosh, Danny, are you okay?” Laura asked. Danny massaged her head to check for any bumps. Luckily, none.

“I guess so,” she answered Laura.

Laura smiled as she rested her chin on her folded arms. Danny couldn’t resist fixing Laura’s hair, the strands sticking out. She wanted to have a reason to touch her and Laura didn’t mind. She slid her fingers through Laura’s hair then down, finally holding her cheeks. They bumped foreheads and looked straight into each other’s eyes. Laura’s eyes, she could get lost in them like in a forest thick with trunks of tall trees and a laughter echoing, beckoning her. But Laura closed her eyes. Danny wondered if she was enjoying her touch or if it was another invitation. She tilted her head and...

“DANDAN!” Annie burst into the room. Now Danny would never know.

The two separated immediately, Danny crawling away and Laura sitting up. Both of them flustered. Annie stepped between Danny’s legs and wrapped her short arms around her neck. The little kid also bumped her forehead on Danny’s, paralleling the scene a while ago.

“I want kiss too!” Annie demanded. Danny obliged, hugging the giggling little kid and peppering her with kisses.

Everything was giggles and kisses until Danny’s stomach rumbled so loud that it demanded silence in the room.

“Oh my gosh! I’m a terrible host. I should be making you some breakfast!” Laura said as she jumped out of her bed.

“It’s okay. Just cereal would be fine,” Danny said.

“No! Now go get washed up or something as I prepare something okay?” Laura rushed out of the room.

* * *

 

Danny, carrying Annie in her arms, went downstairs and smelled the sweet scent of breakfast wafting in the air. She asked Annie to stay quiet as she placed her on a chair. Danny sneaked behind Laura who was busy flipping pancakes. She snaked her arms around Laura’s waist. Laura almost dropped the pan she was holding.

“Hey! Don’t creep up on me like that!” Laura said.

“Sorry,” Danny said, kissing the top of Laura’s head. Then her ear. Laura giggled. Then her cheek. Laura turned her head to finally meet Danny’s lips but she whipped her head at the last second, resulting in Danny kissing her cheek again.

“Sorry, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet,” Laura said. Danny burst out laughing.

“Hey! I just want it to be perfect, okay?” Laura defended herself.

“Okay, okay,” Danny said as she rested her chin on top of Laura’s head.

“Just don’t let the pancakes burn.”

“Crap!”

* * *

 

People filed into the gym while the players were still warming up with passes and shots. It was the first game of the season. Danny would be playing in the first five since she was the best chance to take first possession of the ball.

"Danny!" Elsie called out.

She passed the ball to Danny who did a quick layup. Danny's eye caught sight of Laura and her dad. Suddenly, her stomach dropped. She didn't need any more sources of nervous energy. Winning the game was just enough to set her nerves. Having Laura watch her play made it worse; she hoped she wouldn't screw up. Having the Mr. Hollis in his business suit coming to watch with his daughter made her blood run cold. The warm up may not have been doing its intended job on her body. A pat on her back jolted her, her body stiffer than before.

"Hey, it's gonna be fine," Elsie said.

"Yeah, chillax, dude," Farah said, "you're gonna be fine!"

"At least the enemy doesn't know she's your Achilles' heel," Beth reminded her of their tryouts. Elsie laughed.

Danny sure hoped that everything would be fine.

* * *

 

And everything went fine from start to finish. It was a win of 56-49 with Elsie and Beth making most of the shots. Danny did most of the rebounds, which made it possible for the team to score more. When the game was finally over and the crowd were allowed to exit the gym, the first thing Laura did was to run to Danny and hug her. Unfortunately, Danny didn’t return the hug.

“Laura! Stop hugging me! I’m sweaty and smelly,” Danny said.

“You are. Kinda,” Laura pulled herself away from Danny, “But anyway, congratulations.”

“Thanks.”

“Congratulations,” said Laura’s father who approached. He stood out in the crowd of people because of his perfect posture and suit.

“Thank you,” said Danny timidly.

“I am Laura’s father. You can call me Henry,” Henry offered his hand, “It’s finally nice to meet you, Danny.”

Danny stared at Henry’s hand and she wasn’t sure if the number of times Danny had to wipe her hands on her shorts would be good enough for her to shake his hand. She decided to take it. Henry had a firm grip or maybe too strong for a handshake. Danny wondered if this meant something.

“It’s nice to meet you too, um, Henry.” Henry let go of Danny’s hand.

“It’s good to finally put a face on the name. Laura’s been ‘Danny this and Danny that’ and I was getting worried. I heard that you were a six-foot-two basketball player and I immediately thought of a jerk jock, but then you turned out to be so much more. And I also remembered that Laura mentioned you as a ‘big softie who made her origami.' I guess I can expect you to take care of my daughter,” Henry said. Danny was flabbergasted. It was too big of a compliment especially coming from Laura’s dad.

“Thank you.” It didn’t even encompass how Danny was feeling.

Henry’s phone started ringing.

“Excuse me, I have to take this call,” said Henry, moving away. Laura nudged Danny.

“I guess I’m not the only Hollis who likes you.”

“You like me?” Danny teased.

“Yes, even if you’re sweaty and smelly,” Laura crinkled her nose. Danny laughed.

_How lucky she was to be loved by her._

 


	5. The Greatest Fan of Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music concerts, school and birthday shenanigans, Christmas, basketball, and Valentine's.

Crumpled coloured paper on the floor. Shirts, jeans and dresses on the bed. Nothing fit quite right. It was already the sixth time Danny folded a paper rose but she still wasn’t satisfied with it. More like she wasn’t sure if Laura liked roses. Danny flipped a page on her origami book. Maybe Laura liked lilies. She thought L for Laura and lilies. It was a great alliteration too. Annie peeked into their room.

“You know, I can see you,” Danny said, still deciding whether lilies would be good enough or the carambola flowers on the next page.

Annie entered, giggling. She thought that the origami was for her. She picked the ones Danny finished folding and gathered them up like a bouquet.

“Kiddo, put them back down. They’re not for you,” Danny said, folding a purple lily.

“Laura?” Annie asked. Danny’s lips curved up.

“Yes.”

“No for Annie?”

“C’mere,” said Danny.

Annie tried not to step on any other origami scattered on the floor. She stepped in between Danny’s crossed legs and sat there. Danny fixed Annie’s curly hair then tucked the purple lily behind her ear.

“Flower princess,” Danny said. She kissed Annie’s forehead. The little kid giggled.

Somehow, that calmed her down. Her thoughts had been messed up by what attire to wear tomorrow night and what she should get for Laura. Now she knew. Just something simple but not too casual like shirt and jeans. Maybe a black dress would do. As for the paper flowers, Danny decided that mixing them up wouldn’t be too bad just as Annie had done with it.

“Thanks, Annie!” Danny exclaimed, showering Annie with kisses. The kid didn’t know why her older sister was being too sweet today but she enjoyed the attention.

* * *

 

Danny swore that she wasn’t eager to see Laura perform, maybe nervous, but here she was, an hour early before the concert. No one was in the Rozsa Centre. Not even the volunteers who’d handle the reception for the guests. It was just plain quiet halls and empty black chairs. Danny wondered if she was in the wrong place. There were no indications of concerts being held tonight. No posters or anything. But then Danny saw Laura exiting the washroom.

“Hey!” Danny called out as she walked towards Laura.

Laura was so distraught that she didn’t hear Danny. She was wringing her hands. When Danny finally caught up to her girlfriend, she noticed how pale Laura was and how her eyes looked like she was staring into the void.

“Hey, are you okay?” Danny asked. Laura jumped when Danny touched her shoulder.

“Oh, uh, hey!” Laura tried to smile. “You’re early.”

"Better than late." said Danny, noticing that Laura couldn't keep her gaze focused on one thing or on her.

"Hey," Danny said, taking Laura's face into her hands.

"You'll be okay. Hey, hey, breathe." She put their foreheads together. They both closed their eyes and matched the rhythm of their breathing.

"Better?"

"Better," Laura's smile was back. "But what if I mess up?"

"You won't," Danny reassured but Laura wasn't convinced.

"But if you do," Danny continued, "look at me and play like how you would for me."

"I always make mistakes when I play for you."

"But you're calm and relaxed and sometimes you even laugh," Danny reminded. Laura smiled.

Danny tucked Laura's hair behind her ear then slipped the pink lily Danny folded for her.

"For the success of your performance," Danny explained. She parted Laura's hair then kissed her forehead. Laura turned red.

"For good luck," Danny smiled. Her cheeks were also burning red. Laura hugged Danny.

 

"Thank you."

* * *

 

Danny didn't know how she would clap when the choir came on stage. She held the camcorder Laura's dad had given her. Henry couldn't be here because of some important business matters, but Danny heard that Henry never missed a performance before. It was only tonight that he couldn't wiggle his way out. Laura must've been upset by that too.

Laura looked even smaller on stage, but more mature, like the stage was built for her, the grand piano was made for her. Danny wondered if she, too, was bound to meet her. Laura looked at her and smiled before she started playing the first note.

 

Fate or not, Danny’s glad Laura chose her.

* * *

 

During the intermission, Danny wandered around for a while. Many of the parents were all lounging about. Not too many students watched the concert. Danny wished there was a concession stand at least. She was getting hungry and tired. Well, she might as well just flop down on a comfy black chair while she waited to give the bouquet to Laura. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. Folding origami, deciding what to wear and getting high strung over this concert took all the sleep she needed. And who thought that practicing basketball at 6 in the morning to make up for tonight was a good idea? Danny thought it would help. Now, she’s just tired. Her eyes were drooping and every time she blinked, it was an invitation to sleep. Until someone jumped onto her lap.

“Hey!” Laura squealed. “How did I do?”

“Perfect,” Danny said sleepily.

“You always say that,” Laura frowned.

“Doesn’t make it less true,” Danny replied.

Laura moved from Danny’s lap and squished herself beside Danny. Danny wrapped an arm around her shoulder then kissed Laura soundly on the forehead. Laura blushed and didn’t know what to do except stare at the wooden floor and everyone’s shoes. Every pair was going back into the Eckhardt-Gramatté Hall.

“Danny, I think --”

Danny’s head dropped on Laura’s as Danny dozed off. Laura smiled because Danny was softly snoring. She slipped her arm around Danny’s waist and settled into a more comfortable position around Danny’s arm. Laura took the bouquet of mixed paper flowers from Danny’s hand and smiled up to Danny.

 

“Thank you,” Laura whispered and kissed her cheek.

 

* * *

The phone rang when Danny was busy cutting coupons from the newspaper this morning. She could’ve ignored it but something was telling her that she should answer it. She walked towards the phone with her scissors and the newspaper still in hand. She put them down so she could pick up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Danny! You’ve got to come here right now! For some reason, there’s a sale on coconuts,” Laura said over the phone.

“On it. I’ll be there in a few,” Danny said quickly.

 

She immediately hung up, grabbed her bag and jacket, yelled that there’s a sale before she ran out of the door.

* * *

 

It was a Saturday afternoon. Why was the grocery so crowded with people? And it’s still two weeks before Christmas. No reason to panic buy for the holidays. Sundays were restock-your-pantry days. Unless there were more sales than what Laura told Danny about. Danny saw a hand waving in a crowd of heads. She pushed through the crowd and found Laura with a cart. It was filled with coconuts, different kinds of sugar and flour.

“Are you seriously gonna buy all that for next Wednesday?” Danny asked.

“No, I thought maybe since it’s Annie’s birthday next week… You know,” Laura answered.

“Good call,” Danny smiled. Danny offered to push the cart for Laura.

“Maybe we should separate so we can get things quicker before they run out,” Laura suggested. Danny shook her head and locked arms with Laura.

“I’m not losing you,” Danny said.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Laura huffed.

“I just don’t want my cute girlfriend to be kidnapped over a sale in a grocery store,” Danny continued.

“Plus we can always take it slow. No rush. We already got the coconuts,” Danny added.

Laura gently headbutted Danny’s shoulder to show how much she’s frustrated and at the same time endeared by Danny’s words.

Danny and Laura breezed through the meat section and got hotdogs for the party. Danny wasn’t particularly sure what her mother would have wanted to prepare but she also took in some ground meat for spaghetti. When they passed by where the cookies were, Laura tried to slip packages into the cart. Danny tried to put them back but somehow, Laura was quicker in putting more packages than she could take out. Finally, Danny had to ask her to put them all back because she couldn’t afford all of those cookies. Danny allowed only one package. Laura sighed and thought that if she can’t have them all then she couldn’t betray the others and buy only one. Danny picked up some marshmallows then they moved on to get some pasta. And for some reason, they just ended up in the appliance section of this big grocery store.

“If you had a place of your own, what would be the first thing you’d buy from here?” Laura asked. Danny thought for a moment.

“Probably a rice cooker, if there’s already a microwave and a refrigerator that come with the place,” Danny replied. “You?”

“Coffee maker. Apparently, it’s a handy thing to have for college,” Laura said. A moment of silence passed.

“Seriously, a rice cooker? You can just cook rice in a pot or maybe a coffee maker,” Laura remarked.

“At least you can bake cakes in a rice cooker,” Danny retorted.

“Mug cakes in a microwave.”

“But I don’t want mug cakes! I want big round cakes,” Danny said. Laura sighed.

“We can’t have both, Danny.”

“We?” Danny mused.

“I-uh…” Laura’s tongue-tied. Her cheeks felt warmer.

“Fine, your coffee maker comes first then the rice cooker,” Danny conceded. Laura leaned her head on Danny’s shoulder and gripped her arm tighter.

“You’re the best,” Laura whispered.

“I know but I’m not paying for all of these chocolates and cookies,” Danny replied. Laura slapped her shoulder.

 

They both laughed as they headed for the checkout counters.

* * *

 

It had been a while since Danny had a real party in the house. Ever since her dad’s accident, her mom didn’t invite as many people as she used to. But today was different. It was Annie’s third birthday and they didn’t want her to feel like birthdays shouldn’t be celebrated. Laura had arrived earlier to help with the decorations and she even helped make a dinosaur cake for Annie who was completely ecstatic about it.

“Lemme see! Lemme see!” Annie squealed as she jumped up and down. Danny hoisted her up so she could see the kitchen counter.

“Wow!” Annie said as she swiped some icing with her finger.

“Annie!” But it was too late. Annie had already put her finger in her mouth but the glee in her eyes and the hum of satisfaction was worth it.

“Is it good?” Laura asked, still holding a piping bag.

“Yes!” Annie exclaimed.

“Good to know.” Laura smiled.

Danny set Annie down before she could ruin the cake any further.

“But I want more cake!” Annie complained.

“You’ll have cake later, kiddo,” Danny patted her head.

Annie frowned and ran away to her mother. Finally left alone, Danny wrapped her arms around Laura’s waist.

“Thank you for this,” Danny whispered. Laura wiped some icing on Danny’s nose.

“I was trying to be sweet, Laura,” Danny said.

“Well, now you’re even sweeter,” Laura giggled. Danny couldn’t resist kissing her on the cheek and passing on the icing.

Laura smudged some more icing on Danny’s cheek. The two laughed and played with the icing when Danny’s mom caught them and scolded them for ruining the cake.

 

It was worth it.

* * *

 

While Danny was busy helping with cooking the last few dishes for Annie’s birthday, Laura was tasked to look after Annie. The little kid dragged her around the house unlike those Friday nights when they just played in the room where Danny’s father had stayed. Annie pulled Laura into their bedroom and Laura noticed the marks on the doorway. They were lines, names, and ages. There was one where that was almost at the same height as Laura. It was labelled Danny at the age of eleven. Then another line slightly higher with the label Joric, 14. Laura traced the lines down with her fingers. It ended with Danny at the age of three. Laura smiled and called Annie. The little kid approached with a stuffed T-rex in her arms. Laura looked around for a pen then grabbed the one lying on the floor.

“Come here, Annie. And stand straight here,” Laura said. Annie did as she was told.

Laura marked the doorway with a line and wrote Annie’s name and her age. It was lower than the one Danny had. Laura chuckled.

“What are you kids doing here?” Danny asked, leaning on the door frame.

“I’m not a kid!” Laura frowned.

“I’m not a kid!” Annie echoed. Danny laughed.

Danny noticed the new mark on the door frame and she smiled. She missed racing to this very door just to see how much she needed to finally reach Joric’s height. Danny guessed that she must be taller than him now if he was around.

“I almost forgot about this,” Danny said.

“You’re forgetting a lot of things. Just like the alarm on the oven,” Laura pointed out.

“Shit!”

 

Danny ran to the kitchen before it could turn into a complete disaster.

 

* * *

After the candles were blown and all the guests had eaten, all the kids were playing and running around the living room and the dining room. Danny and Laura were the only teenagers in the house.

“I should’ve invited the others,” Danny said.

“Then for today, let’s be kids,” Laura smiled.

Laura stood up and pulled Danny towards the group of kids who were deciding which game to play next. Laura asked Annie if they could join and Annie introduced them to the other kids. Once that was done, one boy suggested to play tag. The others seemed up for it and they all looked up to the teenagers who would be it. Even Laura looked up to Danny like she was the only teenager around here.

“You’re it,” Laura said. Danny smirked.

“Well, you better run real fast. Now,” Danny said.

The squealing and shouting began. The kids spread out but Danny set her eyes on Laura. She thought of taking out the kids from largest to smallest. Laura, knowing that she couldn’t outrun Danny,  tried to crawl under the table in the off chance that Danny might hit her head to buy Laura some time to get away. Although it didn’t work. Danny chased her under the table and caught her in a hug. Laura laughed and struggled to break free but Danny held her in a bear hug.

“You’re not getting away from me,” Danny declared.

“Okay, okay! I know! I’m it!” Laura squealed, “Now, let go!”

“No!” Danny protested. 

Laura turned around and gave Danny a quick peck on the lips. It turned Danny’s arms into jelly or she herself could have melted into goo. Danny watched Laura crawl away, laughing and declaring she was it. Danny stayed under the table for a good thirty seconds. She smiled and thought: 

_I am in love with this absolute dork._

* * *

 

December 25. -12 degrees Celsius with windchill. 10 centimetres of snow. It was a perfect weather to snuggle up at home. Laura had visited Danny in the afternoon so they could watch Frozen since Danny and Annie didn’t have a chance to watch it yet. Laura was shocked since it was the Disney movie of Annie’s generation and she should watch it as an important milestone in her childhood. Or maybe something she could remember her childhood by. The three snuggled together under one duvet. Danny was in the middle since Laura and Annie were trying to compete for Danny’s attention or rather her warmth since she was the biggest of them all. 

After the movie, Danny now thought how it was such a bad idea for Annie to watch Frozen on this day. It wasn’t only because of the repeated singing of “Let It Go” but it’s also because of Annie wanting to build a snowman so badly. Danny just wanted to lay around during Christmas day and stay warm, but, no, Laura had to jump into the bandwagon of building snowpeople. Danny groaned but she conceded. How could she refuse these two? She dressed up Annie for the weather, wrapped her with a scarf and pulled down a little pink toque on her head. It took Danny five minutes to get Annie’s boots on because she kept on singing and swinging her feet.

They went out and found a field in the neighbourhood already filled with snow. Some kids were trying building snowpeople while the others were tobogganning down the slope. Annie already scooped up some snow and gave it to Danny. Danny realized that it was a long time ago that she had built a snowperson. She tried to compact the snow but it was still fresh and it was hard to keep it together. She looked at Laura to check if she was helping with the building but Laura had the same problem. The snow crumbled in her hands and the two didn’t know how to break it down for Annie that they couldn’t build a snowman today. Or admit that they didn’t know how. Danny knelt down to Annie’s eye level.

“Annie,” she started, “I don’t think -- ACK!” A cold shiver went down in her back. Danny turned around and found Laura laughing.

“Laura!” Danny shouted.

She scooped up some snow, pressed it first before she threw it at Laura. Laura shielded herself with her arms. Laura tried to run away and Danny chased after her. Annie, giggling, watched them, running in circles until Danny caught up and they both fell onto the snow. Annie followed after them and dropped on Danny’s stomach. Danny wrapped her arms around both of them. The three of them just lay there, watching the snow fall.

“I missed this,” Laura spoke up, “Playing in the snow. I feel like eight again.”

“Me too,” Danny said.

“I wish I could go back to those times, my mom greeting us with hot chocolate after my dad and I would play outside,” Laura said. Knowing that this was the first time Laura ever mentioned her mother, Danny stayed quiet to let Laura continue talking.

“Now he barely has time to spend the holiday with me. Sometimes I get more worried that he’s not getting any rest. He’s been like this ever since Mom passed away,” Laura continued.

Danny pulled Laura closer and entwined her fingers with Laura’s.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could say something, but...” Danny said. Laura shook her head.

“No need. Just being with you is enough. I don’t have to celebrate Christmas alone,” Laura said.

“Well,” Danny tried to sit up, “we’ll have to go soon or we’ll freeze to death.”

 

“Let’s get that hot chocolate when we get home.”

* * *

 

“I think my brain has melted,” Laura said as she lay her head on the table.

“Why do exams have to exist?” she mumbled. 

She looked across the table and found Danny vigorously studying for her Math exam. Laura watched Danny scribble quickly and how her majestic hair swayed every time Danny took a look over her textbook. She adored the way her eyebrows furrowed followed by a confident smirk, which Laura guessed that Danny must have found the right answer. Laura couldn’t take her eyes away from her lips. She remembered that brief moment when she decided that the best way to distract Danny was to kiss her, although Laura imagined their first kiss was more intimate than that. Laura sighed. How she wished Danny would finally give up on studying and kiss her.

“Do you want to take a break?” Danny asked as she put down her pencil.

“I’ve been taking a break if you haven’t noticed,” Laura replied. Danny chuckled. What does that even mean?

Danny stretched her arms and Laura silently thanked all the forces that led Danny to wear a tank top today. Danny stood up and made her way to Laura’s kitchen.

“Do you want anything to drink? Hot cocoa?” Danny asked.

“Yes, please,” Laura chimed.

As Laura waited for her cup of cocoa, she attempted to get back to studying. She looked over her notes on heat capacity and the hydrological cycle. She tried to read it but somehow, she kept thinking about Danny’s lips and her damn shoulders. No, she should try focusing. Maybe memorizing the parts of a plant would be a great start. Laura didn’t even finish reading one bullet point about flowers and she was already thinking about how she wants to tangle her fingers in Danny’s hair. How could she ever find the focus and motivation to study? It didn’t help that she was on the brink of failure and if she flunks this exam, she’s doomed to repeat this course. 

Danny kissed the top of Laura’s head before setting down a cup of cocoa in front of her. Danny settled on a seat beside her.

“Need any help?” Danny offered.

“Well, it would help if you would kiss -- I mean quiz me on this,” Laura said quickly. “Quiz me. Ask me questions.”

Laura hoped that Danny didn’t notice her slip but she saw Danny’s lips curve up and she just knew that she was screwed.

“You’re not the only one who’s been thinking about that all day,” Danny confessed.

Laura felt a sense of relief wash over but her heartbeat quickened its pace. She knew what was going to happen next. Her gaze dropped on Danny’s lips. Danny tucked Laura’s hair behind her ear then held her face. Danny leaned in, her breath ghosting on her lips.

“Where does gas exchange occur?” Danny pulled back.

“Danny…” Laura groaned.

“You might forget what you studied for,” Danny said.

“Lungs?” Laura guessed. Danny shook her head.

“Alveoli,” said Danny, leaning in again and finally kissing Laura. 

Laura tangled her fingers in Danny’s hair and pulled her closer. She could feel tiny fireworks exploding in her head like the sensation she felt every time she ate chocolate after a rough day. Laura pulled away. Any more than that, she’d die of pure happiness. And lack of air.

“Funny how alveoli sounds almost like ‘I love ya!’,” Danny smiled like a goof.

“You tried,” said Laura, shaking her head.

“Do I get a gold star?” Danny said, wiggling her eyebrows.

 

Laura pulled Danny close and kissed her.

* * *

 

The last two minutes into the game and they were losing 56-51. With Elsie injured in the first few minutes of the fourth quarter, their team couldn’t get into full offense. She was the only one who could get past her guard and find an open spot for Beth to take a three-point shot. Whatever they do now, they should be able to make a shot without letting the enemy get any more points. 

They were in possession of the ball. Farah was handling it and was trying to direct Beth to an open spot but someone was constantly guarding her wherever she went. Farah created space between her and her guard. Another teammate, Shane, called out to her. Farah passed the ball to Shane who tried to drive into the basket but she passed it outside to Beth instead. Beth shot for three points. It hit the rim, but thankfully, it went in. Danny muttered a “yes” under her breath, but she still felt uneasy. Her heart was beating so fast and the pressure was suffocating. She glanced to the bleachers and saw Laura waving at her and shouting. Maybe that was all she needed. Or not. She needed to focus. The last thing she wanted was to be distracted by Laura in her jersey. 

So far, the opposing team had been passing the ball around and wasting time. They haven’t made any attempts to shoot but that doesn’t mean Danny and the others couldn’t be aggressive. The enemy made an overhead pass and Farah successfully intercepted it. She went for a fast break and a lay-up. The ball jumped around the rim and Danny tipped it back into the basket. Now they’re tied. All they had to do was make another shot and survive the last minute left.

The ball was now in the enemy’s possession. They used the same play, passing the ball around like there’s no pressure. Or maybe there was but Danny just couldn’t see it. One of them drove to the basket. The ball bounced down from the board. The opponent recovered it then attempted for another shot. Danny blocked the shot but before she could even think of a small victory in her head, she heard the shrilling sound of a whistle. Apparently, it was a foul. Danny cursed in her head and hoped that none of the shots would go in, but her wishes weren’t strong enough. The player’s form was perfect and shooting those free throws were almost nothing to them. Their coach called for a time out.

Danny could feel the frustration vibes from Coach Thompson. She could probably kill Danny with a glare or a few words but the coach had a different plan in mind. She instructed them to foul the enemy so that they could buy more time, but she warned them to use that accordingly because even though the time was stopped for the free throws, it could easily widen the gap in the scores. But this was their best chance to take possession of the ball in case that the shot didn’t go in.

“Time will only be your friend if you have the ball so get the ball and make it count,” the coach said before the sound signalled the end of the timeout.

Farah tossed the ball in bound to Shane. One of the opponents were already pressuring them, but they managed to slip past the half court line. Shane passed it to Farah who went in past the three-point line then passed it out again to Danny. Danny ran around and passed it back to Shane. One of their teammates screened the opponent so Shane could move more. Then she passed it onto Beth who again attempted a three-point shot, but this time, it wasn’t so lucky. The ball hit the rim and bounced out of the hoop. Danny tried to reach for it but the enemy got it first. They passed it to number 11, perfect form player. They handled the ball really well. If Farah wasn’t fast and attentive enough, they could drive to the basket with no problem. There it was again. That ‘we’re going to waste your time’ play. The passing around was getting on Danny’s nerves; she glanced back to the crowd. Laura was crossing her fingers. 11 was now handling the ball. There was no way they’d be fouling 11. They’re good with free throws and it was a likely chance that the score gap might be wider because of them. 11 passed it to another teammate who made a jump shot. Danny’s heart skipped a beat when it bounced on the rim, but then it bounced out. She tried jumping for it and again, the enemy swiped it. They took out the ball again and passed it to 11. Should they do what their coach asked for? Still none of them made a move to foul anyone. The enemy were making close passes and screens. One of them made a mistake of passing overhead again. Danny caught it and ran.

Her heart was thumping and blood was rushing. This was it. All she needed was to bring the ball back home. Somebody else was running beside her but she couldn’t care. She needed this fast break. She needed this lay-up to count. At least for a tie. Her opponent was running ahead of her. Danny hesitated for a bit and now she wasn’t so sure if she could make the ball go in. She saw Farah at the other side. Maybe she could pass it to her, but Danny passed it too high. It went over Farah and the enemy grabbed it.

How could someone fuck up so bad that there was no time left to fix it? That was exactly the question that ran through Danny’s head when the buzzer sounded. The game was finished and they lost because of her. Their coach could barely talk, heck, she wouldn’t even look at Danny. Farah patted Danny on the back and said:

“It’s okay, Danny.”

 

_No, it wasn’t okay._

 

Danny headed straight for their locker room. She needed to get away from this. She immediately changed her clothes like her jersey was something she didn’t want to be associated with. She shoved her clothes and her shoes, zipped up her duffel bag, and stormed out. Laura was waiting for her there. Danny ran up to her, dropped her bag, and hugged Laura.

“You know, it’s okay to cry,” Laura said as she returned the hug.

“I’m sorry,” Danny said quietly.

“It’s okay,” Laura whispered, running her hand on Danny’s back to soothe her.

 

Danny held her until maybe she was finally feeling okay.

* * *

February 14. -10 degrees. The sky was starless, much to Danny’s disappointment, but she always had an alternative if ever it turned out to be this way. It was her first time taking Laura out on a real actual date, not like hanging out in each other’s houses. It was a special day. It was their first Valentine’s together. They may not be dressed for the occasion but they were dressed for the weather.

Danny was walking so fast that her strides could almost be compared to those of a giraffe. Laura tried to keep up with her but with her small stature, she might as well jog to catch up. Well, this is not the date that Laura had expected. She thought that maybe Danny might be more considerate of her. Especially since the ice on the pavement could be a literal threat against her life.

“Danny!” she called out. Danny stopped in her tracks and turned to look at her.

“You know, tiny things matter. Like waiting for your date to catch up to you. Tiny people matter, Danny.” Laura said as she tried to catch some breath.

“You know. Tiny people. Me.” she pointed to herself.

“Sorry, Laura. I guess I was too excited. I wanted to show you something.” Danny said, smiling.

“What is it?”

“You’ll see,” said Danny, taking Laura’s hand.

“This way you can just tug at me to tell me if I’m too fast,” Danny suggested.

“This way’s better,” Laura said as she intertwined their fingers.

Danny slowed down her pace so it didn’t feel like she was dragging Laura. But she couldn’t just wait. She was excited to see Laura’s reaction after she would see this. They made it to the top of the hill. The wind was biting at their cheeks but the hike up made them feel warm.

“I know this can’t rival with a starry night sky,” Danny started, but she saw Laura, slack-jawed at the view.

A systematic chaos of lights. City lights. There weren’t many variations to the colours. Maybe orange, sometimes yellow or white. Maybe one could see the neon pink colours from the distance. It was a breath-taking view. It was like humanity was trying to reflect the majesty of the sky.

“Danny, it’s beautiful,” said Laura, her eyes tearing up. Danny pulled out a bouquet of paper roses and presented it to Laura.

“I know roses are cliché --”

“They’re beautiful, thank you,” Laura gasped.

“And it’s not cliché since I’ve never gotten any paper roses before.” Laura added.

Danny smiled. She laid a mat on the ground so they could sit and continue enjoying the view. Danny pulled out a thermos from her backpack and offered some hot chocolate to Laura. Laura took it gratefully since the air was more chilly up on the hill. After taking a sip, Laura took out a box from her pocket. She gave the gift to Danny.

“I was supposed to give it for Christmas but I didn’t want to give you anything that was half-hearted,” Laura explained while Danny unwrapped it.

“Laura, I can’t take this,” Danny said as she took the green iPod shuffle in her hands.

Laura scoffed and helped her with plugging the earphones. Laura pressed play. It must be a coincidence since the first song that play was their song played purely in piano. Danny’s eyes began to water. It was too beautiful. Not only did Laura buy her something expensive, but she also put in songs into it. Not just any songs. Piano performed by Laura. This was everything Danny would never have expected to have. Danny started sobbing and she couldn’t stop.

“Don’t you like it?” Laura asked.

“The problem is,” Danny took a breath, “I like it too much.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, you little nerd,” Laura snuggled closer to Danny.

“Your little nerd,” Danny corrected.

 

“I love you, you know that right?”

“I love you too, my little nerd.”

  



	6. If the Wind Played Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny's birthday and a celebration of summer. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spot two HP movie references. :) Hehehe

Danny was staring at the clock. She watched the second hand move as it dictated the passage of time. It was 2 minutes until midnight. Two hours before her shift ended, but it would be April 18, her birthday. She’d be 19, hypothetically. She really didn’t like thinking about birthdays. Sure, her past birthdays were fun but still... It reminded her of her birth mother. Where was she? Danny hoped she was doing okay. Was she with her birth father or were they separated too? Danny shook her head to dispel these thoughts she had. Maybe it was the effect of aging that made her into this. Inquisitive and perhaps, hopeful. Now that she was older, maybe she could find at least her birth mother. Danny sighed. She drew imaginary circles and sticks on the counter. She glanced up to the clock. 12:00.

“Make a wish, Danny,” she whispered. She closed her eyes and took a breath. Then she blew on the counter top.

****_A good day._

* * *

 

April 18. 9:00AM.

Someone was trying to pry Danny’s eyes open.

“Dandan, wake up!” Annie shouted.

“Annie…” Danny groaned.

She rolled over and pulled the blanket over her head. She seriously wanted that extra hour of sleep, but Annie wouldn’t relent and jumped on Danny.

“DANDAN!” Annie shouted again.

“Okay, okay, I’m up!” Danny said as she sat up. She caught Annie in a hug.

“Okay, squirt. You better have a good reason for waking me up.”

Annie wiggled her way out of Danny’s arms and slipped out of the bed. The little kid tried to drag her six-foot-two sister out of bed, but the latter still didn’t want to leave the warm comfort of the bed.

“DANDAN!” Annie yelled in her high-pitched voice. “Let’s go!”

“All right, all right.” Danny said. Any more shouting could damage her ears.

Danny threw off the blanket and let her sister pull her out the door. She rubbed the sleep off her eyes and she yawned. Danny was scratching her stomach when she saw everyone: Laura, Angie, Laf, Perry, Mary, Elsie, Farah and Erica, in the kitchen.

“Happy birthday!” everyone shouted. The party poppers went off.

Danny froze in her spot. Was she dreaming? She rubbed her eyes again then pinched her hand to check if she was awake. Yup, she’s definitely awake. And exposed to everyone in her puppy print pajamas. Danny blushed. She wanted to run away to the bathroom and at least fix herself up. Her hair would have been a lion’s mane mess of a hair. Laura approached her and took her hand. That was when she knew that she couldn’t go anywhere now.

“I, uh,” Danny looked down to Laura then to everyone.

“Thank you,” Danny said. She gave a tight-lipped smile. An awkward silence grew heavy in the room but a loud stomach rumble broke it.

“Sorry, yo. I tried, yo, I tried,” Farah blurted out. Everyone laughed.

“Well, you can go start eating,” Angie offered. She moved towards Danny, who hugged her.

“Happy birthday, Danny,” Angie whispered.

“Thanks, Mom.” Danny pulled away.

“How about you wash up and get ready before you eat?”

“Great idea.” Danny returned to her room to get some clothes.

“Oh, and Danny! Take your sister with you. She hasn’t taken a bath either!” Angie added.

“On it,” Danny replied. She walked out the door with her and Annie’s change of clothes.

“Annie, you go on ahead,” Danny instructed.

The little kid ran into the bathroom. Danny pulled Laura before she could join everyone. She observed everyone’s movements and for now, their attention was solely on food.

“Was this your idea?” Danny asked. Laura nodded.

“Thank you,” Danny said as she leaned in for a kiss, but Laura avoided her. Danny frowned.

“I was saving that for later,” Laura explained.

“Or you’re just saying that because I just woke up and haven’t brushed my teeth,” Danny challenged.

“Or that,” Laura giggled. Danny caught her in a hug.

“Rude.”

“I’m joking. Happy birthday, Danny.” Laura wrapped her arms around Danny’s neck and kissed her.

“Danny, take a bath!” Elsie called out. The two separated while Elsie and the others snickered.

Danny kissed Laura’s nose before she went off into the bathroom.

* * *

Danny was sure that brushing her teeth then eating brunch would be a bad idea, but she did it anyway. Eating pancakes wouldn’t taste as great with the minty aftertaste in her mouth. Danny took some bacon and eggs. She took a brownie from the tray before Laura even finished all of them. Danny suspected that it was Perry who made those since it was the last piece. She looked over the table and she moved towards her birthday cake to inspect it. It was covered in white icing and a Happy Birthday Danny was scribbled over it in orange icing. Danny noticed the tiny hearts that were clustered in awkward places on the cake. There was an ‘L’ in the center of the heart clusters.

“Do you like it? I made that myself,” Elsie popped up beside Danny. She grabbed a sausage and bit it.

“Especially the little details,” Elsie wiggled her eyebrows.

“Elsie, you little shit,” Danny said. She could’ve shoved Elsie if her hands weren’t occupied with a cup and a plate.

“Well, I could’ve made it into Laura-shaped but I was in a rush,” Elsie teased. Danny shook her head and sighed.

“Or maybe I could have covered Laura in icing and you could --”

“Elsie!” Danny stopped her before she could finish her sentence. Danny blushed and went right away to the table before their conversation could get weirder.

Laura saved a seat beside her for Danny. Danny noticed Laura had a different type of pancakes on her plate. They were chocolate chip. As expected of Laura. Danny smiled. She cut a piece of her pancake and ate it when Erica asked to take a picture of her and Laura. Danny smiled with the pancake still in her mouth. Erica snapped a photo. Danny swallowed before she could speak.

“I didn’t know you took pictures,” Laura commented, “you always seem to disappear.”

“Well, I have to move places to get a great shot,” Erica replied.

“Oh, can we see some photos you took?” Laura asked. Erica pondered for a moment if she should show her digital camera to Laura but she went against it, and produced a small gift from her bag instead.

“Here,” Erica gave the gift to Danny.

“Thank you.”

Danny dropped her fork and knife on her plate to open the gift. It was a photo album. Danny flipped it open and she saw pictures of her in different basketball games. Even pictures of Elsie and Farah too. Danny showed the picture of Laura cheering to her. Laura laughed. Danny turned over a few more pages. There was a picture where Danny and Elsie were shoving each other in line for pizza. Then on the next page, their backs were turned to the camera and they had their arms around each other’s shoulders. Danny was thankful that although Elsie could be insufferable most of the time, she was one of the best friends she ever had. There was a picture of Farah, too, teaching Danny how to rap during lunch. Danny remembered this as the day Perry could rap better than her and it was an epic rap battle between Perry and Farah. Danny thought that Laf would be surprised by this but they weren’t because Perry rapped to them half the time and they found it oddly endearing. Danny turned to the next page. She found a few group pictures during that Christmas party where everyone wore same sweaters because Perry made one for all of them. Every picture where Mary was in had a white blur. Danny touched it with her fingers.

“Weird, huh?” Erica said.

“It’s not weird. It’s Rose,” Mary joined the table.

“Rose?” Erica said, perplexed.

“My friendly ghost,” Mary answered.

“Oh…”

Danny continued flipping through the pages until she found the last two. It was of Laura playing the piano. Danny ran her fingers on the picture. It was such a great picture with the lighting almost illuminating Laura’s presence and the shine on the piano. Then she saw their picture where they were sleeping outside the auditorium.

“I’m sorry. I had to. It was too cute to pass up,” Erica explained herself. Danny shook her head.

“Thank you,” Danny smiled.

Danny set aside the album so she could continue eating before her food got any colder. After a while and everyone was done eating, they all gathered around the cake. Perry put some candles in it and counted nineteen of them. Laf volunteered to light all of them. Thankfully, the cake didn’t catch fire.

“I wanna see! I wanna see!” Annie complained, jumping up and down.

Danny hoisted her up and carried her. The little kid bent over to try and blow the candles but Danny had moved her farther from the cake. Everyone started singing Happy Birthday to Danny. She watched all of them clap their hands and sing happily. She focused her attention on Annie instead to make the experience less awkward. She didn’t expect to have any party today at all. She only wished for a good day today, but somehow she got something better. Danny sang along as if it was her sister’s birthday. Annie seemed pleased by it as she clapped her hands.

“Make a wish,” Laura said when the song ended. Danny bent down and let Annie blow the candles.

“Annie!” Laura gasped.

“I could light the candles again,” Lafontaine offered.

“No, it’s fine. I already got my wish anyway,” Danny replied.

Danny gazed at Laura then she looked to everyone in the room.

_Thank you. It’s been a good day._

* * *

All of them gathered around the living room as Angie cleared the table. Danny insisted on helping but since it was her birthday, Angie told her to enjoy the day with her friends. Her friends formed a circle on the floor; each of them holding something. Even Annie was holding something.

“You guys didn’t have to…” Danny mumbled.

“Oh come on,” Farah said. She revealed two tiny figurines from her hands. One was slightly bigger than the other. It only made sense since it had red hair and the other one had brown.

“I guess I wouldn’t be giving this out then,” Farah grinned.

“Farah, I want them!” Danny begged. She chased after Farah.

“I was only joking,” Farah said. She dropped the two figurines on Danny’s hands. Danny inspected them. Tiny Danny wore her favourite baseball shirt and jeans while Tiny Laura was wearing a light blue button-up shirt. Farah made it so that Tiny Danny was longingly looking at the Tiny Laura who was smiling so big.

“Thank you,” Danny looked back to Farah and hugged her.

“You’re welcome, dude,” Farah patted Danny’s shoulder.

“Just don’t make them do inappropriate things,” she added. Danny laughed.

Danny pulled away and stared at her new figurines. It was amazing to think about how they were made from polymer clay. Danny didn’t know that Farah had a knack for making small crafts such as these. She was excited to place them next to the origami she made for Annie.

“I was supposed to make one for everyone but that’ll have to wait,” Farah commented.

“This was enough. Thank you again,” Danny said.

Then Beth slid a gift to Danny. She was always a person of few words. Danny felt through the wrapping and she knew too well what kind of gift this is. She received this every year, but she was still excited to open and see what it is. It was different every time. She tore through the wrapper and she held in her hands a clothbound classic of Pride and Prejudice. Danny’s eyes started to tear up.

“This is really amazing. I could have every edition and I would still read it,” Danny said. She hugged Beth. Lafontaine cleared their throat.

“I guess it’s our turn,” Lafontaine said. They handed their gift to Danny.

It was another book, Danny guessed. She ripped the wrapping and she held in her hands a Star Wars origami book and packs of origami paper.

“I remember you being the shy puppy that you are, leaving Laura origami each time she practiced. Here’s to wooing your lady,” Lafontaine snickered.

“Laf!” Danny tackled Lafontaine in a hug. “You lil shit.” She ruffled their hair.

“It was my idea for the origami paper, just so you know.” Perry added. Danny hugged Perry after Lafontaine. She was so used to using coloured paper that she didn’t bother with buying origami paper.

The next one who gave her a gift was Mary. Mary didn’t even bother to wrap her gift. It was a small urn with little inscriptions on it. It’s either the urn was the container of the gift or the urn itself was the gift. Mary smiled timidly.

“It’s for good luck and you can use the blessed salt inside to repel evil spirits,” Mary said.

“Well, I’m gonna need all the luck I can get, right?” Danny smiled, “Thank you, Mary.”

Danny set the urn beside the figurines and the book. Annie came running into Danny. The little kid put her arms around her sister’s neck and tried to pull herself up. Danny supported her back. Annie kissed her cheek. Then Annie let go to show her a picture she drew.

“Dandan, look! Me, Laura, Dandan on a dinosaur!” Annie beamed.

It was truly a drawing of three of them on a green, Danny guessed, sauropod. Danny laughed because the depiction of her was almost as tall as the sauropod, but she was kind of surprised that Annie got Laura’s height right. Laura appeared taller in this picture unlike in the other pictures that Annie had drawn. Danny kissed Annie soundly on the forehead.

“Thank you, Annie. This is really great. Good job,” Danny praised.

The little kid moved away when Laura moved closer since it was her turn to give her gift. Laura placed a paper bag in front of Danny and gestured her to open it. Danny pulled the paper bag open to get the black letterman jacket she was holding.

“Try it on. I wasn’t totally sure if it fit right.,” Laura said.

Danny slipped her arms inside the sleeves. It fit her shoulders properly. The sleeve length was perfect. It wasn’t too short or too long. Danny was fixing her collar when she noticed the ‘L’ on the left part of her jacket. Laura placed her hand over it.

“It’s right over your heart,” Laura whispered for only Danny to hear, “where I would be.”

“But you are. Heck, it’s even yours if you wished it so,” Danny whispered back. Danny slid her fingers in Laura’s hair., pulling her closer.

“Oh, uh, Mrs. Lawrence, you’ve finished cleaning up. That was quick,” Farah said in an awkwardly loud voice. Laura immediately moved away from Danny. Angie looked from Laura then Danny. She smiled and handed Danny a present. It was heavy and small in Danny’s hands.

“Your dad and I think it’s high time that you should get this,” Angie said.

Danny ripped the wrapping open and revealed a box of a smartphone. Danny gasped. She placed it down before she got up and hugged her mother. She began crying.

“Thank you, Mom, thank you. I promise I’d take good care of it and use it accordingly. I can even now send Dad stupid messages if he’s bored,” Danny said. She pulled away from her mother and went back to the little box.

Danny opened the box and held the phone in her hands. The cold metal in her hands felt unreal. It was almost like the same feeling she had when Laura gave her a small iPod shuffle.

“Here, let me help you,” Laura said. She turned the power button on.

“Um, hold on to it for a while,” Danny said.

Danny got up and walked away from the living room. She visited her father’s room and hugged him.

“Happy birthday, Danny,” Ric whispered, stroking her red hair.

“Thanks, Dad. It’s been a good day,” Danny replied softly.

“That’s good to hear.”

* * *

 

April 18. 6:00 PM. The sun was on its way to resting in the west.

Annie hitched a ride on Perry’s back because she was mesmerized by her red curly hair. Danny swore if she didn’t remove Annie from Perry, the little kid would probably have chosen to live there. Or maybe it’s just that Perry was the only one who had the same curls as her.

“Happy birthday again, Danny,” Laf said, squeezing Danny’s shoulder before going on ahead.

“Thank you,” Danny replied, trying to hold Annie still who was struggling to get down.

“Kiddo, stop moving around too much or you’ll fall,” Danny chided, but Annie was kicking and reaching out to her friends who were making their way to the bus stop.

“Laura!” Annie cried.

Laura looked back and waved at Annie, but Annie kept crying and she was slipping from Danny’s grip. Danny decided to put her down finally. Annie ran out to the sidewalk and hugged Laura’s legs.

“Laura!” Annie sniffled, “I wanna play.”

Danny caught up to them and saw Laura pat Annie’s head.

“Annie!” Danny said.

“You can go on ahead,” Laura told the others. They went on ahead.

“Annie, do you want to play there?” Laura pointed at the playground across the street.

The little kid wiped her tears away. Her eyes sparkled and excitedly nodded. Laura took Annie’s hand.

“Are you coming?” Laura asked.

“Do you even need to ask?” Danny mused. She took Annie’s other hand. Together, they walked towards the playground.

* * *

 

Annie waved and smiled at Danny and expected for her big sister to wave back at her before she slid down the plastic slide. Danny obliged and waved back. She watched Annie slide down and landed safely on the gravel. The little kid laughed and went around for another round. Danny turned back her attention to Laura who was enjoying her time on the swing.

“Do you wanna go for a swing?” Laura looked up to Danny. She shook her head.

“I’m pretty sure the swing would give out in just one push,” Danny remarked. Laura stayed silent.

The wind blew like it was telling them that night time was coming soon and the sun would be laid to rest. The night breeze brought forth the music of the new dancing leaves and the humming of spring grass. The gravel itself had a beat of its own in time with Annie’s steps.

“Danny, have you ever wondered if the wind could talk to you?” Laura pondered.

“Well, I know it could play music,” Danny breathed in. The wind was always soft in spring.

“Like if it could bring you messages from those whom you don’t expect to receive any?”

“Sometimes,” Danny admitted.

She thought about her mother, her birth mother. Did she know if it was her daughter’s birthday today?

“Don’t you ever think about them?” Laura began.

‘Your birth parents, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Danny said.

Was it really her birthday today? Did her mother ever acknowledge her real birthday? Or was she completely forgotten?

“Don’t you ever want to find them?” Laura continued.

“Nah,” Danny muttered.

“But don’t you want answers?” Laura pried.

For a long time, Danny did want those answers, but what would it be of use to her if it meant risking her heart for a full confrontation of pain?

“Maybe,” Danny tried to put it off with the one word replies, but Laura insisted.

“You know, I could always help.”

“Thanks, Laura, but I’m already happy the way it is,” Danny said it more to herself rather than to Laura.

She was happy really, but somehow, birthdays were always uncomfortable like a nagging feeling she couldn’t place.

“But, Danny --”

“Laura, can we just drop this please?” Danny pleaded. Any more of this would be her limit.

“Aren’t you worried that your mother might be looking for you?” Laura badgered.

“Of course, I am worried about my birth mother. Is she eating well? Does she keep warm during the winter? Is she still with my father? If she was looking for me, then why the fuck did she leave me to die? No messages, nothing!" Danny spat. Laura opened her mouth to speak but Danny cut her off.

“No, Laura. You don’t understand. Waiting around for someone, who I don’t even know if they’re alive or not, is a pointless suffering. What do you know? Your mother is dead,” Danny threw the words before she could retract them.

Danny’s heart sank. What had she done? She tried to utter an apology but her voice was gone like the wind stole it from her. Laura stood from the swing. Her expression was dark, her jaws clenched. Danny reached out for Laura but the silent moment was broken by a cry. Annie landed on the gravel badly and she scraped her elbow. It was a reflex for Danny to go to Annie whenever she cried. She examined the elbow and she was glad that it wasn’t bleeding. She carried Annie and cooed for the pain to go away. Danny turned back to Laura but she was gone. The bus stopped in one corner and Danny got a glimpse of Laura getting on. Danny guessed she was heading home, hopefully, a bus ride home.

* * *

Danny was lying in bed and beside her was Annie, who was sleeping soundly. She constantly checked her phone for any new messages. The last message, or rather the first message she ever got was from Lafontaine who told her that Laura had safely returned home. That was all Danny needed to know first. Then she flooded Laura’s inbox with apologies and explanations. She probably placed a hundred missed calls. Although Laura didn’t hung up on any of them, it still worried Danny. Her words would have triggered painful memories for Laura. She checked her phone again. Still no new messages. Danny sighed. Her hand was over her closed eyes. How could she ever make up for what she said a while ago? What she did was inexcusable and no amount of sorry’s would ever make up for it. Her phone buzzed. Danny almost jumped, her heart racing. She was terrified to read it but she had to know what Laura was thinking right now. She had to. Her hands were shaky but she managed to open the text. It contained two sentences.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too.”

Danny sighed in relief. Her heart almost stopped a second there but thank the heavens that Laura wasn’t completely mad at her. Danny texted back, asking if they could talk about it.

Laura immediately replied, “Tomorrow.”

The prospect of tomorrow sounded nice. Today was supposed to be a good day. _Way to end your birthday, Danny._

* * *

 

Here they were, together, studying for their finals. (Finally, a school year almost over) They took turns doing their study dates in each other’s houses. Today, they did it in Danny’s room where Annie had cried her way to staying with them. Annie wasn’t the only distraction they had. At first, Danny sat beside Laura as she read through kinematic equations. Her arm wrapped around Laura’s waist, her thumb rubbing over Laura’s side. Laura would remove it when Danny’s fingers were dangerously close to the hem of her shirt. Laura looked at Danny like she was silently scolding her. Her eyes glanced to Annie who was busy making her dinosaurs fight. Danny mouthed an apology. But that wasn’t the only thing Laura had to deal with. Every time Danny tried to memorize something, she moved behind Laura so she could hug her and nuzzle her neck. She buried herself in Laura’s scent, the familiar scent of sweet pea.

“Danny…” Laura breathed.

The heat was crawling up her neck. Danny’s lips would brush over her neck and it set her on edge. It left Laura wanting more but Danny always withdrew from the hug and settled back, lying down on her bed to resume studying. When Danny did it again for the fourth time, Laura dropped her notebook on the bed and crawled over Danny. Danny stared at her with innocent blue eyes, but Laura couldn’t been fooled. A smug smile on Danny’s face told all that.

“I thought we were supposed to be studying,” Danny smirked. Laura shadowed over her face, their lips almost touching. Danny leaned forward to capture her lips but Laura pulled back at the right moment.

“Two can play this game,” Laura whispered and went back to reading over Hitler’s rise to power.

Danny sat up, a smile playing on her lips. Danny’s arms slowly snaked around Laura’s waist. Danny breathing down on her neck sent goosebumps all over her skin. Laura attempted to retain her focus. She furrowed her eyebrows and read the words on paper. Pres. Hindenburg set the Reichstag on fire (rather, she was on fire). Wait, that was wrong if Laura remembered correctly. Laura reviewed it again, but the only thought sticking to her was the warm breath over her skin and how it was moving up to the back of her ear.

“Newton’s law of universal gravitation states that gravitational force is inversely proportional to the square of the distance separating the centers of two objects,” Danny whispered as she pulled Laura closer to her body, “so if the distance is smaller, the attraction would be greater.”

Laura was certain that the law of gravity didn’t need a demonstration if she had already hopelessly fallen in love with this beautiful red head. Laura sucked in a breath. The apparent closeness made her aware of how she fit perfectly in Danny’s arms, but she still wouldn’t lose to this. She continued reading to hide her obvious attraction.

“And it also states that gravitational force is directly proportional to the mass of the interacting objects, and the more massive object will attract the other with a greater force. Thus in conclusion, you, the one who has a smaller mass, are pulled by a greater force,” Danny continued, still breathing down on Laura’s ear.

“How long can you resist the impeccable attraction between us when the natural laws of the universe dictate it?” Danny tempted for Laura to make the first move.

Laura gripped her notebook, almost tearing the pages away from their spiral binding. Laura checked what Annie was doing. The little kid’s back was facing them and she was now talking to her T-Rex stuffed toy. The forces of the universe were conspiring with Danny. Unfair. Kisses on shoulder. Fuck.

Laura let go of her notebook, turned around, and crashed her lips onto Danny’s. She pushed the redhead to lie on her back and kissed her roughly and desperately. Any second Annie might turn around especially with Danny moaning at the back of her throat. There was no time to worry, only time savour this moment. Danny’s tongue brushing against hers, Danny’s playful smile when their teeth occasionally bumped, Danny’s fingers trailing down her back. Laura pulled back to momentarily catch her breath. She fixed her gaze on Danny’s eyes, turned a darker shade of blue. Then she watched Danny lick her lips. It was enough to send Laura down on her lips again, but the kiss was cut short when she felt the mattress dipped on one side. Someone was trying to climb up to it.

“Dandan, I want kisses too,” Annie pouted.

Laura pushed herself away from Danny. She quickly grabbed her notebook to hide her face. She lost it. She was the one trying to be proper for Annie but she was the one who initiated the kiss.

“C’mere,” Danny said, pulling her sister down for a hug and showering her with kisses. The little kid squealed in delight.

Laura peeked from her notebook. Danny kissed Annie on the lips too. That should be her right now. Laura caught herself thinking that, and buried her face into her notebook. It was ridiculous to even think that she could have an inkling of jealousy because of Danny’s little sister.

“Hey, kiddo, don’t you think Laura would like your kisses too?” Danny mentioned.

Annie nodded and crawled her way to Laura’s arms. She slipped in between the notebook and Laura’s face.

“Does Laura want kisses?” Annie asked. Laura saw Danny sit up and wink at her.

“Yes, yes I do,” Laura replied. Annie kissed her soundly on the cheek.

_From me to you._

* * *

The weather forecast predicted that it would be a sunny day today but there was a higher chance of raining right before the sun would set. It didn’t impede on the gang’s plans to have barbecue in the park so they could celebrate the end of the school year.

With the sizzling patties and the smoke in the air, Lafontaine wore goggles and gloves as advised, strictly advised, by Perry. Lafontaine complained about it but when Perry said that they looked like an attractive scientist out on an experiment with barbecue, Lafontaine agreed immediately.

While Lafontaine and Perry were busy preparing the food, the others were playing frisbee except for Erica who was taking photos of everything. She snapped a photo of Danny toppling over Laura when Danny jumped to catch the frisbee before Laura could get it. Then another where Farah and Elsie were running beside each other as they chased the frisbee.

Meanwhile, Mary and Beth were crouching by the river bank and silently appreciating the sunlight reflected on the river. Beth threw rocks into the water. As she felt out which rock to throw next, her hand brushed with Mary's, who was looking for smooth rocks. Beth turned over Mary's hand and interlocked their fingers when out of nowhere, they were splashed with ice cold water.

"Rose!" Mary yelled.

Beth let go of Mary's hand and stood up. Mary followed after Beth as she walked away.

"Hey! Who wants to eat already?" Lafontaine shouted.

 

Farah came running and raising her hand.

"Me, me!" she exclaimed.

Mary caught Beth's hand.

"I'm sorry," Mary muttered. Beth shook her head. She intertwined their fingers again.

They walked together, hand in hand, while the others raced to the picnic table.

* * *

 

Everyone laid on the grass after they ate. They were so full since Perry brought cookies on top of the barbecue they had. There was a distant sound of children’s laughter and splashing of water. Danny had an idea. She rolled over so she was lying on her stomach.

“Hey, wanna play in the river?” Danny asked. Laura looked at her, worried, but she finally nodded.

“You kids better not make out by the trees!” Elsie called out. Danny flipped out the finger without looking back. She suddenly carried Laura over her shoulder and ran to the river.

“Danny, put me down! Don’t dunk me into the water,” Laura screamed. The water was cold on Danny’s feet. Laura shoved Danny as soon as she put her down. Danny almost fell over, laughing.

“That was not cool,” Laura said, crossing her arms. Danny moved closer to her and leaned down, but Laura turned her back on Danny. Rather than frowning, Danny grinned and bent down to splash water at Laura.

“Danny!” Laura shrieked. Danny kept on splashing more water at Laura. Laura shielded herself with her arms.

“I’ve had it,” Laura said. She also bent down to splash water at Danny.

Both of them were laughing and getting completely soaked. Laura tackled Danny and they both fell into the water. When they got up, someone else splashed water at them. Laf, Farah, and Elsie joined in with them. Laf even had water guns prepared for them. They squirted water at the couple as the two tried to run away. They were having a good time when the grey clouds moved fast in the unsuspecting blue sky and it hailed. All of them ran back to their picnic table and quickly packed their things before it could get completely soaked or destroyed. They sought shelter by the changing rooms beside the closed swimming pool.

“We have to let the hail pass. I can’t drive in this weather,” Farah said.

They stayed under the roof of the changing room, but it looked like the weather wouldn’t get any more calm at this point. Laura shivered, running her hands on her shoulders and arms to keep herself warm. Danny wrapped her arms around Laura.

“Danny, you’re cold. You’re not helping,” Laura complained.

“Don’t worry. I’ll warm up soon enough,” Danny replied. Perry threw a towel over them.

“You should’ve thought this over before you went into the river and got soaked. Good thing I brought a towel,” Perry said.

“Thanks,” said Danny and Laura.

Danny wrapped the towel around them like a blanket. She was finally sharing the heat with Laura so they could keep warm.The hail still wouldn’t relent. Danny rested her head on Laura’s shoulder.

“Danny, your face is hot,” Laura remarked.

“I know. Thank you,” Danny grinned.

“No, really. Your face is too hot,” Laura turned around and cradled Danny’s face in her hands.

“Like you’re burning up.”

“No, I’m not,” Danny objected, withdrawing from Laura’s touch. Sudden dizziness overwhelmed her. Laura put a hand on Danny’s forehead and the other on hers.

“Perry, she’s really burning up,” Laura said, panic rising in her tone.

Perry approached them and checked Danny’s temperature too. Danny was getting weak to be able to move Perry’s hand away from her. The grey surroundings were turning darker until it was complete black.

* * *

Danny woke up to the faint sound of rain and a ticking clock. She slowly opened her eyes and found herself back in her room, on her bed. She moved her head to check her surroundings. Annie wasn't by her side. She guessed that the little kid slept with her parents. She turned to the other side and she found Laura sitting by her bedside, her head down as she was sleeping and their fingers barely touching. Danny reached out to take Laura's hand into hers. Laura stirred from her sleep.

"Laura," Danny's voice cracked, her mouth parched.

"Laura," Danny tried again. Laura woke up, still holding onto Danny's hand.

"You're awake!" Laura panicked, "do you need water? Anything? I should tell your mom that you're awake. You've been asleep for almost a day. Are you hungry? I was worried that --"

"Laura," Danny repeated, squeezing her hand.

"Water's good," Danny said, feeling out her dry tongue.

Laura let go of Danny's hand to get the glass of water from the bedside table. Danny quickly pushed herself up. She suddenly felt dizzy like white noise was in her head.

"Danny!" Laura said, quick to support Danny.

She helped her up so that Danny could rest her back on the headboard. She handed the glass to Danny, who drank every last drop of water in it.

"Thanks," Danny said, returning the glass to Laura. Laura put it back on the bedside table.

Danny rested her head back on the board. Her eyes were getting heavy again. She felt tired and sleepy even though she had slept for most of the day. She moved over to her right to make space. She patted the mattress to invite Laura to lie by her side. Laura hesitated for a moment, but Danny smiled at her. Laura climbed into the bed and squished herself beside Danny. Danny pulled the covers over them and she slipped her arm around Laura, interlocking their fingers. Danny's body was warm against her back. They both fell asleep immediately.

* * *

 

"Annie!" Danny shouted over the crowd, partying to the beat of the concert by the Coca-Cola stage.

The little kid was running around with cotton candy in her hands. Danny pushed aside the crowd of people with one hand and the other held Laura's hand. Danny got through the crowd and finally caught up with the little kid.

"Hey, don't run off like that," Danny reminded.

"I wanna play!" Annie complained, pointing at the BMO kids zone.

"Yes, we'll get there," Danny sighed.

She had wanted to try out the rides today but she guessed she won't be able to since her dad had insisted on bringing Annie along. It wasn't that bad, in fact, it was fun. They visited the agricultural building and Annie loved the horses, almost wanted to ride one. Laura, on the other hand, enjoyed the food. Right now, she was eating her third mini donut popsicle.

"Hey, can I have a bite," Danny asked.

"I thought you said you didn't like it because it was too sweet," Laura said.

"I just need something cold," Danny replied.

It was too hot. The sun was at its highest point in the sky. Yellow light almost scorched any exposed skin, but it was worse to have two layers of clothing. Danny had to take off her plaid shirt and tie it around her waist. Although it was significantly cooler now, Danny regretted that she wore a blank tank top. Laura, after taking a bite, held out the popsicle to Danny, who chomped down on it.

"Hey!" Laura shouted, "you took one chunk of the mini donut."

"Sorry," Danny mumbled, swallowing what was left in her mouth.

"Don't worry. I'll get you another one when-- Where's Annie?" Danny panicked.

She was just here and now she was gone, again.

"We should check the BMO kids zone. I mean, that's where she wanted to go, right?" Laura suggested. Danny nodded. They hurried to the playground, scanned the area, but Annie was nowhere to be found.

"Shit." Danny paced around.

"Danny, let's calm down for a sec and think where she could've gone," Laura said.

"She could've gone anywhere at this point. She's a kid. She's easily distracted." Danny said. Danny gasped.

"What if someone's taken her?"

"Danny, let's not jump into conclusions," Laura said, finishing up the popsicle.

"She might still be close by."

Danny, thinking about where Annie could've gone, put her hands on top of her cowboy hat.

"I take my eyes off her and check on you; I lose her," Danny muttered.

"Are you saying it's my fault?" Laura said.

"What? No!"

"Well, it sounded like you did. Sorry for being just another kid you should look after," Laura said.

"Laura, I didn't mean it like that... I just--"

"Just what, Danny? Worry? I'm completely capable by myself," Laura cut her off. Danny clenched her jaw and stayed quiet.

Was it wrong to worry when the last time she thought someone was completely capable of taking care of himself, her brother disappears?

"You stay here. I'm going to look for her," Danny mumbled.

"Great," Laura rolled her eyes.

"Well, someone has to stay put in case Annie remembers to come back here," Danny reasoned. Laura crossed her arms. Danny was about to go when she heard someone call her name.

"Dandan!" Annie came running to her. Danny bent down to meet her sister and hug her. Tears pricked her eyes and she held her little sister tightly.

"Kiddo, where have you been?" Danny asked. Annie withdrew from the hug and pointed at what seemed to be like trash cans in the distance. That would explain why her plastic for the cotton candy was gone.

"Annie, don't ever leave without telling me, okay?" Danny scolded. Annie nodded.

"Now go and play where we can watch you," Danny said. Annie ran to the playground.

Danny looked back to see Laura except that she was gone. Panic rose in her chest again, but she remembered what Laura said to her. Laura was completely capable by herself. Danny hoped she really was and nothing bad happened to her. She leaned her back on a wall as she carefully watched Annie play with the other kids. A popsicle popped up in front of her face.

"I was so upset that I bought two," Laura muttered.

"But then I realized that I can't eat more than one so..." she trailed off. Danny took the popsicle from Laura. Her lips pressed into a thin smile.

"Thank you."

"I still mean it though. Don't treat me like a kid."

"Noted."

* * *

Annie jumped up and down as they waited by the line to get into the Penguin Plunge. She kept squealing until Danny told her to stop. When they went inside, there was a strong stench of fish but what could they do if that's what the penguins mostly ate. Danny and Laura held hands as they walked and watched Annie, fascinated by penguins swimming by in front of her. Annie stuck her hands on the glass and her eyes were filled with wonder whenever the penguins chased each other underwater.

Laura pointed at a line of penguins as they plunged into the water one by one. She giggled at the way they slipped from the ice. A familiar sense of happiness rose up in Danny's chest as she gazed at Laura. How she wanted to capture that laughter with her lips. Danny squeezed her hand instead.

"Dandan!" Annie shouted.

She was by the exit of the facility. The couple hurried before Annie could escape them like last time.

When Annie saw the moving velociraptor at the center of the zoo, she insisted to go by the Prehistoric Park first, but Danny argued that they should see all the animals first since Danny guessed that it would take until closing time to appreciate all the animals in the park minus seeing the dinosaurs. Annie frowned and dragged her feet as they went inside the Canadian Wildlands. The little kid was unimpressed by the mountain goats and sheep, but she was filled with excitement again when they went inside the aviary. She particularly liked the snowy owl hiding by the trees.

A large bird flew past the top of Danny's head. The wind from flapping its wings gave Danny the chills and she froze. Laura snapped a picture of her horrified expression with her phone. She took more photos as Danny tried to take the phone from her, but Danny had to stop when people tried to cross the bridge, which they were blocking. Laura changed her lock screen with Danny's new expression. She loved seeing and taking many pictures of her different faces for different emotions and circumstances.

The next face Laura got to see was one of fascination as Danny watched a grey wolf walk so close to the metal wires of its cage. It walked in the same path, almost in circles. Annie easily got bored of looking at the grey wolf going in circles but Danny kept watching it so Annie had to drag her away and move onto the brown bears. One of them was an albino bear who hid inside one of the holes while the other two young ones wrestled and chased each other. Annie imitated its roar and latched onto Laura who was crouched to take a picture of the albino bear. Laura laughed, responding with an equally cute roar. Danny fumbled with her phone as she struggled to take a video of Laura playing with Annie, a parallel of the two brown bears.

"Ah! Annie, don't bite!" Laura shouted. Annie responded with a laugh.

"Shit," Danny muttered under her breath. Danny lifted Annie off the ground.

"Kiddo, that wasn't funny." Annie frowned.

"Danny, it's okay," Laura said, "she was only playing around like a little cub." Danny shook her head.

"She still gotta know it's not something you should do." Annie struggled from Danny's grasp until Danny was fed up and let her go. The little kid ran to Laura's legs.

"I don't like Dandan!" Annie shouted, gripping the fabric of Laura's jeans.

"Fine," Danny huffed, "I'm not carrying you when you get tired."

"Danny..." Laura said. Danny winked at Laura and went on ahead. Laura whispered an ‘oh’ as she understood Danny's intentions.

"C'mon, Annie," Laura said as she held Annie's hand.

It wasn't the best idea to pretend being mad at Annie since she and Laura looked so cute together. Laura pointed out where the lynx was hiding, where the monkeys were hanging, what camouflage was when the komodo dragon hid in the leaves. Annie climbed onto the railing around the rhinoceros' cage.

"Rhino is sad," Annie said, holding onto the railing.

"Why do you think so?" Laura asked.

"He's only one," Annie answered, "no one to play with."

"What? No, he's not. He's got us," Laura said, waving at the rhino. Annie copied her. Then Laura blew flying kisses at the rhino; Annie did the same.

It was difficult not to join in with what they're doing but Danny stayed strong not to interact with Annie. Until they reached the red pandas. Annie pulled at Danny's green pants and her puppy eyes.

"Dandan... Sorry," Annie pouted.

Danny narrowed her eyes. She knew that Annie was only doing this because she was getting tired and wanted to get carried. It was how Annie always was but Danny fell for it every time. She swooped up her little sister off the ground and placed her on her shoulders. Annie rested her chin on Danny's head. Laura locked arms with Danny's arm and leaned her head on the redhead. Laura closed her eyes and sighed.

"Hey, I'm not carrying you too," Danny joked. Laura frowned.

"Too bad I can't get a ride."

Danny gasped.

"Laura, no."

"What? -- Oh! Oh..."

"I didn't mean it like that," Laura quickly added. "It must be nice to see things from a different perspective."

"Nah, you don't need a different perspective to see nice things." Danny replied, her gaze dropping down on Laura's lips then back to her eyes. Laura took a deep breath.

"Panda!" Annie broke the moment.

The red panda jumped from its little hut to the tree. Annie imitated it by reaching out to Laura. Danny gave her a questioning look but Laura nodded. The little kid climbed down onto Laura's shoulders.

"Hey," Danny called their attention. She quickly snapped a shot with her phone.

Her lock screen, the new photo of Laura and Annie smiling.

Like a family picture kept in a father's wallet.

* * *

 

Henry Hollis cranked up the volume while his other hand held the wheel.

"Dad, this is embarrassing," Laura swatted her father's hand from the knob and changed the station before their ears bled from country music.

“Hey, Taylor Swift was country,” Henry retorted.

“She’s an exception,” Laura said. Henry snorted.

“Whatever you say, kid.”

Laura looked back to see Danny and Annie sleeping, the little kid on the redhead’s lap. Danny’s head tilted towards the window. Her mouth slightly open, her hair almost curtaining her face. Laura smiled and turned her eyes back on the road.

“She’s a nice kid,” Henry remarked, occasionally glancing at Laura.

“Yeah.”

The radio station changed again to the familiar sound of a guitar.

“Dad!” Laura said.

“What? We can turn it back to your love radio when she’s awake.”

It was going to be a long road of unending plains of grass and country music, and staring at Danny whom Laura wished she could cuddle next to as she slept.

* * *

 

The parking lot was full and packed with people. No one could blame anyone since it was a beautiful day, sunny yet the wind kept the temperature cool. Laura helped Henry with taking out the wheelchair from the back of the van while Danny supported her father to get into the wheelchair. Ric took a deep breath to savour the smell of the surrounding mountains.

"It's good to be outside of Calgary after three years," he said. Danny nodded in agreement.

Angie insisted on pushing the wheelchair instead of Danny, who was tasked to take care of her little sister. Danny held out her hand for Annie but weirdly enough, the little kid was attached to Laura's dad, who kept talking in a goofy voice. Laura took Danny's hand instead. Laura covered her face with her palm and said:

"I can't believe this."

"I'm guessing he did that to you when you were younger and you adored it," Danny said.

"Uh... Yes, yes I did," Laura admitted sheepishly.

They walked towards the lake as they listened to Annie's giggles, Henry's comical voice, and surrounding conversations.

Lake Louise had a lovely shade of turquoise in the summer. A few yellow boats decorated it as people decided to feel the water breathe underneath them. Fairmont Chateau was in a close distance, the gardens were filled with bushes and flowers.

"Ric, you and Angie can stay here while me and the kids go for a trek by the lake," Henry said.

"I booked a room and made a reservation in the restaurant in case you wanted to have a lovely lunch," he added. Angie gasped.

"You didn't have to," she said.

"This is too much. We can't just--"

"No, Ric, it's okay. After all, your family took care of my daughter for the days I couldn't." Henry interrupted Ric. Danny's father nodded and shook Henry's hand.

"Thank you."

When Angie turned the wheelchair towards the hotel, Annie ran and climbed onto her father's lap.

"Tatay will not come with us?" the little kid asked. Ric shook his head.

"And Mama too?" Her mother shook her head too.

"Why aren't Mama and Tatay going? Are they gonna do mwah-mwah like Dandan and Laura do?" Annie asked loudly.

The three parents looked at the couple who looked at each other, horrified. Mr. Hollis proceeded to carry Annie from Ric's lap and told Danny's parents to go on ahead as he would take care of the situation.

"Tell me, kid, what else have they done? I'll give you any kind of ice cream you want," Henry whispered. Annie giggled.

"Dad, I heard that," Laura said, approaching with Danny by her side.

Henry set Annie down on the ground and shifted his attention to Danny. Danny felt the chill in her spine and let go of Laura's hand. Henry gripped Danny's shoulder, a little bit too strongly, which made Danny gulp.

"You and I need to talk," Henry said. He put his arm around the taller girl.

"Y-yes sir," Danny said, a little too loud.

Her blue eyes called for help but all Laura could do was a thumbs up and good luck. She took Annie's hand in hers as they made a painfully awkward trek by the lake.

****  
  
  
  



	7. Lumière Over Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Any kind of light is beautiful because we can see it or rather we can see things because of it, but once darkness falls, we become afraid. Just like how the future is unknown, unclear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry it took so long. I usually post in the first week of the month but I got into a bad writing block. If you're reading this, I guess you can enjoy this train wreck of a fic.

It was minutes away from midnight. Running through streets, Danny was sure she was going to trip or worse, mugged, but she was sure no one would do that in this kind of neighbourhood right? But then again, everyone who lived here had mansions for houses. Her heavy footfalls and panting could wake up everyone but she didn’t care. She couldn’t be late. No, not today.

Danny speed-dialed Laura’s number and kept running. Hopefully, Laura was still up and would answer the phone. When the ringing ended, a drawling voice replaced it with a “Hello?” Her throat was burning from the crisp cold air of September and the running. Danny swallowed and cleared her throat before she could reply:

“Hey, Rapunzel, let down your hair.”

She heard a muffled sound of groaning. Yup, she must have been sleeping.

“But I don’t want to go outside,” Laura whined. Danny laughed, still out of breath.

“But you’ll want to see this.”

“You mean you right?” Laura asked, her eyes still closed.

“No, no, not just me,” Danny said as she finally reached Laura’s house.

“Something far greater.”

“How can anything be greater compared to you?” Laura said, finally opening her eyes.

“I promise, you’ll want to see this,” Danny chuckled. She heard the rustling of sheets being thrown over.

“And oh yeah, Laura, grab a nice coat and pair of shoes. It’s chilly tonight,” Danny reminded.

After several minutes, Laura appeared at the door and pulled a toque over her head. She rubbed her eyes and walked wobbly towards Danny.

“You better have a good excuse for waking me up and making me sneak out especially with my Dad sleeping inside,” Laura complained.

“It’ll be worth it,” Danny answered, grabbing Laura’s hand.

“Let’s go.”

The streets became increasingly darker and Laura felt more scared. She hadn’t wandered in this part of the community, mainly because it was too dark and far from the familiarity of the city and its artificial lights. Laura trusted Danny and that was all that matters.

“Hey, babe, look up,” Danny said. Laura looked up.

A blank canvas of a sky, but dotted with a few stars. What was so special about tonight? What was so special about the sky? Until of course, a light brush stroke of green appeared in the sky.

“It can’t be…” Laura said, her eyes filled with wonder.

“Happy birthday, Laura,” Danny smiled.

Laura gazed at Danny, her eyes almost in tears. How could she have been this lucky? An astronomical chance of the Northern Lights falling exactly on her birthday and Danny loving her out of all the people in this world. Life seemed to be a chain of happy coincidences. Another streak of green flashed in the sky.

Fingers brushed her cheek. Laura definitely preferred blue rather than green or purple. Green and purple were always wonders but blue… Blue was love.

And she found it in her eyes.

And when words failed, kisses filled the spaces in between.

 

* * *

 

"Can't keep your hands to yourselves?" Lafontaine said, eyeing Danny and Laura's intertwined hands under the table.

"Same with yours," Danny smirked.

"Touché."

The bell rang.

"We'll see you in Biology, yeah?" Lafontaine said, picking up their bag.

"And don't be late," Perry reminded.

Danny and Laura had planned their spare together so they'd have it like old times, just Laura practicing her piano again and Danny listening in. Sometimes she'd love to sit beside Laura but then she would be too much of a distraction, even if she was only staring.

How could she not? Laura pretty much turned more beautiful every time she played the piano and almost like an angel playing for heaven. Danny wondered if Laura would play her melodies forever, wondered too loud.

"I'd definitely play forever," Laura answered. "You know, become a professional pianist and all that. Probably go to Europe someday."

Danny snapped from her thoughts of forever together, inseparable harmonies. Europe? Away from Canada?

"You mean just visiting Europe for concerts, right?" Danny asked.

"Well, I was thinking of studying there after high school if I can... But I'm not sure yet. I mean I'm still in Grade 11 so I can still sort some stuff out," Laura explained.

Danny's gaze dropped to the floor. She'd thought that they would go to the local university. Going international seemed like a stretch.

"How about you? Figured out what you're gonna do and where you're going to go?" Laura asked.

Danny bit her lower lip and ran her hand through her hair. She hadn't thought this far ahead or about what she really wanted to do. Laura waited for her answer and Danny took Laura's hand instead.

"I wanna be wherever you wanna go," Danny said, kissing Laura's fingertips.

After Danny kissed each finger, Laura slid her hand against Danny's cheek. The redhead leaned onto her touch and closed her eyes. Laura moved forward. She pressed her lips against Danny's slowly and softly.

"That was sweet," Laura said. Danny smiled and pulled Laura for another kiss.

"But really, Danny. I don't want to be the one stopping you from what you wanna do," Laura said, pulling away from Danny.

"But you are all I want," Danny replied, kissing Laura's jawline.

"I know, I know, but still..." Laura trailed off, giving Danny a worried look. Danny sighed.

"Fine. I'll look into it. Happy?" Laura nodded.

"So can we go back to where we left off?" Danny asked.

Laura nodded again and kissed Danny, forgetting that class was seconds away.

* * *

 

Locked arm in arm, Danny and Laura looked over Halloween decorations up for sale. Laura took one that looked like a black cat and she laughed. Its eyes were not aligned and the tail was cut off. Danny ran her hand on the shelves while looking for something interesting. She touched a witch's hat and it laughed maniacally. Danny jumped and yelped.

"Honestly, if we get a house, I don't want to decorate it for Halloween," Danny said.

"Yeah, because we'll get a haunted mansion scary enough for Halloween to last the whole year," Laura joked.

"You want to live in a haunted mansion?" Danny asked.

"I mean besides the cool mysteries we can uncover, we'd be away from society, undisturbed," Laura answered, fixing the collar of Danny's plaid shirt.

Danny swallowed, her gaze focused on Laura's eyes then dropping down to her lips. She leaned down and Laura tiptoed to meet Danny's lips. Laura pulled at Danny's collar and slipped her tongue in Danny's mouth when someone cleared their throat loudly. The couple separated quickly, both of them slightly embarrassed.

"Undisturbed," Laura repeated. Danny laughed.

"But what if they have ghosts?" Danny asked.

"Well, you still have that blessed salt Mary gave you, right?" Laura replied.

"What if we have kids?"

"Plenty of room to run around and destroy."

"Unless of course we don't destroy it ourselves," Danny said, wiggling her eyebrows. Laura giggled. She rose up to quickly peck Danny on the lips.

"Now let's go before we get kicked out for inappropriate public display of affection," Laura said, pushing the cart.

* * *

 

It had been weeks since Laura and Danny had their talk about their future. Frankly, Danny was panicking every night. Her thoughts raced to Where should she go after high school, Who did she want to be, Did she even want to do anything at all.

Danny groaned and rolled over her bed. She stroked her little sister's hair. How she wished to be young again. To have full of dreams and no worries. Danny kissed the top of Annie's head and closed her eyes.

Would she ever catch up to Laura? Would she be worthy enough to be at her side?

Danny hoped so.

* * *

 

"Hey, Danny, how about this?" Laura asked, holding up a DVD of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Danny groaned.

"You know, anything will do."

Laura placed the DVD back in the shelf.

"How about this?" Laura pulled Jaws off the shelf.

"That's fine too," Danny said, playing with her phone and not even bothering to look what Laura just took.

Laura sighed in defeat and put the case back into the shelf. She falls back on the couch where Danny was sitting, but she made sure to leave space in between them. Noting the space between them, Danny slipped her phone into her pocket and observed Laura. Laura was staring at black screen and crossing her arms.

"Okay, so what's up?" Danny asked.

"I don't know," Laura said, refusing to meet Danny's eyes.

"I told you anything will do."

"It's not about the movie."

"Then what is it?"

"Oh, I don't know! Why don't you come up with the answer this time?" Laura snapped.

"I'm not a mind reader, Laura," Danny answered.

"'Anything will do.' 'Go wherever you wanna go.' Danny, when are you going to make your own choices?" Laura argued.

Danny closed her eyes and clenched her fist. She breathed deeply, trying to find the right words to say it. But to hell with it.

"When did this turn from choosing a movie to watch and cuddle to my life choices?" Danny snapped back.

"I don't know, Danny! Maybe little things matter too. It shows in everything you do," Laura pointed out.

"Everything I do? Laura, I made the conscious choice of doing what it is I do."

"Yeah, like what? Going into Europe to follow me? Dropping school to work for your family? Danny, when are you going to think about what you want?"

"I-- I..." Danny faltered.

"You're in Grade 12, for goodness' sake, and soon, you'll have to choose," Laura said.

Danny clenched her jaw. She wanted to tell Laura how every night, the thought of the future was eating at her, that the more she thought about it, the closer it felt. To be separated from Laura scared her to the point that she shut her mind about it. Danny tried to speak but words clumped in her throat. They suffocated her.

Danny stood up and walked away.

"I don't wanna do this. Not right now."

She left and closed the door behind her.

* * *

 

How long can Danny stare at the blank white ceiling? A spider crawling would very much be appreciated right now, anything to distract her from her thoughts, but she was helpless, lying on her bed. Sometimes she felt the phone in her pocket but she always went against taking it out so she wouldn’t be tempted to text Laura, call her. Danny thought about calling someone else like Elsie or Farah, maybe for some advice about this, but she was so swept up in her thoughts and emotions.

“Dandan?”

Annie climbed on their bed and snuggled against Danny. Danny ruffled her sister’s hair, which the little kid loved. Annie hugged Danny tightly as if she sensed that her bigger sister needed it, in which she did.

“Don’t be sad, Dandan.” Annie said. Danny chuckled. She wasn’t sad, probably scared.

“I love you!” Annie added, hugging Danny even tighter.

“I love you too, little kid,” Danny said, kissing the top of her head.

Scared that everything she loved would be taken away from her.

* * *

 

Pages upon pages, tabs upon tabs, Danny was getting frustrated reading every paragraph how this school would be a great choice for her. She searched universities, colleges, and vocational schools. She looked up courses upon courses, took quizzes to see what her best skills would lead her to, and still she found nothing too interesting. This time, Danny didn't want to think about money being the issue since the provincial government helped with loans and scholarships. Danny almost slammed her head on the keyboard but a text message distracted her. Her dad had asked her to come to his room. She put the computer on sleep mode and visited her dad.

"I heard intense typing and clicking in the other room so I was worried someone might slam their head on the keyboard for answers," Ric began. Danny smiled sheepishly. She settled beside her dad who stroked her hair.

"Writing a paper?" Ric asked.

"No. Papers are easier compared to what I'm doing now," Danny answered.

She hadn't talked about post-secondary education or anything she was going to do after high school with her parents. Ric waited for his daughter to continue speaking. Danny sighed.

"I was looking up schools and what I might do after high school," Danny said, leaving out the part that half of what she was looking for were schools in Europe that she knew she cannot afford.

"I see... Taking the future into your hands, huh?" Ric said.

"Not really..." Danny trailed off. She clung to her father like she would as a child. She was scared of the future like she was scared of goblins and monsters who would try to take her away.

"Then what is it, anak?" Ric asked.

"It's just that... I don't know what I want to do."

"List the things that you love and you'll see what you might be looking for," Ric advised.

She smiled up to her father and followed his advice. She grabbed a piece of paper and started writing beside her father. Her list ranged from her family and of course, Laura, to chocolate and sweet little buns. The more she wrote, the more the words spun their own stories but it was entwined with her story, her life for it was hers to tell. Then it clicked. Books. Words. The harmony of sentences. The layers of text. It was a moment of clarity. It made sense. She stopped writing and looked to her father. Ric smiled at her. He knew she found it. Now all she needed to do was to find what to do with it.

* * *

 

It was too obvious that Danny and Laura had a fight. They weren't sitting beside each other or even just across each other. They were on both ends of the table and they refused to make even the slightest eye contact, but one could see how they sneaked quick glances. Farah nudged Danny and asked:

"Hey yo, what's up with you guys?"

"I just needed some time away," Danny muttered, playing with her food.

Danny wasn't particularly hungry. She was thinking of a way to apologize. She could straight up just confront Laura and talk about it, but Laura seemed to avoid her. Danny looked down to her food. She decided to keep it since there was no way eating could help her think right now, but there was something else that might help her think. Origami.

Danny pulled out a sheet of paper from her binder and folded something as simple as a plane. She smiled. It sounded so cliché in her head but what the heck. Maybe she could just go for it. She scribbled something on the inside flap of the paper plane then launched it in the air. It glided, swayed in the air, and finally landed perfectly in front of Laura, in her mashed potatoes. Laura glared at Danny who missed it because she was busy folding another plane. Laura wanted to crumple the plane in her hand for ruining her food but she saw something in it.

_I know that this wouldn't be easy._

Another plane flew and hit Laura right by her temple. She grabbed it and opened it.

_And I'm not one to complain._

Laura smiled as she recognized the lines. Another plane landed in her mashed potatoes again, but she was too endeared with gesture that she didn't have the strength to get angry.

_I'm sorry. :(_

Laura grabbed a pen from her bag and wrote a reply on the same paper plane. She folded it back nicely despite the gravy on it and threw it back to Danny. It missed but Farah was able to catch it.

"You nerds," Farah said before giving it to Danny.

The redhead opened it with shaking hands.

_You better be. You ruined my mashed potatoes. X(_

Danny roared in laughter.

For the rest of the time left, paper planes flew with songs written on them, delivering smiles to those who received it.

* * *

 

Danny stared at the ceiling. Weird how each ceiling felt the same, blank and boring, save for the light that illuminated the room. She played with Laura's hair to pass the time as her tiny girlfriend tried to study for her Biology quiz tomorrow. Danny's fingers walked on the length of Laura's arm, accompanied by little sound effects, until it reached Laura's hand. Laura smiled up to her and squeezed her hand.

"What are you thinking about?" Laura asked, resting her notebook on her chest.

"What number I should choose for my jersey," Danny answered. Laura pouted.

"What?" Danny teased. She knew too well why Laura was making that face.

"Maybe I should change my statement. I was thinking that maybe you should choose my jersey number," Danny smiled, just as Laura did. Laura thought for a moment then came up with an answer.

"18!"

"18? But it would be the same number I've been choosing for the last several years."

"No, no. You don't understand," Laura said, sitting up and her face hovering Danny's.

"One is a singularity. Eight, if turned sideways, would become an infinity. A single infinity. One infinity unique," Laura explained.

"Or it could just be my birthday," Danny said. Laura rolled her eyes and lay back down to resume her studying.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Danny said, planting kisses on Laura's forehead. "I knew what you meant. It was just that you are entirely too sweet."

Laura huffed but she tried to hide a smile, which Danny captured with her lips.

"18 then, to symbolize our undying love for each other,” Danny teased. Laura shoved Danny and laughed.

“To infinity and beyond!" Danny shouted.

"You little nerd."

" _Your_ little nerd."

* * *

 

Danny was rushing, putting mascara on, when the doorbell rang. She couldn't make her guest wait; she might freeze out there. Danny shoved the wand back to its container and then checked herself out in the mirror. She patted down the ruffles of her black dress that ended way above her knees. She hadn't managed to do her hair but it didn't matter anymore, she had no time. Danny hurried to the door and opened it. It revealed a Laura pulling on her trench coat tightly. Danny let her in before Laura lost the feeling in her extremities. The redhead closed the door to keep the cold out and offered to take Laura's coat off. Once Danny got her coat off and Laura got her boots off, Laura had a good look at Danny.

"You look... Wow," Laura said. Danny felt her cheeks and shoulders burn red.

"Thanks, I mean you--"

Danny's words were caught in her throat when she finally had a chance to see Laura in her dress. She had a white top with a little black ribbon, like a bowtie, and a black skirt that was just right above her knees. Her hair was put up and braided, some loose strands to shape her face. She was beautiful.

"I mean you're wow too," Danny said too loudly.

She tousled her hair and attempted to avert her eyes but how could she? Her girlfriend was standing in front of her, blushing and so utterly cute; Danny forgot that she had something planned for tonight. Danny snapped from her stupor; they couldn't be gazing at each other the whole night. She took Laura's hand and led her into Danny and Annie's bedroom.

"Okay, whatever you do, don't touch anything," Danny warned.

Laura was tempted to flick the light open when she entered the dark room but it was a good thing that Danny told her off just in time. Danny let go of her hand to kneel down and fumble over something on the floor. With one click, it was like magic filled the room. Red, green, blue, orange, maybe rainbows filled the room, rainbows from floating lanterns. They were glowing orbs, lights filtered by paper. Laura must have walked into an unknown cave where the light reflected on the water. Danny smiled at her gaping girlfriend and offered her hand to dance to the music playing from her mini-speaker. Laura finally took Danny's hand and they danced in the little space of a bedroom cluttered with toys and books (Danny tried her best to organize it but to no avail). Laura giggled as Danny twirled her under her fingers. Laura almost stumbled because she stepped on a stuffed animal's leg but Danny swooped her up. When the instrumental came on, Laura rested her head on Danny's chest and listened to her heartbeat, steady.

"Thank you," Laura whispered. Danny kissed the top of her head.

"You're welcome," Danny replied, hugging her impossibly closer.

"This is the best winter dance I could have gone to," Laura said as she looked up to Danny.

"Sorry I had to keep you to myself. You look so beautiful tonight," Danny smiled and touched Laura's cheek.

Laura tiptoed and placed her hand behind Danny's neck so she could kiss her. It was slow, sweet and filled with smiles. When they parted, Danny stared at Laura with such an intensity that Laura had to pull her down for another kiss.

That was how it was that night. Kisses and dances and music. Laughter and sweet-nothings. Snowflakes decorated the window like they were jealous of the lovers covered in coloured lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also heads up! The following chapters are a tribute to my multishipping trash tendencies so yeah.


	8. Kun(g)diman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know that running thing with Carmilla fanfiction: Hollence first then Hollstein later? This is basically the start of it but don't worry, this will still end in Hollence.
> 
> Danny decides what she thinks is best for the both of them.

Scrambling through the door of her piano school, Laura was already late. Mr. Flores would be furious with her again. Her recital was coming up and it wasn't entirely Laura's fault that she had been staying up late absorbed in practicing then taking a nap at Danny's place the next day. Danny should have woken her but Danny said she didn't have the heart to wake her up when she was sleeping peacefully.

 

As Laura made her way to her assigned room, she heard someone playing a similar piece she was practicing. Usually, the rooms were soundproof but it looked like someone left their door open while they played. Laura was stunned by how different it sounded from how she played it. The notes moved fast like electricity and the sound was thunder, not deafening and jarring, but it was smooth and terrifyingly accurate to every note. Laura couldn’t resist not to be drawn by the music. She let her feet take her to the doorway and there she saw a girl with a hair like the feathers of a raven. Laura watched her pale fingers moved smoothly on the piano until the piece softened and came to a stop.

“How long are you gonna stand there, cupcake?” the girl spoke, her voice as compelling as her music.

 

Laura had not realized that she was gaping. Flustered, she couldn’t find the words to reply. The girl turned around and smirked at her.

“I was just-- I was going to… Um,” Laura stammered.

“Carmilla, let’s get started with your lesson!” Mr. Vordenberg shouted while coming in through the doorway. He looked at Laura and his face lit up with recognition.

“Oh, Laura dear, I’m afraid Mr. Flores is looking for you. You better get going before he gets any older like me,” Mr. Vordenberg said.

 

Laura nodded quickly and escaped the room before she could embarrass herself further. The last sound she heard was a chuckle from that mysterious girl she heard named Carmilla. Laura hoped she could hear more of her music, both her piano and her laughter.

 

//

 

If there was a way to describe it, it was probably a pianissimo. Danny was never too sure. She never learned to read the music sheet; she always just loved to listen to Laura play, but she never noticed how the melody had gone soft, too soft for Danny to hear the little important things. Laura was drifting farther from Danny, note by note, fading. Danny never drew the line so Laura wandered off, without her. Of course, Laura wasn’t hers to own, but she knew Laura's heart belonged to her. Did it? Doesn’t a heart change like people do? Ever so constantly, unpredictably?

 

Who was that girl she mentioned? What was her name? Ah, Carmilla. The double bar line of their piece. She sounded cool, mysterious, and talented. She came from a world that Laura knew so well and loved. Laura looked up to her so much just as she would have looked at the stars.

“Carmilla’s fingers are so pale and slender, and they’re so good with the piano keys,” Laura said, looking at her own hands.

 

Danny knew what Laura was thinking from the way she looked at her hands. They were not beautiful enough for her. Danny took Laura's hands and kissed them to reassure her that those were, in fact, the most beautiful hands Danny had ever seen. Laura slowly took them away from Danny's and looked at them again.

“Of course, you’d say that,” she said.

“Doesn’t make it false,” Danny argued.

“And also you haven’t seen hers so you can’t compare fairly,” she pointed out.

 

That was when she thought it was the best idea that Danny and Carmilla should meet. Danny knew this would not go too well, but she agreed anyway because it was Laura and it wasn’t too bad meeting new friends, right? So Danny agreed to meet up in a fast-food restaurant that was close by Laura’s piano school. Danny came in too early so she saved a table but she couldn't save herself from the green-eyed monster Shakespeare described so well. Laura was laughing and her eyes were glistening. It was the look of admiration Danny knew so well.

 

Who was Carmilla? This bland black-haired girl with a lacy black top and black leather pants plus black boots to complete the outfit for her possibly black soul. Yes, she was beautiful, pale, and languid. Yes, her smile was cute, but Danny couldn’t focus on anything positive when she reciprocated the same look Laura had for her.

 

Did it help that Carmilla had a girlfriend? Yes. Did it help that it was a known fact that she liked girls too? No.

 

Danny trusted Laura but with the look she had been giving Carmilla and the way she animatedly talked to her about music, made Danny's heart waver. It was so stupid to think this way and it poisoned Danny's thoughts. They never went away especially when every Friday, this was the scenario Danny had to put up with. Laura and Carmilla coming from their lessons to hang out and sometimes Ell, Carmilla’s girlfriend, would join them. Danny always felt like she's behind about everything. Laura always talked about the upcoming recital. Even Ell could blend in since she had voice lessons but, Danny? What was she? This world wasn’t meant for her. Then why be here? Why not leave and spare herself the awkward agreeing nods, the silent sipping and chewing of straws to avoid conversation?

 

Of course, an opportunity would present itself, but always not in a way one would expect. Danny's mother handed her an envelope. Her smile said it all but Danny dreaded it. Yes, Danny was happy in some way, that she did it; she got in with a full scholarship. She was going to Silas University next year, which was in Austria. Far away from Laura. Oh, Laura. How would she even begin to explain this situation to her?

 

Laura was resting her head on Danny's lap while Danny read Hamlet and she didn’t know how to break it to her so Danny says:

“Did you know that Hamlet was set in Denmark and Denmark is in Europe and have I mentioned that I’m going there next year?” 

 

Laura quickly sat up and looked at Danny with wide eyes, her mouth open. It turned into a big goofy smile and she tackled Danny with a hug.

“I’m so happy for you! Why didn’t you tell me?” were the words Danny didn’t expect to hear.

 

“Don’t go. I’ll miss you.” Those were the words Danny longed for because she knew she'd follow them in a heartbeat.

 

Maybe Laura wouldn’t miss Danny too bad.

 

//

 

After two years of being out of school, this was the day Danny dreamed of, graduation day.  Danny remembers when she and her past friends talked about the future and how all of them would all make it past high school together, and join in the senior prank of letting wild chickens loose on school grounds, but now Danny had different friends and a girlfriend smiling, waving at her for a picture. The camera flashed and Laura hugged Danny so tight.

"Congratulations!" she said. Danny smiled. In just a year, she'd be graduating too and wearing a grad gown probably too long unlike Danny's. She wonders if she'd make it back home just in time for Laura's graduation.

 

After Elsie steps onto the stage, Danny knew it was her turn. She took a breath and looked at the audience, families and friends, before she made her way to the principal. It was a sight so similar to that one night in February, she and Laura looking at the city lights. This time Laura was among the crowd of lights but Danny always managed to know where she was. She always waved her hand to let Danny know that she would never get lost, no, that Danny would never lose her.

 

Never.

 

Danny took a step forward and received her diploma.

 

//

 

After graduation and after summer passed with many awkward hangouts with the music kids but also equally fun ones with the usual squad, Danny decided that it was best to finally treat Laura to a fancy date before she had to go. A date where they could see the city lights but not on the freezing hilltop. A date for one night, just the two of them.

 

Danny checked the balance of her bank account. She might be able to afford it for one night up at the top of the Calgary tower. She called to make the reservation and after that, she punched number one into her speed dial. She reminded Laura to wear something nice on a Wednesday night.

  


//

 

Danny looked over herself for the last time. Her windsor knot, which she painstakingly redid several times for half an hour, was tight and neat. She smiled at the ridiculous colour of mustard yellow and orange, but it was her father's. She patted down her suit as if she could straighten out any more creases. Her mother peeked from the door and smiled.

"Darling, you look wonderful." she said.

"Thank you," Danny beamed.

"Do you think I should do my hair or..." Danny tried asking for her mother's suggestion.

"Just leave it be. It contrasts perfectly with your neat look." she smiled.

 

Annie came running into the bathroom and almost bumped into Danny when their mother scooped her up just in time. The little kid reached out to Danny and wanted to be carried by her sister. Her little fingers were curling inward and outward, her face filled with wonder.

“Pretty.” Annie beamed. Danny kissed her nose and they both laughed. She tried to resist taking her sister from her mother’s arms and hug her tight.

“Thank you, kiddo.” Danny said, rubbing their noses together. Her mother glanced at the clock.

“It’s 5:38. Maybe you should go or you might be late,” her mother reminded.

 

Danny nodded and returned to her room to grab her phone and her wallet. In her hurry, she knocked over the little jar of salt Mary had given her on her birthday. Danny felt a shiver run down her body as if a ghost had escaped, something terrible she had unleashed, but she shook it off and propped up the jar again.

 

Nothing could go wrong tonight. Especially when the sky was clear and the summer breeze was soothing.

 

//

Danny surveyed the restaurant. She thought it would be as spacious as the pictures suggested but she couldn’t argue. It was literally a restaurant on top of a tower that revolves every hour so there wouldn’t be as much space to move in. One of the attendants helped her get to one of the tables by the large glass windows. For a while, Danny was distracted by how high up she was from the city. The sky was like a rose-coloured sea covered by sands of clouds. Danny was pulled back from her wonder when the attendant introduced herself and asked if she wanted anything to drink. Danny opted for water since she was still waiting for Laura.

 

Danny didn’t understand why Laura asked her to wait for her up in the restaurant. Danny imagined her and Laura walking into the restaurant together, in awe of the view. Danny would have loved to see Laura’s reaction, the way her eyes would widen by surprise, the way she softly gasps, and the way she’d look for Danny’s hand to hold. It would have been good but not everything goes the way one would imagine it to be.

 

Laura hadn’t replied for fifteen minutes now and Danny was starting to worry. She glanced at her watch every 5 minutes and at the elevator, for the chance that it would open and reveal Laura. She finished her first glass of water and the attendant, Linda, if Danny remembered correctly, asked if she wanted to order any appetizers while waiting. Danny was adamant on just having water for now.

 

7:30PM. Oddly, the sun had set completely. The streetlights came to life. Buildings, although emptied of employees, were lit up. One could see a few cars go down lifeless roads. Calgary was a quaint city. It was peaceful and beautiful and lacked neon lights, but its citylights were like reflections of light on the waves of a calm sea.

 

Danny sighed and drummed her fingers on the table. She had watched the family in front of her take a group picture for the 5th time and eavesdropped on a conversation about stocks and Canadian oil companies. Nothing too interesting. Danny checked her phone again. Still no messages.

 

8:00PM Danny had gone to the washroom to call Laura. It took a few calls before Laura answered the phone. It didn’t seem like Laura was expecting any calls or planning to call Danny about what was happening. She sounded tired over the phone and Danny heard muffled sobs then punctuated swears.

“Hey, Laura,” Danny started.

“Oh, God. Danny!” Danny heard Laura’s facepalm over the phone.

“I, I - um - I’m sorry. I should have called. I should have told you --”

“Fuck you!” a hoarse voice shouted over the phone.

“Told me what, Laura?” Danny could feel the anger rising in her but she tried to breathe it back down.

“About Carmilla. She’s --” Danny heard a crash and another swear.

“A mess, if you can hear that.” Laura continued.

“Ell cheated on her with her best friend and now she’s alone and I don’t know if she’ll be fine on her own until her sister comes home. I’m really sorry, Danny. I really am. I wish it didn’t have to be today but,” Laura sighed, “she needs me.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“It’s okay. Just… Just take care, okay?” Danny said, breathing back the disappointment welling up in her.

 

She hung up and looked back at the mirror. She looked pathetic now, with her wild mane and her ridiculous tie. She took a deep breath and blinked back unshed tears before she went out of the washroom. Linda came around again and asked if she wanted anything.

 

Danny forced a smile and said yes. She looked out to the night sky. She guessed that maybe Laura would be happier with the stars.

 

//

 

“How’s Carmilla?” Danny asked as soon as Laura entered. Laura flopped down on Danny’s lap before she could answer.

“She’s… doing better than last week,” Laura said. Danny adjusted her position on the bed so that Laura could rest her head and not be in an uncomfortable position.

“She’s not taking the whole break-up thing too well.”

“I imagine,” Danny said, stroking Laura’s hair. Danny could see the fatigue in the shadow under Laura’s eyes, in the way her breaths felt laboured.

 

“Would you be able to handle it?”

 

The separation, the pain, the loneliness…

 

“What?” Laura asked as if she didn’t hear Danny properly.

“Would you be able to handle it?” Danny repeated; she stopped stroking Laura’s hair. Laura sat upright now, eyes leveled with Danny’s.

“You mean -- You’ve been…” Laura’s voice trailed off, unable to complete her sentence. Something clicked in Danny’s head. That wasn’t what she meant.

“What? No! I haven’t -- I would never!” Danny panicked. Never, even possibly in other alternate universes, would she cheat on Laura Hollis. Laura’s expression softened but she was still alarmed by what Danny had asked.

 

“I’m going away in a few weeks, Laura.”

“What? That doesn’t mean we can’t make it happen. There’s always Skype calls and Christmas breaks.” Laura said, taking Danny’s face in her hands. Danny saw the unshed tears in Laura’s eyes. She placed a hand over Laura’s and bowed her head. She wanted to kiss her own pain away, to savour this moment forever with her, but that would be too selfish.

“I don’t trust myself to trust you. Jealousy, I know, will consume me and turn me into a monster.”

“Is it because of Carmilla? Is it because of that night?  We talked about this before and you know that --”

“Yes.” No, it’s not just her. For every person who can hug Laura while she can’t. For every moment, Laura needs someone she won’t be there. It pained her, it pained her. Her own absence from another person’s life.

“But, Danny --”

“It’s for the best,” Danny answered.

“For the best? Since when do you get to decide that for me?” Laura demanded.

“Why?” Laura’s voice softened, defeated.

 

_I want you to be free and experience the world without the ghost of my presence tying you down._

 

Danny stared into Laura’s eyes and hoped to convey what she felt. Laura leaned in for their last but she withdrew the last second and shook her head. Laura understood that it would melt Danny’s resolve.

 

The day Laura stepped out of her room was the last day she saw her.

 

//

 

Danny had a checklist before she had to go. Clothes, passport, plane ticket, wallet, toiletries... Her phone. Laura had seriously avoided her. Part of Danny hoped that Laura would have called or left a goodbye message, but nothing came. It was funny how she was the one who wanted this, who thought that this was for the best, but look at her. She grabbed the jacket Laura had given her for her birthday. It was not an unknown fact that part of her still belonged to Laura, longed for Laura.

 

This was it. She couldn't go back now. She kissed the top of Annie's head. She couldn't swallow the fact of leaving the little kid for a while but she knew she had to. Danny knew that it was harder to say goodbye than leaving without saying it, but she went and said goodbye to her father.

"Good luck and chase your dreams, Danny. Don't forget to take care of yourself," Ric said, squeezing her hand. He knew that it was for Danny's future that she had to go, but he also knew that this was also an escape from the pain.

"I will. I promise. I love you, Dad."

"I love you too."

 

Danny's mother accompanied her to the airport, waited around with her until she had to go pass the security check. Danny hugged her mother tight. Her mother returned it with equal fervour.

"I'm going to miss you, Danny. Don't forget to call when you get there and every once in awhile, okay?" her mother said. Danny nodded.

 

She searched the the surroundings before she went in. Maybe she'd see someone running towards her for a final cliched goodbye, but no, nothing. She gave her boarding pass to the officer and she went in.

 

Danny looked out the airplane  window. City lights of Calgary were growing smaller each second. Scattered lights like her thoughts. Each light led her back home, each street resembled a maze of pain and memory, the maze of her brown eyes, the tracks of her smile. City lights were much better from the airplane window, much better to be viewed alone, much better to be far off. Forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from the song Kundiman by Silent Sanctuary. It's a pun on the word 'kundiman' which means 'love song' but it also goes with the contraction of the phrase 'kung hindi man' which means 'if not.' The song is a 'tribute to a lover' but the speaker of the song acknowledges the fact that they might not stay together but even 'if' they're 'not' together, they will still support their lover.
> 
> I just wanted to share that with you. :)


	9. A Good Few

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny tries to adjust to life in Silas. She hopes that the distance will help with moving on from Laura. Spoiler: she doesn't really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I squeezed in a little Lawdorf in this chapter. I'm sorry that it's really brief though.

One, two.

 

The muffled guitar riffs and drums disturbed the quiet atmosphere of picturesque Styria.

 

One, two.

 

Picturesque Styria, indeed.The lush bushes, which survived through the autumn, and trees kept the temperature down. The clarity of the lake close by Silas University reflected the clear sky. The cool colour mix of green and blue was calming to the eye. The heavy electric guitar didn’t suit the atmosphere. Another melody played in Danny’s head, quieter and softer. 

 

One, two.

 

Danny’s breaths came out as puffs of white smoke. The temperature had been declining in early October but Danny found it refreshing. Counting in her head and seeing her breaths calmed her down.

 

One --

 

“Goddammit, you little shrimp!” 

 

Danny bumped into a bulky guy in his signature gray muscle tee. Luckily, she didn’t fall on the ground, but this guy did, and it made Danny feel a little less angry. 

“You better watch yourself, psycho,” Theo said while picking himself up and dusting off his clothes. 

 

Danny clenched her fists and counted in her head. One, two. She wouldn’t let her temper overwhelm her. One, two. She tried to hold her breath. No, fuck that.

“You’re the one who’s supposed to be watching where you’re going!” Danny shoved Theo.

 

He didn’t back down. He chuckled, gesturing to his minions how indignant he was about this redhead chick trying to threaten him.

“Ha! Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m going to be the future president of the Zeta Omega Mu!”

“Oh, future alpha troublemaker, so scary,” Danny mocked.

“You’ll see. I can get you in so much trouble; you’ll be begging for me to stop,” Theo smirked. 

“Bring it.”

 

He motioned for his buddies to go and not waste more with this hotheaded chick. Theo was all bark but no bite, but Danny knew if that guy had too much power, he wouldn’t leave Danny alone. Danny needed to join a club or sorority soon. She needed allies, and more importantly, distractions.

 

Danny continued on with her jogging. 

 

One, two.

 

She was not finished with her morning jog. She needed to turn on the corner of University St. Then after that, she’s done. 

 

One --

 

Goddammit. Not again. But this time, the other person didn’t fall on their butt. Danny’s fuse blew too quickly. She didn’t have the time to process who she bumped into or what had happened. 

“Goddammit! The second time this morning! What is up with you people and not looking?” Danny complained. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I was -- I was trying to run away from this thing and, and you know this happened,” this girl explained quickly. 

 

Once Danny had a good look at her, she reminded her of Annie. Same playful curls and same complexion but different ethnicities. The girl was still frantically trying to explain her situation just like Annie excusing her way out of staining Danny’s favourite shirts. 

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. It’s just -- look where you’re going next time,” Danny said. 

“Yes, yes but you see,” the girl pointed at the people behind her. 

 

Tall shadow figures loomed along the main university street. Danny rubbed her eyes and squinted to make sure that what she was seeing was real. She was about to be convinced that those were real until she saw a glint of gold while they were walking. Everyone in Silas University knew that there was only one person who would wear golden boots and set up this nasty prank. 

“Alpha troublemaker, Goldman,” Danny murmured. 

“What?” 

“Edward Goldman. Current president of the Zeta Omega Douche. See that glint of gold by their feet?” 

“Yeah.” the girl, who reminded her of her sister, fixed her glasses.

“It’s his signifier of authority and royalty.”

“Oh…”

“Let’s go. You don’t want to get into any more trouble.” Danny pulled the girl along with her.

 

That’s probably it for her morning jog. So much for trying to be fit and healthy. To be fair, the Zeta Omega Mus were never good for anything especially for this vulnerable girl who seemed like a first year same as Danny. 

“Who are you, anyway, and why are you so angry with those frat boys -- Wait! Are you part of the Summer Society?” the girl asked.

“Summer Society?”

“You know that outdoor recreational club for all-girls athletics, um, kind of like a sorority?” 

“No?”

“They’re always against the Zetas so I thought you were part of them…” The girl looked away.

“Tell me more. I’ve been wanting to join a club or sorority anyway so…”

“They’re mostly looking for female powerhouses or more like under the category of skilled hunters for Artemis. It’s my family legacy. Every woman in my family has at least served the goddess herself in different forms. Now it’s my turn but look at me. I’m no powerhouse. I’m just, well, me.”

“To think that there is only one way to be a strong woman is an ideological trap. Be you -- um what’s your name again?”

“Mel, Melanippe Callis.”

“Be the best that you think you can be, Mel.” Danny smiled. 

“Thank you, um --”

“Danny, Danny Lawrence.” she offered her hand. 

 

Mel shook Danny’s hand with a firm grip. They promised to join the sorority together and Danny was glad because it was a start of a good friendship.

 

* * *

What does a girl have to do to keep her roommate motivated to clean? Donuts and coffee. Danny’s roommate sounded like a stereotypical white cop. She liked to snoop around, and ask too many questions, but for the most part, she’s great at making spot-on deductions. Overall, she’s a nice gal.

 

Danny came in with her promised donuts and coffee. She saw how Jessie’s bed had been pre-emptively made because usually, she only fixed it as soon as she got coffee. 

“I take it your Anthropology midterm this morning went well?” Danny set down a cup of coffee and a box of donuts.

“I can assure you; it’s the opposite,” the blonde spoke.

“Hm. You okay?” Danny sat on her bed.

“More than okay.”

 

Jessie turned to face Danny with a smug look on her face. Something’s up and Jessie’s all over it. She easily guessed the high school sweetheart thing pretty easily so what else was there left to smile so slyly about?

“I don’t want to know what you’re up to but we have to clean our room because Mel is coming over,” Danny said. 

“Have you been talking to your ex lately?” Jessie grinned.

“What do you mean?” 

“33 missed calls from Laura who is definitely not your mother or your cute little sister.” Jessie produced a phone from her pocket. Danny snatched it back. 

“Jessie! We already talked about not touching my stuff!” Danny complained as she checked on her phone.

 

It’s true. 33 missed calls from Laura, 10 from her mom. This did not look good. 

“Your ringtone was annoying as fuck so I had to check, y’know. But that doesn’t matter anymore because I’m gonna fail anyway. Also, who the fuck leaves their phone in the dorm room?” Jessie said, taking a bite out of her chocolate frosted donut.

 

Danny ignored Jessie and set up her laptop for a Skype call. Doing international calls might be the fastest way but this would have to do. She looked back to her phone and considered if she should call Laura or not. It’s too early in the morning right now in that side of that world. Danny hoped that her family was still awake. 

 

Angie Lawrence was still online and her status was asking for Danny to call her immediately. Danny clicked on the icon to call her mother. She hoped nothing too bad happened but remembering that Laura was somehow involved, she knew it was bound to be bad. 

“Danny!” her mother picked up after the first ring. A pixelated face of her mom popped up. 

“What’s up? What happened?” Danny asked. The image became clearer and she saw her mother sigh.

“Thank God it wasn’t any worse, Danny. We almost lost Annie today.”

“What do you mean?”

“She wanted to see --” Angie paused and looked directly at the camera “--Laura, but I told her she couldn’t so instead we went to the playground. I looked away for a moment and she was gone!”

“Gone to find Laura?” Her name felt like a lump in her throat.

“Yes.”

“Where is she now?”

 

Her mother moved the laptop to show Annie sleeping on the bed. She was curled up and she tugged the blanket tightly. Danny sighed in relief and the adrenaline drained out of her. Her heartbeat started to pace again when her mother brought up Laura again. 

“You should call her,” Angie said. Danny nodded.

“She was the one who found Annie,” Angie added. Again, Danny just nodded. 

“I’m going back to sleep, honey. But I think it is for the best that you call Laura when you can.”

 

And with that, her mother ended the call. 

“Good thing your sister is safe, huh,” Jessie remarked, appearing beside Danny and looking at the screen as if she’s involved.

“Yeah,” that’s what all Danny could reply. 

 

Danny checked her Skype contacts. Laura was offline or maybe invisible. She wouldn’t know. She checked her phone again. Was it a good time to call? Was it worth it? Danny knew that if she didn’t call now or today then she would delay it until she would forget that she had to call Laura. 

“What the fuck are you waiting for? Just call her.” Jessie snatched the phone from her and pressed Laura’s name. Unfortunately, it speed-dialled Laura’s number.

“Jessie!” Danny tried to take back her phone. A few rings later, they both hear a faint Hello. 

“All yours, pumpkin.”

“Hey! Laura! I’m sorry I called you at this time! It might not be the best time! I can call you later if you want it’s okay yeah we can do this later,” Danny sputtered. She glared at Jessie for good measure then focused on listening to Laura’s response. 

“I actually planned to stay up and wait for your call. But I guess I fell asleep.” Danny could almost hear the awkward smile Laura makes when she gets all nervous.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.”

 

An awkward silence started and Danny didn’t know what to say. It has been a month or so since the last time she talked to Laura. Sometimes she’d catch herself wanting to message Laura about her day. Now that her opportunity is at hand, she was at a loss for words. 

“Did you want to say something or…? Because you know, international calls can be quite expensive,” Laura started.

“I’m sorry,” Danny shook her head, “Thank you for today. I heard you helped find Annie today.”

“You’re welcome, I guess. It was my fault to begin with, anyway.” Danny heard her sigh over the phone. 

 

Danny missed bending down to touch Laura’s forehead with hers so that she could distract Laura from what’s bothering her whenever she sighed. Danny missed being Laura’s pillar of support. She missed being with Laura.

“It’s not your fault. I should have told Annie about us,” Danny confessed.

 

Another sigh and another pause.

“You were only trying to protect her, right?” Laura guessed what she was thinking. 

“But it’s opposite of what you wanted to happen,” Laura continued. 

 

Like how Danny tried to protect her from the hurt of separation. But maybe that’s the opposite of what Danny really wanted. Maybe Danny just wanted to protect herself from the hurt that she was exactly feeling right now. The kind of pain that’s empty but at the same time, so heavy to carry. At this point, who is she even trying to protect? 

“Maybe Annie wanted us to talk. It hasn’t been a year, Danny, and I still love you,” Laura admitted. 

 

How does one reply to that, Danny wondered. Does she have the right to return the same feelings when she was the reason who broke them up in the first place? 

“I would have followed you. Continuing piano in Europe would have been nice, but I’m not so sure now…”

 

Danny wasn’t sure what she could answer to that. Part of her wants Laura to come but at the same time, she still wants to be away from her.

“Carmilla told me I should just take general studies for a while…”

“Carmilla’s right,” Danny finally spoke.

“You think so?”

“Mm-hmm. I mean it’s going to be expensive but… If you have some vague goal in mind, it’s a start.” 

“Carmilla said the exact same thing.”

 

It  _ must  _ be fun being compared to Carmilla. Finding the things that they were similar to… Danny wondered why Carmilla and Laura weren’t a couple yet. Maybe Carmilla had the same fears like Danny had or --

“She also asked me out.”

 

Not.

 

“She did before she quit piano.”

“Congratulations, I knew you would be a great --”

“I haven’t said yes yet,” Laura cut off Danny’s words.

“You should,” Danny said, firmly gripping her phone. 

 

How hard does one have to bite their lip to stop themselves from crying or to start bleeding out the pain? She tried to breath normally, careful not to give away the shaky breaths when she was about to cry.

“How could I? When I’m still in love with you!” Danny heard the crack in Laura’s voice. 

 

Danny heard the sobs over the phone and she knew she’d done it again. She fucked up again. And she was about to do it again. The  _ right _ thing to do or so she thought. 

“We both have to move on,” Danny began. 

“How?”

 

_ I don’t know, I don’t know. My head knows what my heart cannot do. _

 

“You move to a second, a third, a fourth until you find yourself forgetting how it feels like to love me!” Danny answered, shaking, almost crying. 

 

She said what she had to say or what she believed the only thing she can do to forget Laura. Great advice coming from someone who can’t even follow it. Maybe it wasn’t great at all. It was terrible, terrible advice if none of them can follow it. 

“Fine. Then I’ll say yes.”

 

As to why Danny smiled when Laura said this, there’s only one reason. Laura could be happy. Danny believed in that, but her tears told otherwise. Laura could have been happy with her. Yet, it’s too late now. No turning back. 

“Goodbye, Laura.” 

 

Danny hung up the phone, wiped her tears, and returned her attention to Jessie. At least the blonde gal had the decency of not eating all the donuts. She was about to say something but Danny shook her head then took a donut. Mel knocked on their door and Danny welcomed her in. It was as if nothing had happened because Danny was laughing at Mel and Jessie’s jokes like it was their normal Thursday afternoon. Maybe it was time to follow one’s own terrible advice despite knowing it would fail. 

* * *

It was different. A year ago, Danny would try to stay away from trouble as much as possible. She devised her morning routes not to run into trouble but now, she can put trouble back in its place. She’d been welcomed into the Summer Society, along with Jessie and Mel, and her seniors keep telling her how she has so much potential to be president if she keeps up the good work of taking care of Zeta troubles.

 

Even though Danny was a powerhouse in the making, first day of classes still proved to be a problem, only because it brought out certain memories she would rather forget. Someone took the seat next to her in Art History class and Danny was sure it could have been Jessie, if she was more serious about her 8 AM classes. The blonde girl was almost as tall as her, Danny guessed from the way she sat uncomfortably on the desk chair that universities provide to maximize space. She had a clean white button-up blouse and her hair was tied back, although Danny saw how short it was. This girl was all set. She had her pencil out and her notebook marked with today’s date plus the book that they probably wouldn’t have to read for the first day. 

“You know it’s rude to stare but since I didn’t even ask if this seat was taken, I guess we’re even,” said the girl who finally stopped and properly looked at Danny. 

“Fair enough. So I guess,” Danny ran a hand through her hair, “Hi? I, uh, I’m Danny.”

“I know who you are. Top of the Literary Theory class. Won a gold on the 100m sprint. Summer Society member that all the guys are talking about. Danny Lawrence. Of course, I’d take a chance to sit with someone I look up to,” the blonde stated.

 

Danny was curious if this girl took this class specifically to be with her and how this girl managed to hide the slightest hint of being nervous in front of the person she admired. This made her even more nervous to live up to this ideal but she decided to play it cool. 

“Huh, I thought we were the same height. How can you look up to someone the same height as you?” Danny joked. 

“You can try better than that,” the girl chuckled and bit her lip. 

 

Danny’s stomach made a flip. Well, it’s been awhile since it did that. 

“So is there a name that I should be signing to this autograph?” Danny asked as she pulled out her notebook and pen from her bag. 

“Elizabeth Spielsdorf. But Betty is fine too.”

“Well, Betty, it is a pleasure to meet you.”

“A pleasure to finally meet you, Danny Lawrence.” Betty smiled.

 

Danny watched as Betty tucked her hair behind her ear. Danny finally saw a hint of shyness as Betty’s eyes glance to the side, yet her bold move to unbutton two buttons while Danny was clearly staring, threw Danny off again. It’s just the first day of classes. Danny wanted to laugh because it’s happening again. It’s the first day and already someone stole her gaze. Then again, she needed the distraction as if being part of a sorority wasn’t enough distraction for her. 

“So that autograph you were saying?” Betty pulled Danny out of her stupor.

“Uh, oh, yeah.”

 

Danny quickly wrote her name and her number. 

“Let’s get coffee sometime, yeah?” Danny said as she gave the paper to Betty. 

 

Sometime in Danny’s head was the exact time right after their first class together. Except coffee wasn’t exactly what Danny was going for. It was a different kind of heat she was looking for. She knew she shouldn’t be like this. It was the first day, their first meeting, yet she couldn’t stop staring at Betty’s lips as she occasionally bit her pen. Sometimes, Betty would side glance at her and she would have that little smile. Danny knew Betty didn’t sit next to her because she merely admired her. It was more than that. Maybe it was time for her to be more confident too.

“You got this,” Danny muttered to herself. 

 

It was high time she should finally ask someone out. After the class ended, they walked out the room together. Danny stopped herself from dragging Betty to the nearest hidden corner and kiss her against the wall. She knew she was rusty at this dating game but she had her own rules. Before she could speak, Betty had excused herself first:

“Hey, I have another class after this. So maybe I’ll catch you later?”

“Uh, yeah. See you later,” Danny sounded dejected.

 

As Danny looked away to not show her disappointment, Betty stepped closer to her and kissed her right by the edge of her lips. 

“I’ll call you then we can compare notes, okay?” Betty chimed as she waved and walked away.

 

Touching the spot where Betty kissed her, Danny was dumbfounded. English major, loss for words. Incredible. So close and they could have… Danny didn’t want to think about it or else she wouldn’t be able to focus for her next class, which is like an hour away, or she wouldn’t be able to deal with the frustration for an hour. Most of the students have gone to their classes and if Danny didn’t move now, then one of the Zetas might see her looking stupid and make fun of her. Danny definitely wanted to go for a run right now.

* * *

The next time she sees Betty, the blonde was already sitting by the window with her notes all over the table, her fingers twirling a pen. Betty always looked like she was attending a job interview with how clean and neat her attire was. But the glasses, oh god, the glasses were doing things to Danny’s brain. She felt bad for showing up in her usual baseball tee and green pants. It’s not actually a date, right? Why should she feel bad? This was casual, nothing special, yet Danny wanted more out of this. She wanted to speed things up.

 

She stood by beside Betty’s table instead of saying hi to her. She waited until Betty noticed her.

“You know it’s rude to stare and not say hi first,” Betty said without looking up from revising her notes on the international phonetic alphabet.

“Yeah, sorry. I wasn’t sure it was you,” Danny referred to the glasses.

 

Betty finally looked up. She pushed up her glasses and gave Danny one of the dorkiest smiles she’s ever seen. Danny blushed and probably smiled like an awkward idiot who would smile forcibly in front of a camera.

“Since you were late for like,” Betty glanced at her watch, “five minutes, and for being rude, you have to buy me coffee.”

 

Danny didn’t understand how this girl was so forward with her, especially since it’s their second meeting as ‘friends,’ heck, acquaintances, or maybe it was just Betty being Betty.

“Anything specific you like?” Danny asked, guessing Betty was the type of girl who had a specific coffee order perfectly made for her. 

“Anything with caffeine is fine. Surprise me, Lawrence,” Betty winked. This girl would be the death of her.

 

Now surprise, surprise was something Danny can do. She bended down, pulled Betty’s collar, and kissed her right smack on her lips. Danny pulled back immediately, but she felt Betty’s fingers pulling her back for another one.

“Screw coffee. I’m the only caffeine you need,” Danny whispered.

 

Those were the only words needed for Betty to break out of character and scramble for her papers. Danny was sure Betty was tempted to slide everything off the table and just go straight to make out territory in the middle of the students’ work day. 

“Yours or mine?” Betty asked while finishing up.

“I like Jessie but she’s a little shit.”

“Mine then,” Betty laughed. 

 

Danny was never happier to be dragged away from a coffee shop. 

* * *

Betty fumbled for her keys, but she dropped it when Danny planted a kiss on her neck.

“You’re not helping,” Betty giggled.

“Yeah, I am,” Danny said, tangling their fingers together with keys in her hands.

“Of course.” Betty realized, of course, Danny ‘super athletic’ Lawrence caught the keys in her hands.

 

It took a while before they inserted the right key into the lock. Even longer to turn the knob and open the door. Danny had turned Betty to face her so she could kiss her. Betty loved the feel of Danny’s hair in her hands as they kissed. She tugged it whenever Danny slid her tongue in. In the heat of the moment, Danny managed to pull Betty closer to her while opening the door. 

 

Danny didn’t want to step in yet, but she wanted to be pulled away by this girl who clearly wanted her, who was  _ there _ . She stared straight into Betty’s blue eyes and somehow she still wished it was brown. She hoped she didn’t show that she was thinking of another girl, but Betty cared enough to show concern in her eyes. Betty cupped Danny’s face while stroking her thumb across Danny’s cheek. It was Betty’s way to pull Danny back to the present, pull her into the room. Was she ready for this? She wasn’t so sure now that there was one name still haunting her thoughts. 

 

_ Laura, Laura, Laura.  _ **_Laura…_ ** Laura.

 

“Please erase her name from my lips,” Danny muttered. She crashed her lips against Betty’s and finally stepped in.

 

_ Let me forget about her.  _

* * *

Danny swore that the next time she decided to go fuck someone, she should at least have the decency to turn her phone to silent mode. The pinging of incoming texts woke her from her blissful nap. It was too comfortable to leave from someone’s arms, wrapped around her bare waist. Not to mention the steady breaths on her neck, and the rise and fall of someone’s chest. She felt wanted. She didn’t want to leave the bed, but the fucking phone wouldn’t shut up.

 

Danny carefully lifted Betty’s arms and slid quietly away from the bed. Betty stirred, yet she continued sleeping with a smile on her face. Danny thought it would be a better idea to kiss her awake, but as of the moment, her phone was ruining her plans. She walked across the room while gathering articles of her clothing from the floor. Finally, she found her phone. 66 messages. All from Mel.

“Shit.” Danny forgot that they were supposed to plan the weekend activities today.

 

**Lawrence:** Shit. Sorry. I got caught up doing something.

**Callis:** or someone

 

“What the fu--” Danny whispered, “--of course.” She had given up on knowing how the people in her life always knew what was up.

 

**Callis:** you owe me lawrence

**Callis:** for covering for your ginger ass

**Callis:** tho i’m happy for you sis

**Callis:** but next time warn a sister or two

**Lawrence:** Thanks. :)

 

Crisis averted. Or so Danny thought. Her phone received a new message, a selfie of Jessie and Mel making a thumbs-up and tongues out. She’d expect countless questions and teasing when she comes back to her dorm room. Dispelling the thoughts of the future, Danny returned to her position in Betty’s arms, her present.

* * *

Long-distance relationships can be shit. Not only does one get frustrated over the lack of physical presence, but, gods, the shitty connection got to Danny’s nerves. Danny awkwardly smiled once Annie finished playing her first ever piece on the piano. Despite the cut-offs and the lagging, Danny was proud of the fact that Annie played “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” with both hands.

“Dandan! How did I do?” Annie’s face infiltrated the screen.

“You were great, kiddo! I’m so proud of you,” Danny applauded. Annie flashed her toothy smile, and her two front teeth, Danny swore, were shining.

 

Danny was glad that Annie was still enjoying playing the piano despite… Laura. Her mom had told her that Laura had insisted on giving her old keyboard to them because she didn’t need it anymore. Laura thought that Annie would be better to have it. She even offered to teach a little more, but Angie refused, knowing what happened to Danny and Laura would complicate Annie’s thoughts.

“Danny, honey,” her mom said.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Get some rest, honey. It’s getting late there.”

“Thanks, mom. I will.” Danny yawned, stretching her arms.

“Also, congrats. I’m really happy hearing about Betty.” Her mom smiled warmly.

“Thanks,” Danny said sheepishly.

 

But they both knew that a certain name still carried a heavy weight on her heart. At least it was getting better. Maybe people can move on. Maybe.

* * *

Danny wondered if this was love. Yes, she finally bought Betty a cappuccino, which was a lucky guess that it was one of Betty’s favourite drinks. Yes, she invited Betty to a few track meets, which always ended in making out in locker rooms when everyone was gone. Yes, Betty had made her dinner a couple of times, and wow, this girl can make a mean apple pie that can rival Danny’s mom’s pies. Yes, she also brought Betty over to the Summer Society house, and gods, the sorority split into two factions: #supportdannyslovelife2K18 and 100 reasons why Elizabeth Spielsdorf sucks. At least, Jessie and Mel approved of her.

 

Danny wondered if this was truly love. Maybe it doesn’t have to be right now. She stared at the blank piece of paper in front of her. They have been together for six months, but still… Nothing. No inspiration flew down to save her from her creative writing assignment, even if said muse was right across the table, and her eyes quickly darting from one end of the paper to the other. Danny admired Betty’s passion to study, to learn every minute detail, but her heart sank, knowing Danny would never be as passionate about Betty as she was with Laura. Words came easy when she thought about Laura. Maybe it was the lingering pain, or the way poets love to reminisce the past. Yet, Danny was determined to look forward. She grabbed her pencil to force out a few lines, debating why Betty’s eyes could turn from grey to blue to black in a matter of seconds.

 

Her teacher told her how bland the poem was. It lacked something, she heard; she knew. Danny didn’t wonder again.

* * *

It was the first year that Danny wasn’t able to come to Annie’s birthday. For the past two years, she was able to afford a trip back to Calgary for the break, but this year she had Summer Society duties, which included chaperoning a group of first-years to a trip in the mountains, and of course, taking out her girlfriend to Slovakia because Betty basically begged her to see the clear ice lake they saw together in pictures.

 

Her family left their camera on while they set up for a simple party they had for Annie. Danny saw the streamers and the cake being set up on the table. She hadn’t realized how tall Annie had become now, judging on how she can reach things on the kitchen counter without needing any help. 

“Hey, kiddo, nice job!” Danny called out from the screen when Annie successfully hung a few paper cranes with the streamers. 

 

The little kid beamed with pride that she made those cranes with Danny’s help over Skype. Annie sat in front of the camera and fixed it a little so Danny could see her clearly.

“Thanks, Dandan.” Annie smiled but it devolved into a pout.

“I wish you were here,” the little girl admitted. Those words constricted Danny’s heart, which made it a little harder to breathe or say anything back.

“Don’t worry, at least you’re here with me,” Betty whispered as she wrapped her arms around Danny.

 

Betty kissed the back of her ear while Danny settled back in the warmth of her girlfriend. That was true. She was here, happy and warm in a cabin, yet it was still unsettling. Her little sister knew those words because she left.

* * *

Not again. Danny needed to stop wondering why the universe is out to separate her from the people she cared about. Her memories kept replaying from three years ago. It should have been buried, forgotten. Was this how Laura felt when Danny decided to leave? Wait… If Danny recalled correctly, Laura was even happy to hear that Danny got the scholarship to a university an ocean away from where home was. So should Danny be happy? That’s bullshit, in her opinion.

“Danny?” Betty pulled her away from her thoughts.

“We can still work this out. I know how much you hate Skype, but, Danny, be reasonable. Maybe you can follow me to Princeton,” Betty suggested.

“You know, I can’t.” Danny massaged the bridge of her nose. They had this argument for the hundredth time.

“You got the scholarship here, then what’s stopping you from going for a better school?” 

“First of all, Princeton is not my dream school; it’s yours. Secondly, I’m only one year away from graduating. Lastly, I love my Summers here. They’re my new family,” Danny explained.

“I have to go, Danny.” Betty turned away but Danny caught her by the wrist. 

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I know.”

“Then don’t.”

“I have to.”

 

Danny pulled Betty closer, her hand on the small of her back, her lips ghosting over Betty’s, her eyes searching for something to make Betty stay. What she found was adamant determination and hurt.

“I love you,” Betty breathed, her thumb running across Danny’s cheek.

“I--” Danny bit her lip, “--I’m glad I met you.”

“Ouch, Lawrence.” It was a poor attempt at levity, Betty’s laugh masking her unshed tears.

“I just, I can’t yet. I wanted more time,” Danny paused, cupping Betty’s face in both of her hands, “I wanted to be sure.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I guess this ends your uncertainty.”

“I’m sorry,” Danny repeated, before she leaned in and kissed Betty softly on the lips. 

 

At least this time, she properly said goodbye. Both of them had their own perfectly good reasons to be apart. Danny finally understood that. She guessed that some things were meant to be here only for a while. Maybe just the good things.

* * *

Danny stared out the window, another gloomy snowfall. The light was slowly spreading throughout the gray sky. Danny was sure she wasn’t going to finish this paper on time. She hadn’t had any decent sleep since the winter semester started. A notification popped up on her screen.

 

**Mom:** vid call?

**Danny:** sure

 

Might as well, since she wasn’t doing anything and Jessie was out, fooling around with a girl she met at a party. Danny clicked to accept the call, and a new face greeted her. Not exactly new, but a face she hadn’t seen in years. The short stubble and the messy hair confused her, but it was, without a doubt, her brother. He definitely grew up to be like the carbon copy of their father. 

“You fucking jerk! Where have you been?” If Danny could punch and hug him at the same time, she would have.

“Hey, sis. You look awful.” Joric smiled.

“Thanks.” Danny rolled her eyes.

“To answer your question, I have always been around here.”

“Yeah, that definitely answered my question,” Danny scoffed.

“Okay, okay! I admit it. I got caught up in the wrong crowd. Barely dodged prison. Made it back safe. I’m clean. We’re safe,” Joric tried to assure her. Danny wasn’t convinced.

“I’m sorry, okay. I’m here now. I’m back. And I wanna help.”

 

“Okay” was all she could manage to say. Her brother ran his fingers through his hair. Danny was tempted to laugh because she forgot where she got her little gesture from. 

“I didn’t know we had Annie. She’s intense,” Joric started.

“She would be. I mean, the kid never saw you before.”

“No, no. She was literally happy to see me. Jumped up on my shoulders when she understood I was her brother. Then she took me to her keyboard and I had to listen to her play and sing for like hours,” Joric sounded like he was complaining, but he was most likely overwhelmed. 

 

Annie was a sunshine full of love. Danny understood why her brother would call her intense.

“Then she kept talking about this Laura. Is she your friend or something?” Joric asked.

 

Danny sighed.  _ Of course _ .

“She was my--” Danny swallowed, “--ex-girlfriend.”

“Oh shit. I’m, uh, I’m sorry, dude. I didn’t mean to-- are you okay?”

 

Danny could barely see the screen anymore. It must be her exhaustion or the tears pooling in her vision. She was so, so, so tired. Tired of this same story, but she always wished that there was a different ending whenever she had to tell it. 

“I’m okay,” she lied.

“Bullshit.”

“I’m okay, okay?” she insisted.

 

She tried to stop herself from crying, but she couldn’t. It was impossible when her loneliness and sadness from breaking up with Betty caught up with her, which reminded her of her old flame, trying to bring back memories she would rather forget; then she had her unfinished paper due today. Now she had to deal with how much she missed her brother and her family. She was the one running away now, and maybe she was tired like her brother was. She wanted to go home. 

“I’m here now. Tell me,” her brother said in that voice she had missed whenever he had to comfort her.

 

_ I want to go home. _

* * *

“You don’t have to do it, especially now that Joric’s back,” Angie whispered as she fluffed her pillows.

 

She settled beside her husband and pulled over the blanket. An arm squirmed its way beneath her, wrapping around her waist. 

“I know. But seeing Danny do her best, I think it’s finally time for me to do mine,” Ric said.

 

He briefly kissed Angie’s forehead, and quickly turned away to cough.

“I told you--”

“I’ll be fine, honey.”

 


	10. Home?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Danny's last year of Silas, she meets Kirsch and dates him because he's a part of a past she still can't let go. Another incident happens to her dad, which leads her back to where it all started. Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Zeta Society so if you don't like that you can skip for a few scenes. A little of Hollstein too and Laferry...... And then ofc, hollence.

Danny’s eyes scanned the room. Yup, option class, full of frosh kids. The awkward introductions, the obnoxious laughter continued from high school, and the nervous tension reminded her of her first year in Silas. Being in a new class, with no acquaintances or friends, was always something Danny fretted over, but being in her last year, the exhaustion in her bones told her that she might as well just go with whatever the fuck she had to do to finish this class. That included sitting with this dude, who excitedly waved at her like they were best friends from high school.

“Hey, it’s you! Aren’t you the puppy who’s always around Laura?” Kirsch said. They went to the same high school, just not the best friends part was true.

“Don’t mention her name,” Danny snapped. 

_ (You aren’t worthy.) _

“Whoa there. I’m guessing it was a bad break.”

“Shut up.” 

“I admit, Hollis was kinda cute and I had a little crush on her like you did and--” 

_ (Crush is an understatement.) _

“Didn’t I tell you to shut the fuck up?” 

“I’m sorry, dude. Hey, I just wanted to start a conversation and you know, maybe get coffee later…” Kirsch scratched the back of his head.

“You don’t even know my name. I don’t even remember yours so let’s just end with that.”

“I’m Kirsch. And I’m sorry really.” Kirsch offered his hand.

 

She knew she was going to regret this but the pull of the past started tugging at her again, and Kirsch was a piece of the past not too close to her yet not so far off as well.

 

“Danny.” She gripped his hand and shook it.

 

//

 

Danny looked up from her book and gods, she hoped that this stupid guy didn’t go out and buy coffee without a top on. She wasn’t complaining though. His brain may not have been worked out as much as his body was, but damn, those abs. Her thoughts went back to last night when she ran her fingers on his skin. Those abs were definitely real. She tried to return to her book on poststructuralism, but it was impossible with the way Kirsch slid beside her and handed her the coffee she asked for. 

“Hey, babe, what’re you reading?” Kirsch said as he wrapped his arm around her waist. 

“Nothing you can comprehend at your level of English,” Danny hummed. 

 

She sipped a little coffee from her cup before setting it down on the side table. Kirsch tugged tighter at her waist, which she knew that he was being a dumb puppy again, nuzzling his nose on her neck. It always won her over. 

“I can always read it to you and you can tell me what you think,” Danny offered, knowing Kirsch would try and fail again.

 

Kirsch smiled brightly. Danny kissed the grin off his face, but this guy laughed instead. He leaned back on the pillows, settled as close to Danny as possible, closed his eyes, and waited for Danny to read aloud. The redhead began to read as she rubbed his ear, because that always soothe Kirsch back into sleep.

 

//

 

There was a reason behind Danny’s dislike for creampuffs. She couldn’t put a finger on it until Kirsch walked in with a box full of them as she received the news about her dad. Danny was working on her paper on Jane Austen when a series of popping Skype notifications distracted her. Judging from the quick words, Danny knew it was Annie using their mom’s account, possibly panicking or flailing over something. She gave up on her paper and pulled up the Skype window. Her heart sank when she saw the last word, hospital.

**Mom:** dandan

**Mom:** mommy is crying

**Mom:** daddy needs

**Mom:** help

**Mom:** mommy told me

**Mom:** daddy fell

**Mom:** from working

**Mom:** he won’t wake up

**Mom:** joric helped

**Mom:** bring daddy

**Mom:** to the hospital

 

It was happening again, wasn’t it? Danny’s memories rushed back that she had to close her eyes to regain composure again. Breathe, breathe. She could taste the acidity of her lunch in her throat. One, two. She was sweating, her eyes glancing to her bathroom door. Maybe she could ease the sick churning in her stomach, but  Annie needed her. She couldn’t be that young teenager again. She needed to be the Danny that she was now. She was about to type out a response when Kirsch burst into her own room, which she got when she became VP. It broke Danny’s concentration. Seriously, she regretted ever giving so much as permission for Kirsh to enter the sorority house despite him being a Zeta.

“Hey, babe! I bought creampuffs!” Kirsch held up a box. When Danny looked up, probably with tears in her eyes, Kirsch instantly dropped the box on the table and placed a hand on Danny’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”

“My dad… He’s…” Danny couldn’t finish her words.

 

Another notification popped up and the sound of someone calling in Skype rang. Kirsch took the initiative to click the accept button because clearly, Danny was in a daze. They both waited for the black screen to show her family. Annie was full-on crying, hastily rubbing the tears in her eyes, yet it kept flowing. 

“Dandan,” Annie hiccupped.

“Baby, tell me what’s wrong. What happened to Daddy?” Danny said, putting her brave facade back on.

“Daddy is in the hospital. Mama said he’s dying,” Annie replied in between sobs. Danny swallowed back the tears. 

“Please come home,” the little girl pleaded.

“I will. I gotta go now, kiddo. I promise I’ll be home before you know it,” Danny said before she could break down in front of her sister. 

 

She closed the computer, then frantically paced around the room to grab her duffel bag and a few pieces of clothing. She ignored Kirsch, who was trying to get her attention. Once she entered the bathroom, she slammed the door to have a decent amount of privacy. A brief glance to the mirror horrified her. How could she shrink back to her younger self, yet look so old and exhausted? Life had defeated her again, the shadows under her tear-filled eyes said so. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the sink to pull herself together.  _ She was brave and she was strong and she was so much better than this. _ With a determined look in her eyes, she rubbed the tears out of her eyes. She shoved her toiletries and medicine in a clear bag and returned to her room.

“Hey, babe, I booked us the next flight back to Calgary.” Kirsch beamed from the computer chair.

“Us?” Danny stopped in her tracks.

“Yeah, I mean, who’s gonna make sweet, sweet lo--”

“Okay, Kirsch, I am not there for a vacation,” Danny cut in before Kirsch could even finish.

“No, but seriously, babe, I’m there for you,” Kirsch said, running his hand on her arm and taking the bag from her.

“Let me help you.” Kirsch leaned in for a kiss. Danny hesitated but even though, his lips were rough, she needed this kind of support, this affection.

 

Kirsch pulled her closer into a hug, and for once, Danny let her walls down as she cried into his shoulder.

 

//

 

As soon as Danny arrived in Calgary, she asked Kirsch to take care of their luggage while she headed to the hospital first. Whatever situation her father was in, time was against her. Any second wasted waiting around is time wasted to be with her father. She focused on the wide blue sky on her taxi ride. How dare the sky be so cheerful, the clouds playing with the wind, and the sun watching over them? Maybe it was a sign. Things could be better, Danny hoped.

 

She felt sick to her stomach, but she ignored it as she walked into the hospital. The nurse greeted her warmly and provided her father’s room number. Passing by chairs on the hallways, Danny wished that none of her family looked as hopeless as the people waiting out the operating room. She quickened her pace with clenched fists. She certainly didn’t like to hear the hushed announcement of death and the silent sobs of people who were left behind. 

Danny didn’t knock. She only burst in, which surprised her mother who looked like she had sleepless nights judging on the bags under her eyes and her gaunt face. Before Danny could reel in the emotion rising in her, her anger exploded, words shot one after the other.

“What happened? Why didn’t you tell me anything? What would happen if I didn’t make it in time or if Annie didn’t tell me? What did you do?” Danny accused her mother. 

 

Her mother, steadfast, only opened up her arms for a hug. Suddenly, she was fifteen again.

 

//

 

“How is he?”

“He’s… better,” her mother sighed. 

“Will you start to explain what happened?” Danny asked, reverting to her 23-year-old self.

“When you went away,” Angie started, searching for Danny’s discomfort at the words but finding none, “your father finally decided to work again, outside the house.”

“He didn’t have to--”

“But he wanted to. You were working so hard, and he wanted to be just like you.”

“Mom, you know I take it from him and you.” Danny cracked a small smile. 

“I just wished he wasn’t so damn stubborn sometimes,” Angie confessed. Danny held her hand, and her mother squeezes her hand back.

“I’m betting it comes from the long history of fighting the Spanish, Americans, and Japanese even though it earned him an English surname.”

“Maybe.” Angie stared out into the window.

“Hey, Mom, maybe you should take a rest. Get something to eat and some sleep. I know Joric is taking care of things and Kirsch might be there to help, but Annie needs you the most,” Danny said.

“She needs you too, honey.”

“I need to be here,” Danny answered.

 

She looked over the sleeping form of her father. He looked peaceful, too peaceful for Danny’s own comfort. Her mother accepted her offer, gave Danny a hug before leaving.

 

//

 

The steady beeping machine assured her that her father was still breathing, still alive, still hopeful. Danny didn’t let go of his hand as she surveyed his features. The wrinkles of ancient wisdom, the scars of old struggles, and the dominating strands of white hair, told her how much her father had been through for all of them. She missed the smell of home, old wood and fabric softener, on him, because it was overpowered by the smell of antiseptic and clean plastic. She watched him breathe so feebly under his hospital gown when she realized that he might need a change of clothes once he got out, hopefully soon. Her eyes caught sight of a bag. Maybe it was for her mother, or her father, but she checked if there was something in it that she needed to take out.

 

She ruffled through her father’s shirts and pants, a few change of clothes for her mother too, a wallet, and a few letters fell out of a folder. Each envelope had a name. She found Joric’s, Annie’s with ‘for later’ added onto it, her mother’s with the flap of the envelope slightly ripped open, but Danny assumed her mother hesitated to open it for now, then hers. Danny ran her fingers across the smooth paper, before she turned it over. She swallowed then looked back to her father. What were these for? Was she allowed to open this? Her curiosity got the best of her as she slowly opened the flap. 

 

_ To my daughter, Danny, _

 

_ First and foremost, I would like to point out that the purpose of this letter is a celebration of life, not whatever intended purpose you may have in mind. Isn’t this how we celebrate each day of our lives? Through written words? I’ll have you know that I was never this articulate until I met your mother. I always avoided your questions about our first meeting because it was embarrassing, but the embarrassment makes it an anecdote I’ve saved for when you decided to co-write your life’s novel with another. I’m afraid that I will have to write it down, again, not for the intended purpose you might have in mind, but for the celebration of your mom’s and mine. _

 

_ Your mom and I, as you know, come from the same country but we were raised in different provinces. She lived far up north, where plains and mountains ruled, while I enjoyed the small islands by the middle region, where fish were actually friends. When we moved to Calgary, it was probably fate or maybe coincidence that we had moved into the city, at the same time, at the same district. If you’ve seen old photos, your mother had always been the confident one. Her strides made the crowd part a way for her, and her one-eyebrow-raised stares killed every argument. She was terrifyingly beautiful. Who was I, the young fisherman’s boy, who could only speak conversational English at best, and a fish’s mouth bubbled for words when I was around her? Luck was not on my side. I tried anyway because, Danny, trying is all that matters. We were outside the dollar store while we waited for our friends to buy the party necessities. Night had fallen so early and the moon was at its perigee. It looked so beautiful and so bright. We have never talked before despite being in the same friend circle, and I wanted to change that. I made an offhanded comment how she looked like the moon. It might have been a great metaphor, Danny, but your mother did not take it well. She glared at me with her eyebrow raised and I was afraid that I would be murdered that night. My English had slipped and my native dialect didn’t correspond with hers. There was no way to explain how I adored her beauty just like the moon’s. She was about to explode on me, when I found the word, ‘beautiful.’ She stopped, her cheeks red from anger, flushed into a softer colour. Fast friends, we became. Years later, your mother confessed as to why she was angry. She was insecure that she had craters on her face from acne, and how her white hair was multiplying quickly.  _

 

_ I feel like I have digressed too far, but the point is, Danny, we will mess up at first, but we will find the right words to express how we feel. And this is how I feel. I feel like I messed up and I’m finding ways to help. You must have felt lonely when you broke up with Laura. I wish I had done something rather than just let you go and have your own adventure. But it looks like you were doing fine. If you haven’t heard this, Danny, you are so brave and you deserve the best. _

 

_ I will continue to fight, because I fight to celebrate, not only my life, but yours. I wish to give you away to someone who truly loves you, who I was afraid that I’ve already met, but I will respect your choice, Danny. I always will. _

 

_ Love, _

_ Dad _

 

Danny almost tore the paper apart with how intense she was holding it and reading it. She wanted to crumple the paper in her hands, but her father had given it thought, looked out for Danny. She returned to her father’s side and held his hand.

“Please wake up,” she whispered and waited.

 

//

 

After an overnight in the hospital, Danny was forced by her mother to, at least, go back home, get changed, and see her siblings. She reluctantly left, seeing as her father still hadn’t woken up and given her answers. She expected to be greeted by her younger sister, but Kirsch answered the door. 

“Hey, babe!” he greeted her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

 

A smaller figure popped out from Kirsch’s side and clearly, wanted to join in the hug.

 

“Dandan!” Annie squealed, her hands trying to grab at Danny. Danny pulled back from Kirsch’s hug to scoop up her little sister.

“You’re getting so heavy, kiddo,” she heaved. Good thing she was still working out. Annie laughed.

“I missed you so much.” Danny peppered the little kid’s face with kisses. 

“I missed you too, babe,” Kirsch tried to interrupt but with Danny’s glare, he quickly backed off from what he was thinking of doing. 

 

The two finally let Danny enter the house, where Danny deposited her sister on a tall chair. The fact that Annie can reach things farther than usual surprised Danny at how long it had been and how Annie had grown up during the time she was away. 

 

“Sooooo, there’s a party tomorrow at Aaron’s house,” Kirsch mentioned.

“Kirsch, it’s not the best--”

“My usual gang will be there and  _ your _ usual gang will be there whom you have ignore for the past 4 years,” he continued.

“Kirsch, I’m not here for a reunion,” Danny scoffed, leaning onto Annie’s chair and putting a hand on her hip. 

“But, Danny, you have been tense for the past couple of weeks and recently, you know,” Kirsch raised his eyebrows, “you need to relax and take a break, babe.”

 

Danny rolled her eyes. The audacity of this man. She massaged the bridge of her nose and reminded herself why she ever dated this man by listing a few good things about him. Maybe she was being harsh on him, maybe she needed to take this break. She was working herself too hard especially with her TA job and papers to do. She did ignore her friends from high school after the break-up and maybe it was a great time to reconnect. Plus, if she didn’t relent, the puppy eyes will appear and Danny definitely had no immunity against that.

 

“Fine.”

“Yes!” Kirsch fist-pumped.

“And also, I forgot to mention, Laura will be there,” he added.

“Laura?” Annie’s eyes brightened as she had been watching the conversation unfold.

 

For Danny’s part, she’d choose to back off. It had been 4 years, almost going on 5; there wouldn’t be anything bad about seeing her again, right? She definitely had moved on. Definitely.

Kirsch watched her, making second guesses but she replied:

“That’s okay.”

 

//

 

Danny had a few experiences of parties with Kirsch. She knew as soon as Aaron bro-hugged Kirsch by the door, Danny was left to her own devices. It was not that bad to get lost in the crowd. Until maybe Elsie spotted her and screeched her name, which made all the eyes in the room directed at her. The blonde pushed through people and tackled Danny with a hug.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Elsie demanded, her tone reminded Danny of Molly Weasley. 

“Here and there,” Danny replied coolly.

“More there than here. You lil sh--- you tall, tall asshole. No calls, no messages, nothing.” 

“I’m sorry,” Danny shrank, noticing tears in Elsie’s,  _ freaking Elsie’s _ , eyes. 

“Come here. I missed you,” Elsie said, pulling Danny into another hug.

“Wow. Didn’t know you were such a sap, Elsie. Four years turned you into a mom friend.”

“Shut up.”

“I missed you too.”

“Speaking of mom friends, did someone call for me?” Farah, grinning, slapped Danny on the back.

“Farah!” Danny gave her a quick hug and looked over her, “hey, you haven’t changed a single bit.”

“You flatter me, Lawrence. Just to let you know I am a  _ mom _ and a  _ friend _ ,” Farah winked. 

“Wait what?”

“Farah, here, has a cute little son, probably being taken care of by her super dorky boyfriend so she can go to this party,” Elsie explained.

“Hey! Can’t pass up to see our tall asshole friend who ran away to the European mountains even though we have our own mountain range here,” Farah retorted.

“You’re never gonna let that go, aren’t you?” Danny asked.

“Nope. But we still love you,” Elsie answered for both her and Farah.

“So, how’s everyone else doing?” Danny asked.

“Let’s see… Mary is down in the States to finish her degree and research on paranormal activity,” Farah said.

“If you haven’t figured it out, she’s dating Beth, who’s in Vancouver,” Elsie continued on for Farah.

“Yo, so Beth told me one time that she thinks that she’s in a polyamorous relationship with a ghost because they save on shipping by Rose, the ghost, delivering certain packages.”

“Oh god, I heard about that! Oh, the things that Rose can do--”

“Okay, spare me the details. So I’m guessing they’re doing just fine,” Danny cut off Elsie’s sentence before she told it in explicit detail.

“Yeah, I guess maybe except for the part where Mary figures out how to get Rose a physical body…” Farah finished.

“Actually, I’m working with her on that,” a familiar voice chimed in. 

 

Two familiar redheads joined them, both of them wearing the same shade of green, and holding hands. Danny caught sight of a ring on Laf’s left hand, so her eyes glanced to Perry’s left as well, to check. Yes, same ring.

 

“Hey, you two lovebirbs,” Farah greeted them with a hug. 

 

Laf and Perry exchanged hugs with Elsie as well. They stopped to look at Danny first, waiting for words to be exchanged. LaFontaine seemed a little tense from seeing Danny again. They hadn’t talked in 4 years. Danny knew that Laf and Perry had always been on Laura’s side. 

“Hey, congratulations to you two.” Danny smiled, trying to diffuse the awkward atmosphere.

“Thank you, Danny. Well, LaFontaine here would probably get married to their research before I can get the chance to so I beat them to it,” Perry, always the sensitive one, replied then linking arms with Laf.

“Thanks. Too bad you missed out on the party,” Laf said, still stiff. Danny opened her mouth to reply but Elsie had interrupted.

“Well, it wasn’t much of a party since basically, these two eloped.”

“What?” Danny glanced to Perry. 

 

Lola I-have-to-make-every-single-thing-perfectly-in-place Perry let a grand ceremony slide out of her hands? Unbelievable, yet of course, love made anything unbelievable.

“It was improvised. I can do improvised. Right? I can be flexible,” Perry explained quickly. Laf snorted.

“Flexible, right,” LaFontaine quoted. Perry’s cheeks turned red.

 

Danny was grateful that their attention had been turned away from her, but that’s what she thought until LaFontaine fixed their gaze on her again. It encroached a more serious topic to be brought up.

“Hey, I know it’s past, but please don’t avoid us like the plague. Deal?” LaFontaine said, holding out their hand.

“Deal.” Danny shook it. Laf took the opportunity to pull her closer down so they could reach her ear.

“Also what the fuck, Kirsch? Really?” Laf had whispered loudly than intended. The whole group held back their chuckles for Danny’s sake.

“Hey! He’s a nice guy, okay?” Danny argued.

“ _ Nice guy _ ,” Elsie air quoted.

“A genuinely nice guy,” Danny firmly repeated.

“And yo, here he comes,” Farah announced.

 

Right on cue, Kirsch muscled his way to Danny and handed her a cup of beer. He towered over them, but with the goofy grin on his face, he was as intimidating as a tiny puffball of a pomeranian. However, Laf eyed how he instinctively put his arm around Danny’s waist to pull her closer.

“Hey, D-be--” Danny glared at him before he could finish.

“Hey, Danny.” Kirsch cleared his throat.

 

He offered beer to Danny, which she gratefully took. She thought that she might as well loosen up for tonight. 

“Hey, everyone,” Kirsch turned to the group. Most of them nodded in greeting.

“Tough crowd, huh,” he remarked. Elsie coughed.

“Well, dude, we know so little about you.” Farah crossed her arms.

“The only thing you need to know is that I can make Danny happy,” Kirsch asserted.

 

Danny only gave them a tight-lipped smile and apologetic eyes. Yes, Kirsch had made her happy, but how long it will last, Danny did not know. Elsie was about to make a remark, but Kirsch had pulled Danny’s arm away to dance. Danny could only go along, knowing Kirsch. She mouthed that she’d be back later to catch up. The dapper redhead gave a mixed signal of a disapproving shake of their head, and an amused smile Danny had seen years ago. 

 

She’d try to believe that Kirsch could make her happy.

 

//

 

A few drinks in and a couple of dances over, Danny was about to hover back to the same group Kirsch had stole her away from. Except it wasn’t the same number of people. Her breath got caught in her throat. There she was. Laura, with her same bubbly laugh and the way her rambles drew attention so everyone would listen. The petite girl still dressed the same cute style, her bow-collared blouse and her short red skirt. Danny wasn’t used to seeing her hair up in a bubble bun, but she could get used to the view of her slender neck. She looked down, fiddling with her cup then gulping down the remaining beer it had. The rush of heat came up to her face and tingles shot down to the tips of her hands. She was ready to confront this. It had been years. She could do this. She thought she could until someone slid up against Laura. Well, it seemed like Laura wasn’t the only one who didn’t change her style. Always in black, Carmilla, surprisingly, laughed along with her friends. It definitely had been years. Things changed, Danny knew that. Still, she steeled herself, clenched her teeth, and went for it. It was time to finally let go, move on.

“Hey,” Danny said, rejoining the group. Their eyes met, Danny’s breath hitched. 

“Hey,” Laura replied, smiling. 

“Carmilla.” Danny noticed the way Carmilla’s eyes studied her.

“Danny.” Carmilla acknowledged her, even said her name properly this time.

“Uh, Carm, can you grab me a few cookies in the kitchen? I think I saw some when we were passing by,” Laura requested, seeing that these two were having this odd staredown as if to measure each other. 

 

She was afraid that a fight might break out in a few minutes if these two stood in the same space. She noted the concern in Carmilla’s eyes when Carmilla agreed to get those cookies for her. Laura squeezed her hand and kissed Carmilla’s cheek before she disappeared into the kitchen. Something in Danny bubbled, but she tried to swallow it down. Let go, she repeated to herself.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Danny said, standing closer to Laura. 

 

Somehow, it’s just them again, in this space. The others had left for their own conversations.

“I kinda wanted to talk to you properly,” Laura replied.

“Can’t talk to me without Carmilla around, huh?”

“Well, believe me, you’d want to be spared of all the snark. She’s excited to try out every new annoying nickname on you,” Laura rambled.

“Some things never change.”

“Yeah… But hey, how have you been? I mean Austria and all.” Laura nudged her.

“It’s been pretty good. Joined a sorority, run track, almost graduating…” Danny trailed off, feigning that what she was doing was not interesting. 

“That’s great!” Laura’s eyes brightened up.

“How about you? Open studies, was it?”

“Actually, I’m into journalism right now. So I switched to SAIT because they offer a two-year diploma program on online journalism as well. I’m on my last year too,” Laura explained.

“That’s good,” Danny said, avoiding Laura’s eyes. 

 

She’d forgotten how the passion made her eyes sparkle with gold and one could get lost in it, never to come back without falling for her. Yet, she fell into the trap. Laura’s eyes were distracted, searching by the kitchen. Danny’s heart constricted. Again, she repeated.  _ Let go dammit. _

 

“I wonder how long does it take for a useless lesbian to get cookies for her girlfriend,” Laura commented. Danny laughed.

“Honestly, Carmilla…” 

 

Laura was about to go into the kitchen, but Danny grabbed her by her left wrist. Blue eyes swept down to her fingers. Relief washed over Danny, believing she still had a chance, but mentally slapped herself for thinking so. When she realized what she was doing, Danny released Laura’s hand. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” Danny mumbled. 

“It’s okay. Maybe Carm just got caught in a conversation she can’t escape or she willingly joined into,” Laura said.

 

Silence passed over them. The bass in the other room pulsed with beating of their hearts, both tense, both fast. It’s just the two of them again, nothing much mattered. Danny remembered how they would have been dancing to any kind of music, with coloured lights surrounding them. They could have been dancing to this exact moment too, not caring about anything at all. 

“So how’s your dad?” Laura attempted to restart the conversation.

“He’s okay…” Danny’s eyes averted Laura’s gaze. 

 

This wasn’t a topic she wanted to discuss; in fact, she went to this party for the exact purpose of avoiding her thoughts about her dad. Laura reached out to touch her hand. 

“I’m sorry about your dad,” she said.

 

Danny slipped her hand from Laura’s to dig her nails into her palm. Danny tried to put a cap on her worries, but with how Laura was showing her compassion, it was nearly impossible. It was almost as if Laura had apologized for her father’s inevitable future that Danny cannot accept yet.

“No one’s destined to live forever, right? No one knows that better than you.”  Danny’s words cut into Laura. 

“Danny--” Laura tried to reach out again.

“I’m afraid of losing more people,” Danny admitted, her voice nothing more than a whisper. 

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay.” 

“And the people we love, they don’t stay,” Danny’s glassy eyes accusingly directed at Laura, withdrawing her hand from soothing Danny’s arm. 

“Now that’s just unfair,” Laura argued

“You were the one who went away.” Laura’s voice became louder, drawing other people’s attention to them. 

“It’s only because you wanted me to go!” Danny didn’t back down, matching her tone with Laura.

“I’m not the one who broke up with you just because you can’t get over your separation anxiety!”

“Yeah, says the person who was clearly falling for someone else,” Danny fired back. 

“I--uh, I wasn’t! You knew!” Laura said, frustrated, her hands balled into fists. 

“Psh, yeah right. You look at each other like you built the goddamn galaxy and put the stars in the sky.”

“But that was--”

“But you’re no galaxy,” Danny’s voice softened, “You’re the universe and I’m only a dot of a human in this lifetime. Who am I to you?”

 

Their gazes met, both tempers cooling down. Both of them closer to each other ever since the heated argument.

“You were the first that I loved, my ex best friend, my ex girlfriend,” Laura said, stepping away from her. 

 

Danny swallowed, maintaining her eye contact with Laura. What had she wanted when she asked that question? Ah, yes, that there was a chance, but clearly, there was none. Three words were lodged in her throat. She regretted not saying them when Laura had confessed then. She’d regret not saying them now.

“I love you,” Danny whispered.

“Danny--”

“It’s too late now, isn’t it?”

 

Laura opened her mouth, but closed it again. Carmilla had finally arrived with Laura’s cookies and LaFontaine by her side to explain what had transpired. Carmilla walked up to Danny as if she was ready to punch her, but she stopped short.

“Clearly, I was wrong to at least let you have a minute with her,” Carmilla said.

“Carm--” Laura’s voice cracked.

“I’m sorry.” Danny cut in. 

“You better be,” Carmilla snapped.

 

Carmilla led Laura away from her, but Laura had a quick glance, something Danny couldn’t place until it clicked. It was an apology, a reply, a look that said it was never too late. Hope blossomed in her chest, but Danny doubted herself. It was definitely an apology and nothing else. Nothing, but an apology for Danny’s sorry feelings. She couldn’t read more into it. She stared at the retreating figures, until Kirsch had wrapped around her waist. 

“Hey babe, I think it’s time to go,” he whispered into her ear.

“I’m sorry we had to cut your fun short,” Danny said, glancing at the clock.

“Don’t worry, babe. This night should have been for you.” He kissed her cheek. 

 

She let Kirsch pull her away from the people who asked questions with their stares, but she was exhausted. As soon as she got out of the house, she asked:

“Do you think my dad’s going to be okay?”

“Of course, he’s a Lawrence,” Kirsch reassured.

“Do you know why the universe is out to take everyone away from me?”

“No? But I know I won’t let it take me away. I promise.” He kissed the back of her hand.

 

Danny’s more afraid that the universe will take her away from him.

 

//

 

Two days after the party, Kirsch thought that it was a good plan to take Danny out for a walk after a snowstorm hit the city. It was a great plan in perspective, only if it didn’t feel like the snow queen descended upon earth to freeze their veins. At least, it took off Danny’s worries about her father still not waking up to talk to her. Her mother had assured her that he woke up on a few occasions but not when she was there to take care of him. Danny wished she was inside a nice cozy home, with the fireplace keeping everything warm.

 

Keeping toasty and warm, Carmilla was glad that Laura opted to bake cookies instead of going out and enjoying the fresh-fallen snow. She shuddered at the thought of the freezing wind brought about the aftermath of a storm. 

“Hey, Carm, can you reach the chocolate chips for me?” Laura called out, having difficulty reaching over the top shelf of their pantry. 

 

Carmilla closed the book she was reading and placed it by the side table. It was routine for them that Carmilla would help reaching out ingredients when they’re baking even though a stepper was literally beside Laura. Laura reasoned that Carmilla should also help work for her cookies.

 

Carmilla tipped over the bag of flour. She miscalculated its weight, so it toppled over her and spilled some flour on her. Laura laughed, but at the same time, expertly caught the bag. 

“Carm, you look like you’ve been dumped by powdered snow!”

 

“Hey!” Kirsch called out. A snowball splattered right on Danny’s face.

“You jerk!” Danny shouted as she scooped some snow and chased Kirsch. 

 

Kirsch squealed his usual terror when he was chased by a few of her Summer Society sisters. Apparently, it was a rare rite of passage to date a Summer, made especially for a Zeta, but that’s a story for another time. For now, she was focused on taking this guy down and turn him into a snowbro. She successfully landed a hit on Kirsch, but she tripped on a cursed rock. Even with snow on his face, Kirsch managed to catch Danny, but the fall sent them tumbling down the slope. Bless the snow for being soft, but terribly cold. They were wrapped in each other’s arms, with Danny on top. 

“I got you,” Kirsch mumbled.

“Yeah, you got me,” Danny laughed, sitting up.

“Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve heard you laugh like that.”

“Yeah, well-- holy shit, Kirsch, you’re bleeding!” Danny touched the wound by his temple with her gloved hand.

“Totally worth it.” Kirsch smiled, taking Danny’s hand in his. 

  
  


“I never thought I would say this, but totally worth it to get flour all over me,” Carmilla said, dusted the flour off her hair and clothes. 

“Why’s that?”

“You look all somber while baking.”

“Yeah, I was just thinking about stuff…”

“Mhmm,” Carmilla hummed while entwining their fingers. 

“I kinda miss my dad.”

“He’s in Germany, right?”

“Yeah…” 

“You know, you could always follow him into Europe,” Carmilla suggested. 

“Be a journalist in Europe? Very tempting, especially since nothing much happens in Calgary,” Laura said.

“Exactly.”

“And we could move to France, I mean I can speak a little French, thanks to junior high, and I could eat actual chocolate croissants and we could go to concerts and hey! You can have  _ your  _ concert there too!” Laura rambled on.

“I knew that I didn’t have to sell the whole European idea to you, always the dreamer.” Carmilla smiled. 

 

Laura laughed and turned back to her current baking situation. Having your girlfriend’s hand in yours while mixing cookie batter proved to be a difficult task. 

“Hey, Carm, if you don’t let go, we won’t have any freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies today,” Laura said. 

 

Carmilla let go, but she decided to hug Laura from behind instead, resting her chin on Laura’s shoulder. 

“Neither will that help,” Laura said. 

“Hey, cupcake, after you graduate, let’s just move to Europe and live our dreams,” Carmilla said. 

 

Turning her head quickly toward Carmilla, Laura dropped the spatula in the metal bowl. The happiness, previously seen by the way her eyes curved, faded and replaced by a spot of doubt and nervousness. 

 

“Is that what I think you’re doing?” Laura asked.

“Isn’t it time I asked?”

 

The way Kirsch’s eyes flickered from its usual joviality to something more serious made Danny’s heart beat faster. He was about to say something seriously, when everything felt so light and fluffy, and this scared Danny. 

“I’d love to spend the rest of my life hearing that laugh, Danny Lawrence,” Kirsch said as he pulled out a box from his jacket pocket. 

“Kirsch… I--”

“The answer doesn’t have to be now.”

“But we’ve only been dating for like 2-3 months!”

 

“Come on, cupcake, doesn’t 3-4 years say anything about us?”

“Carm, the length of time doesn’t determine--”

 

“--how much I love you and willing to spend my life with, Danny.”

“Kirsch, it’s just too fast. I can’t--”

 

“--I’m sorry, Carm. Maybe not right now.”

 

“Is it because of her?”

 

Carmilla stared straight into Laura’s eyes, but Laura couldn’t face her. Neither could Danny with Kirsch.

 

“Why pop the question now?”

“Because I love you.”

“But I don’t the way you do.”

 

“Well, isn’t that always the tragedy,” Carmilla finished. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. One and Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Laura find their feelings are back for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hollence gets back together and this ends happily just as I planned from the start. This fic was supposed to be Hollence fluff central with a touch of angst and my bad multishipping tendencies. I'll just put my last few rambles in the end so for now, enjoy the last chapter of this fic!

Another fruitless day passed by. Danny was getting restless, especially having nothing to do, but visit the hospital since she couldn’t continue her school work when worry bugged her mind. Kirsch had offered to distract her again but after that one snowy day, she asked for space. 

“Danny, hey, it’s the weekend, honey. You should just stay at home,” her mom suggested.

“And miss my dad waking up again even just for a short time?”

“But you’re tired and after everything that happened…” her mom trailed off.

“I’m fine. I’m getting more suspicious that you and dad are conspiring together so we never have a decent conversation.” Danny narrowed her eyes. 

“I assure you, Danny, that’s not the case. Your dad is just on a lot of meds.” Her mother squeezed her shoulder. 

 

With a sigh, Danny got up to obey her mother. 

“Call me when he wakes this time, okay?” Danny requested.

“Okay.”

 

//

 

Muffled piano notes escaped the walls of their home. For a moment, Danny thought she recognized the melody, but as soon as she turned the key in the lock, the melody stopped. Why had it stopped? Danny’s thoughts ran like the hurried footsteps on wood that she heard. She expected to be greeted by her little sister, but the ever-growing girl escaped upstairs and didn’t even say anything to Danny. That broke Danny’s heart a bit. Annie had a habit of greeting her without fail, but Danny guessed the kid was growing up too fast and Danny understood the consequences of leaving her for so long.

“Hey, hurry your ass up, I’m fucking freezing here,” Joric called out.

 

Her brother was by the kitchen and ate cereal for, what Danny assumed, breakfast even though it was already past noon. She entered, closing the door behind her. 

“What’s up with Annie?” Danny asked.

“Same old, same old. She used to do that to mom too,” Joric said, slurping the milk off a spoon.

“What? Why?”

“Well, if mom hadn’t told you, tomorrow is their school’s talent show, and you’re going,” he pointed the spoon at her. 

“Okay…” 

 

Danny dropped her bag on the chair beside her brother then proceeded to lean on the counter.

“So she wants to surprise me then?”

“Exactly. Always the smart one,” her brother drawled, going back to his cereal.

“I guess it has been a while since I heard her play,” Danny wondered aloud. 

“It’s a really good song, by the way,” Joric grinned.

“I’m in for a good surprise… Wait, aren’t you going?”

“I have work, dude. Plus I already know the surprise. And oh, dude, you better be really into it,” he smirked, finishing up the milk from the bowl.

 

The way Joric smirked sparked Danny’s interest, but whatever surprise might that be, it seemed different from what Danny expected. Definitely different.

 

//

 

“Carm, can you--” Laura stopped mid-sentence.

 

Carmilla wasn’t here anymore. She had to drill into her brain that the languid woman had moved into her sister’s place the first night after she asked for time and space. If Laura hadn’t caught her at crack ass of dawn, Carmilla would have escaped like the prowling cat that she is. It was stupid, Laura knew. They’ve been together for what seemed like forever that it was routine for them to wake up and get ready for the day together, but now the mansion that Laura lived in felt like it was haunted by ghosts of memories. 

 

It was so so stupid, Laura repeated in her thoughts. Why had she agreed to go today? It was Sunday; she could have just wallowed in her thoughts in this large mansion, all by herself, but no, she had to go to this talent show. To watch her ex-girlfriend’s sister perform. And worse, she had to watch it with said ex-girlfriend’s mother. The things she did for Annie. At least, she didn’t have to see Danny again, she thought as she put on eyeliner in front of the mirror.

 

Honestly, she shouldn’t be thinking about her when she was putting on makeup. She always ruined it. 

 

//

 

Danny had been surrounded by adults or children disguised as adults for the past few years that she had forgotten how tiny elementary school kids can be. Not to mention that being swarmed by small children somehow terrified her. Danny didn’t know how popular Annie was. A few timid girls wished her good luck except for this one girl who tackle hugged her.

“Dania!” Annie squealed. 

“Good luck today, Annie! I know it’s a special day,” Dania said, her eyes, Danny noted, conveying a secret message that somehow involved the redhead. 

 

Dania waved a see-you-later and disappeared into the crowd. 

“I can’t believe I’ve been replaced,” Danny mocked hurt.

“Dandan will always be number--” Annie paused, thinking, “--one in my heart!”

“You paused!”

“Because I was choosing between you and Daddy,” Annie replied.

“Dania, huh, sounds like my name,” Danny commented.

“Exactly how we became friends,” Annie beamed.

 

Danny missed the toothless smile, but this was much better.

 

The speaker announced for the contestants to go backstage already to prepare for the show. Danny kissed Annie’s head to wish her a good luck. The kid smiled back at her. Annie had such a confident smile that Danny thought she didn’t need good luck when Annie made her own. 

 

The tall redhead made her way to the front reserved seats. She felt bad for some people behind her because her head might obstruct their view of the stage. She’d try to slump down as much as possible, she thought. As soon as she found her seat, Danny had a chill down her spine, as if someone was staring at her. In which, there was someone staring up at her.  _ No fucking way.  _

“Laura?”

“Danny?” They both asked at the same time, both wide-eyed surprised. 

“What are you--”

“I thought your mo--” They both talked and stopped at the same time. 

 

Danny had kept her mouth closed to let Laura speak this time. 

“I thought your mom was the one going to watch Annie,” Laura asked. 

“Well, stuff happened and here I am,” Danny shrugged. 

 

Danny didn’t know that the other ticket was given away. The cogs in her brain began to work as she took her seat. Oh. Surprise. Did Annie plan this? Her mother? Joric? 

“When did you get the ticket for this show?” Danny was curious. 

“About 2 weeks ago. Your mom thought that I ought to watch Annie because she learned a lot from me,” Laura answered. 

“Laura, I didn’t know-- when I said what I said before, I didn’t know that this--”

“It’s okay,” Laura paused, staring at her. 

 

There it was again. That look from the party. 

“Danny, I--”

“Good morning, everyone. We will be starting the show in a few seconds,” the speaker boomed. 

 

As the lights dimmed, Laura turned her head to the stage, her eyes focusing on the curtain. Danny still had her eyes on Laura, her heart sinking since she wanted to hear Laura finish her sentence. She bit her tongue to prevent from clicking it in disappointment. And with a different resounding click, the spotlight shone brightly. 

 

Danny shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She didn’t know if she should leave half of the armrest to Laura like she did before when they watched a movie. Plus, she noticed how Laura would grip the armrest when she was about to whisper something to Danny, but the brunette would catch herself that she wasn’t supposed to be excitedly whispering something to her ex-girlfriend who she hadn’t properly talked to. Laura would replace her hands on her lap and return her attention to the show. 

 

When one kid was doing magic tricks for his part, Danny's worries over the armrest disappeared, just as the cards flew in the air and vanished. She rested her hand slightly by the edge of the armrest. When the kid pulled a string of colourful cloths disgustingly from his mouth, Laura’s hand was instantly on top of Danny’s. They glanced briefly at each other, then Laura withdrew her hand quickly, muttering a small apology. Both of them hoped that none of them could see each other blushing in the slight darkness. 

 

When the magician kid finished, Laura had leaned in closer and whispered:

“How many times do you think he practiced with that disgusting trick?”

“I don’t even want to know. But with the stains I’ve seen on some of the handkerchiefs, I’m guessing a whole lot,” Danny chuckled. 

 

As they announced the next performer, Laura shifted back to her seat. Danny missed the closeness when she noticed how the sweet scent of Laura’s shampoo had faded. She sighed. This was pure torture, being so close yet still so distant. She wondered how long this show would go on.

 

The spotlight shined on a keyboard. Annie, in her little light blue dress, walked on stage with a bright smile on her face. She waved at Danny and Laura’s general direction, Danny giving the thumbs-up, and Laura awkwardly waving back. 

 

Do you know that feeling of anticipation whenever something great is about to happen? Like a rush of breath filling your lungs as you’re about to jump to shoot the ball into the basket? And that moment when you land on your feet and the bated breath and the silent prayer you hope the ball goes in, winning the game?

 

That was how the silence felt before Annie pressed the first key of her piece. The intro was so gentle that it reminded Danny of her first time listening to Laura play. It was as expected since Laura had taught her. Then it hit Danny. She knew this song  _ so well _ . And clearly, Laura had realized as well when she squeezed Danny’s fingers. Usually the song didn’t have any intros but Annie had improvised, maybe for the purpose not to give it away to them. 

 

_ It took one look, _

 

Both of them caught in Annie’s angelic voice, caught in each other’s gazes, their hands tangled, their hearts trampled all over again. Even only with the light from the stage, they could still see how their emotions changed, Danny’s eyes glistening, her mouth slightly opened, her breaths shallow and fighting back a sob, then Laura’s unsteady gaze, her lip bite, probably her thoughts running in confusion. 

 

_ I take one step, away.  _

 

Danny shook her head and smiled. How funny it was that she’d taken so many steps away, to run away from Laura, to run away from a pain that she thought she couldn’t handle. So many steps away from the memories that were rushing over her, and the memories that she could have made with Laura. 

 

_ Then I find myself coming back to you.  _

 

And she’s back here again. Maybe not for this sole reason. Her heart almost bursting, Danny brought Laura’s hand to her lips, kissed her knuckles and her tears escaping, rolling down on to Laura’s hands. Laura squeezed her hand in return. 

 

_ My one and only, one and only you… _

 

Knowing there were only a couple of minutes left in this song, Danny savoured in this moment, the only moment that she could be swept up by locked emotions and Laura returning her feelings even in small gestures. Would it have been inappropriate to kiss her right then and there, where all can see two silhouettes rediscovering their feelings during an elementary kids’ show? Danny had thought so, but did it stop her? Not with the way Laura’s fingers had slid behind her neck, and run their course through her hair. It was impossible to stop now. Law of gravitational force, remember? Laura rushed forward, pulling Danny again. Danny had forgotten how soft her lips were, how sweet she tasted, and how much she loved her. Her heart ached. She loves her.

 

Everything be damned.

 

She loves her.

 

//

 

As soon as the show was over, Laura and Danny escaped the crowds. They walked awkwardly along the halls in silence, both of them preoccupied with fixing their hair, Danny running her hand through her hair, and Laura tucking a few strands behind her ear. When a kid ran by and bumped Laura, Danny had caught her and something electric shoot through her nerves. Laura, her eyes never leaving the floor, muttered her gratitude and moved away from Danny. 

“So, um, about what happened earlier…” Danny trailed off. Laura looked up.

“Danny, I, uh--”

“I know you’re still with Carmilla.”

“And you’re still with Kirsch,” Laura countered.

 

Danny pushed her hair back again, and gods, Laura wanted to kiss her again.

“Actually, I kinda broke it off with Kirsch,” Danny admitted. 

“What?” Laura asked, her heart racing.

“Well, talk about cowardice, I backed out as soon as he pulled a ring on me. Geez, we’ve only been casually dating for 2-3 months,” Danny explained quickly. 

“Holy crabcakes. Danny, if you think that’s being a coward, I’m--,” Laura swallowed, “--I said no to Carmilla’s too. And we kinda broke it off too.”

“And you’ve been together for years,” Danny mumbled, which Laura understood because she nodded. 

“But why?” Danny, seeing that there were tears in Laura’s eyes, couldn’t bite her tongue for asking an inappropriate question. 

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to!” Danny followed up.

“It’s okay,” Laura wiped the unshed tears before they could finally fall, “I just-- I-- Danny, I-- you know!”

 

When Danny was caught in Laura’s gaze, she knew. She knew, but she wasn’t sure. She had to hear it.

“Know what?”

“That I-- you know, Danny! I mean what happened earlier!” Laura said, frustrated.

“Remind me again about what happened earlier…” Danny smirked, closing the distance between them.

“That’s just unfair,” Laura pouted, but she closed her eyes when Danny’s hands cupped her face and their foreheads touched. 

 

Instead of kissing her, Danny had blown onto Laura’s face. Last time she said that it was unfair, they were in a fight, but now they were laughing again like schoolkids. 

“Asshole,” Laura huffed, her eyebrows furrowed in mock anger.

“But I’m  _ your _ asshole,” Danny repeated her usual joke. 

 

Her heart stopped for a moment because, shit, was that too much? Bringing up this old joke they used to have? But when Laura smiled, her heart resumed its function. 

“Before everything else,” Danny licked her lips, “I wanna apologize for the party.”

“I’m sorry too,” Laura said, her eyes focusing on Danny’s lips.

“Hey, Hollis, look up.”

“I’m always looking up when I talk to you, Danny.” Laura rolled her eyes.

“I’m trying to be serious here.”

“Go on, go on.” Laura’s hands were being unfair, touching her arms and all that.

“I’m sorry for the years that I was away.” A kiss to Laura’s forehead.

“I’m sorry for not considering your thoughts when I went away.” A kiss to her cheeks.

“I’m sorry that I was an asshole.” A kiss to her nose. 

“It was my fault too, you know, being pushy, and not noticing your feelings and my weird feelings too,” Laura said, but no kisses.

“Hey, I want to hear it,” Danny’s breath ghosted over her lips, “I’ve already said it to you.”

“Remind me again what was it you said?” Two can play this game. The thing is Danny didn’t mind.

“Laura, I lo--”

 

“Dandan!” 

 

Annie came rushing in. The two separated abruptly. Honestly, Laura deemed Annie as the smallest yet the greatest interruption in history. The little kid hugged Danny so tight. 

“Hey, kiddo! You did such a great job today!” Danny congratulated, ruffling Annie’s curly hair. 

“Thank you! And it was a mission accomplished!” Annie referred to both of them and raised a thumbs-up.

 

The two adults glanced at each other, realizing what had transpired from Annie’s performance. They both blushed and were unable to reply quickly to what Annie had said. 

“You lil sh-- you little kid!” Danny caught herself almost swearing. 

“I can’t believe we fell for a child’s plan,” Laura said, covering her embarrassment with her hand. 

 

Annie only smiled at them so innocently. Danny was about to say something, but her phone vibrated in her back pocket. It was her mother, which only meant one thing. 

“He’s awake?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, we’ll be there.” Danny hung up the phone. 

 

As much as she wanted to stay here, Danny had to go. She stared at Laura and almost invited her, but Laura shook her head. 

“Your dad probably still hates me,” Laura said. 

“I’m pretty sure that your dad hates me more,” Danny countered.

“Um, that’s kinda true,” Laura said, sheepishly.

“We’ll have to talk about that later,” Danny said, pulling Laura by her arm and into a hug.

“I love you,” she whispered quickly into Laura’s ear. 

 

One last look at Laura and a few words to warn Annie about keeping her mouth shut about the two of them, Danny and Annie took off to the hospital.

 

//

 

Before Danny had hated how the hospital looked so desolate, but now, it felt so lively. She saw how one nurse was encouraging a patient to walk slowly but surely. Then another scene where a patient and her grandson were laughing out loud. What seemed like a purgatory of suffering before became a dazzling, pure heaven. 

 

Danny had to hold back her athletic speed as she saw Annie lagging behind. She could’ve carried Annie on her back, but she knew the rush of running towards an end goal, and it was always so satisfying. A doctor had chided them not to run in the hallways, but they didn’t stop. Danny only shouted an apology as she sped past by. 

 

Giddy with child-like excitement, Danny did her best not to jump onto her father’s bed as soon as they got into the room, but that didn’t stop Annie. She squiggled and squirmed and kissed her dad. Her dad laughed and beckoned for Danny to join in. The redhead hugged the both of them and her heart soared. There was only so much happiness a heart can contain. 

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Danny kept repeating, almost telling herself that she was okay and didn’t need to cry. 

“I missed you, Danny.” Ric said. 

“How about me, Tatay?” Annie asked.

“Of course, I missed you too.” He poked her little nose. 

“Tatay, my plan worked!” Annie exclaimed.

“Your plan?” Ric and Danny asked at the same time, but realization dawned on Danny. She wasn’t fast enough to stop Annie from spilling the words. 

“Dandan kissed Laura!” Annie blurted. 

 

Danny’s cheeks flushed with colour. She hid her face with her hand. 

“Oh?” their dad had a knowing grin on his face. 

“Okay, but to be exact, she kissed me,” she confessed. 

 

Honestly, why should she be embarrassed? Her family always knew how much she liked Laura. 

“Oh God, in the elementary school?” Angie finally spoke, implying something else.

“I, uh, yes.” Danny wished that the conversation would take another turn, but her brain couldn’t divert from the thought of Laura’s lips on hers.

“Angie! Now you got our kid tongue-tied,” Ric said. 

“Well, if Danny didn’t tie her tongue with--”

“Geez, Mom! Annie’s still in the same room!” Danny reminded.

“Sorry, dear.”

“So what’s gonna happen with you two now?” Ric asked. 

 

Danny thought for a moment. She wasn’t really sure what would come next. Only that she really hoped that Laura felt the same way as her. 

“I don’t really know, but I told her what I felt so the ball’s in her court now,” Danny said. 

“Honey, you do know that she only has less than 24 hours to think that through?” her mom said. 

“What?”

“Isn’t your flight tomorrow?”

“Shit--” her mother gave her a look, “--uh sorry. Yeah, it’s tomorrow but it’s not like I have to hear her in person to tell me what she thinks. I can wait.” 

“Okay then,” her mother said.

“Plus I’d rather extend my stay here if I can to stay with Dad,” Danny added. 

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine now!” her father said, flexing his biceps. 

 

All of them laughed. It was nice to be back in this scene with her family. Maybe things were looking up. It was definitely a celebration of life, as Danny’s dad had put it. Thinking of that, Danny remembered that she had to have that talk with her father. Maybe not now, but someday, since now someday is a definite possibility.

 

//

 

After she checked in her baggage, she felt a spot of loneliness. No one to accompany her since Kirsch had gone ahead, attending to some of his fraternity matters. Plus Danny broke up with him, but firmly stated that they would rather stay as friends. It would have been an awkward flight back to school if they went together. 

 

Danny had insisted for her family to not come. Joric and her mother had work, Annie at school, while her father still being monitored in the hospital. She did say that she was going to be alright, but now she kind of missed them. Well, she was going to be back anyway, so why feel so sentimental now?

 

Maybe it was because the first time she went away, she was alone. Now here she was alone again. She remembered the stupid bear in front of the Canadian souvenir shop and the crocodile hovering over the toy shop. By the security gate, before passengers would separate from their friends and family, Danny observed a group of, what Danny assumed as, students who were saying farewells to their dear friend. The students watched their friend walk in line to the security checkpoint until they got past and disappeared out of sight. Danny sighed, approaching the gate, but someone called her name.

“Danny!”

 

Clutching her phone in her hand, Laura came running towards her. She stopped and bent, holding her knees to take big breaths.

“You can’t just fucking leave like that again,” Laura panted. Danny flinched over hearing Laura swear like that.

 

English major, still no words. 

“Laf told me. You told everyone except me, you asshole,” Laura said.

“I texted everyone though?” Danny replied.

“Danny! Everyone’s numbers can change in the span of 4 years!” Laura chided, lightly pounding on Danny’s chest in frustration. Danny took this as a chance to hold Laura in her arms.

“I’m sorry,” Danny kissed the top of Laura’s head when she calmed down, “Although I was feeling lonely and--”

 

Laura captured Danny’s words with her mouth, her hands frantically touching Danny’s face. This felt right. Before Danny wouldn’t know where to put her hands because being this close to Laura derailed anything rational, but now she knew. One hand on the small of her back and the other in her hair. She didn’t ever want to pull back from anything like this, but curiosity got the better of Laura.

“Wait, if you texted everybody then why am I the only one here?” Laura asked. 

“I think after my years of high school and college experience, everyone just loves to set me up with anyone,” Danny answered. 

“Oh…” Laura said, realizing all the times she’d been left alone with Danny or Carmilla. 

“So,” Danny tucked Laura’s hair behind her ear then tilted her chin up, “can we get back to the matter at hand?”

“Danny, wait.” Laura leaned back. 

“Yeah?” Danny asked, confused.

“I have to say something first. Danny Lawrence, I lo--”

“Wait.” Danny interrupted this time, with a finger on Laura’s lips. 

“I’m not really ready to hear it yet. I want us to be friends first.” Danny was sure her heart would jump out anytime soon, especially if Laura had continued what she was about to say. 

“Friends, kissing at a kids’ show and an airport. Yup, let’s keep it platonic,” Laura mocked. 

“No, no. Not like that. What I meant is that let’s get to know each other again. I want you to know what’s happening with me and I wanna know more about you. Share interests and jokes, disagree on a few things, support each other… Then maybe we’ll see if that works out.” 

“Okay deal.”

“I’m afraid that took out the remaining seconds we had,” Danny said, looking at the digital clock then to the lengthening line for the security checkpoint.

 

One last kiss before the two let go of each other. Danny hoisted her duffel bag, its strap hanging on her shoulder. They’ve both decided against saying goodbyes, but Danny had one thing she requested:

“Wait for me this time?”

“Of course.” Laura squeezed Danny’s free hand. 

“I love you.”

“Nothing new,” Laura bit back her intended reply, but this reminded her of the first time Danny had confessed to her accidentally. 

“But always true.” Danny smiled, letting go of Laura’s hand. 

 

She finally turned away and showed her boarding pass to the officer. Laura had waited for her until she had gone past the security check. Danny waved to Laura as she walked until she can’t see her anymore. She walked towards her gate with a renewed passion and motivation to tackle whatever came ahead. 

 

Maybe this time everything will work out. 

 

//

 

There was a soft sensation on her forehead. Then it moved to her right eye. Danny caught Laura’s lips with her own. She smiled into the kiss. 

 

Danny opened her eyes slowly. She knew how Laura would always pull back the curtains to let the sunlight in their room. 

“Why are you in a shirt?” Danny asked, sounding offended.

“But it’s  _ your  _ shirt. Don’t you like me wearing your shirts?” Laura pouted.

“Yes and no,” Danny said, kissing Laura to wipe that cute pout off her face. 

“Take it off,” Danny whispered into Laura’s ear and she slid her hands under the shirt. 

“Tempting but I’m not gonna spend another day in our bed again.” Laura hummed. 

“Says the person who’s teasing me with my shirt,” Danny said, peppering Laura’s neck with kisses. Laura tried to stifle her giggles but she was ticklish this morning. 

“I really want to --” Laura moaned when Danny slid her fingers in between Laura’s thighs. 

“Want what, Laura?”

“Appliances,” Laura blurted out. Danny laughed then gave Laura quick peck on the lips.

“Fine,” Danny conceded. 

 

She laced her fingers with Laura’s and kissed her ring finger.

 

They both had the same silver band, and very much happily entangled in the same infinity. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me more than a year and a half to finish this. I started out trying to update this weekly but that didn't happen, although I am very happy that I finished it this way since I wouldn't have Mel, Theo and a very small mention of Mattie in this fic. I am sad to let go of this fic, but proud to have finished it. Hollence means so much to me especially if you know me from tumblr or something. 
> 
> But, anyway, to you people who have followed this story to the end... Thank you so much. And special shoutout to notabeautifultalentedasshole for beta-ing the first several chapters of this fic and for encouraging me to keep going and giving me lots of ideas. I wouldn't have finished it without you. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the ending of this story as much as I was excited to see the end of this. I mean who doesn't want to end a Hollence fic with a happy Hollence? Clearly, not many since everything is laced with angst when it comes to Danny. 
> 
> Lastly, I invite you to comment what you think! Do you think there should be more happy hollence things in this world? Because I believe there should be, leading me to write this fic.


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